Controlled crying...may need some help :)

[Minchin]

Ok well it has got to the point in the last 2 weeks that I think Owen actually needs us to do this. He was putting himself to sleep for over half his naps and bedtimes, by chatting away and 'biting' hugging his bunny comforter blanket/toy. When he couldn't get himself to sleep usually a little back rub was all that was needed.

Now for naps and bedtimes he'll be happy for a while, even if really tired he'll chat, stand up, sit down, bounce, then he'll just start crying/screaming, wants no help from us, seems to be 'refusing' the nap or bedtime. Last night gave him extra milk, today for the morning nap gave him water in a bottle. The past week have resorted to walks or drives. So basically I have been doing some reading and think we need to do controlled crying. Thing is, I already try to leave him a bit and go in every 5/10 mins but think we need to do it properly as can't go on like this with naps and bedtimes the way it is, he's crying so much that I think if we just do it-yeah it'll be a lot of crying for a day or 2 but in the long run - a lot less crying.

The other thing that might be happening is trying to drop the first nap, he suddenly is not as tired and needing the nap as early. I know this takes time though...But why would that affect his sleep so much the rest of the time? I think he's becoming more aware of what's going on and trying to protest.

So any advice? There seem to be a few different ways of doing it but this looks pretty standard
http://www.askbaby.com/baby-sleep-training.htm

Think I'm a bit worried about listening to him cry for so long Any tips?

xxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I've done controlled crying with both children and it worked really well! Some nights it takes charley a while to drop off so I let him cry, normally I'm doing his bottles though so have the kettle on so I can't hear him. Hope it works for you x x

 

[Minchin]

Thanks hon.think it's the only way forward for us. He needs to be able to sleep better than he is atm. Dreading it but hoping 3 days and it should be better, keep putting it off. Just have to bite the bullet I think. Gonna start Tues night as then only one day at work so if haven't had any sleep will be a little easier. xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

It helped massively for me with the twins, really quickly too x

 

[isobel84]

Worked here good luck, its hard, but don't give in n it will work wonders. Sometimes u have to be cruel to be kind x

 

[Squeakz]

We did that with joshua. Was horrible but we knew he wa full warm etc etc. Saying that his sleep is mangled atm.... So back to doing it again x good luck!!!! X

 

[Minchin]

thanks guys
Think I have spent far too long thinking about it and i know it's gonna be hard but at least I should see an improvement and I feel I need to do it to teach him, it's like he's trying to do it on his own and us trying to soothe him just makes him worse.
Start tomorrow I think. Will keep you posted. Think OH will be better than me and keep me strong!
xxx

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Good luck with it, worked really well with Lizzie (although some nights I miss the snuggling so I'm naughty and cuddle her to sleep lol). It's difficult if he's chatting etc cos you don't want to get to the point where he's overtired iykwim? But as long as he's warm/fed/dry etc then you've gotta remind yourself that he will eventually sleep!
I used to put Lizzie to bed then go into the kitchen and put the extractor fan on so I couldn't hear her for the first 10 minutes....still got no idea whether she was ever crying!

 

[Minchin]

Good luck with it, worked really well with Lizzie (although some nights I miss the snuggling so I'm naughty and cuddle her to sleep lol). It's difficult if he's chatting etc cos you don't want to get to the point where he's overtired iykwim? But as long as he's warm/fed/dry etc then you've gotta remind yourself that he will eventually sleep!
I used to put Lizzie to bed then go into the kitchen and put the extractor fan on so I couldn't hear her for the first 10 minutes....still got no idea whether she was ever crying!

That's a good plan Shame DH broke it a while back by stinking it out and ndearly causing a kitchen fire too lol!

 

[tinytoes]

Honestly its worth it , we had a tough week of ten/fiftten minutes every night and then it was sorted . Aoibheann goes to bed every night happily , she waves goodbye and snuggles down happily . I used to pop outside with a cuppa and the baby monitor for a few minutes as it was tough to hear her , but I had a video monitor and could see her so I knew she was ok .

 

[Amy_J]

its worked well for us. was a stressful 2 weeks for me but by the end of it he was crying less & less, and now goes to bed no probs even when he is wide awake! good luck!

 

[Minchin]

Thanks for all your comments ladies, it really helps

Well thought I'd give you a little update. Husband was with Owen monday and tuesday and then today he was with childminder.
Monday he cried for over an hour for nap time, husband ended up walking him in pram then he managed to transfer him to cot. did this again for 2nd nap.

tuesday they had playgroup and again he fell asleep in cot afetr and got transfered. Both nights he was left to cry at bedtimes with 5 mins intervals to pop in and a quick pat and shh. Monday night, 45 mins til asleep, ast night 10 and tonight 7 mins now asleep. Well hopefully we have cracked it with the bedtime but naps seems to still be NIGHTMARE!

my friends suggested a few weeks of walking him to sleep in pram at exact same times each day then his body would 'know' it was sleep time at these times. What does anyone think to that?

Today at childminders he had 15 mins power nap at 12, was showing tiredness at 1.30 and 2.30, she tired 4 times to put him down, leave him for up to 10 mins but no good then at 3.30 he fell asleep in cot she stroked his cheek. So he looks like he is needing a lot less naps.

What times do your LOs nap and what age are they, how long do naps last etc?

Feeling more positive as at the weekend I was really feeling down and quite anxious and angry about it.
xxxx

 

[isobel84]

I did controlled crying nap times to. In the beggining he cried for so long but eventually fell asleep. Now if he don't feel like going for a nap he played with a soft toy for bit n then falls asleep.

He sleeps to like 10th ish n then he need another nap 12-1 but it depends on what we r doing. He sleeps for 1-2 hours, then another nap 4-5 for an hour then bed 7-8 pm

 

[Minchin]

how l did he cry for hon and how often did you go in for quick reassurance?
I honestly reckon Owen would cry for at least 2 hours, we've 1 and a half, i cant take any longer xx

 

[isobel84]

2 hours at most, I went in first after 5 min, then waited longer n longer everytime x

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Charley's a bugger with day time naps ATM. He normally naps twice a day for 30mins each. He normally naps on the school runs so he's in the pushchair but at weekends it's hell to get him to nap cos I don't want to get in the habit of walking him to sleep. If he looks sleepy I'll put him in his cot and he starts crying so I leave him for 10mins, if he's still crying after that I get him back up again but most of the time he cries himself to sleep. I feel so guilty but I don't know another way to get him to nap!

 

[don-don]

hey chick,

My LO has 3 sometimes four (very rarely) half an hour naps a day. He never goes longer then half an hour, he just wakes up lol. I think he could do with more, but hey ho xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Squeakz]

My LO will have a 2 hour nap between 11-1 ish!! So gets 14 hours sleep a day!!!!!!!!!! X

 

[Squeakz]

He's really good now at bed time (think what I said in my last comment was a phjase) but I think that's down to controlled crying x

 

[Minchin]

thanks everyone.
He just went down to bed with 3 mins crying gonna have a nice glass of red now
walked or drove him for his naps today and he wouldn't transfer to cot but seemed so happy with much less sleep so think there's a big change going on there.
Think tomorrow I'm gonna stretch him til lunch then put him down about 12 and give him 2 hours max of crying then I will walk him if not asleep til then. So I have a max of 2 hours ust need to cope with the crying for that time. I find it really hard! But I don;t think we should feel guilty because it's teaching him how to sleep on his own. I said I'd never do it (but friends have any would never judge!) but I am happy with our decision now.

may see a few posts from me tomorrow between the hours of 12 and 2 lol!

...now for the red vino....

xxx