Controlled crying help

[Karenb]

Hi,
I know some people disagree with this method- I'm asking for advice now I've started so please don't hate on me for doing it.

Sophie is 6 and half months and has been co sleeping and sucking boob allllll night. Tried lots of things to change this but to no avail, so have started controlled crying. It's so damn hard and she cries for HOURS but then it's good when she finally settles.

Night one: cried for 2 hours
Slept in cot from until 4.30 with one wake up.

Night two: cried for 3 hours
Slept in cot until 8.20(!) with one breast feed at 6.30.

Night three: she has been crying for almost 2 hours

Surely she should be settling quicker?? If she gets really distressed I have been in and put her on breast to calm and reassure her. Start the night going in 2,4,6,8 then 10 mins but me going in makes her lots worse so haven't been in for a while.

HELPPPPP!

 

[mrs_b_x]

When I did cc with my son at 6 months. I used to lay him down, kiss n say night n leave, then I stayed out for ten mins then back in for two. I set timers to keep it strict. First night I went I. Three times, second night twice, third night not at all. Since then he only ever doesn't settle if he's ill and once he's better he's back to normal. Aslong as she's dry, fed, not in pain then I'd say start with ten mins? You might be making her worse going in to frequently to start with? Good luck xx

 

[Karenb]

Wow it worked so quickly for you. It doesn't feel right taking this long, she must be so exhausted!!

 

[babyscotcher]

As she associates you with getting boobs is there anyone else who can go into her instead? X

 

[Karenb]

My husband works until 9.45pm this week... And then next week he has to be up at 5... He helps as soon as home.

Just checked on her and she'd done a poo! Typical!! Changed and fed her and she seems ok... For now!

 

[Coletteypie]

Good luck Karen - sounds horrible ! But you have to do something to get some sleep xx

 

[El1en]

Aw Karen I'm sorry you're finding it tough.

I've very recently tried this and thankfully the first and second night only took 20mins and 3rd she went to sleep within minutes.

My timings were supposed to be 2,4,6,8,10 etc but I honestly i did 2,4,5,5,5. I just couldn't do more then 5.

Keep at it, sometimes it only takes a night or two to work but it can take a week or slightly longer. Once she's got it things will be great. It's for her benefit as much as yours

Does she have a favourite soft toy that can go in the cot with her until she falls asleep? That helped my little one. These days when she goes down i can hear her laughing at her toy goat for a few minutes before she falls asleep

 

[JD.Deedee]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...ents-misled-cry-it-out-sleep-training-reports

http://evolutionaryparenting.com/shut-the-door-and-walk-away/


If anything Jo frost's method is slightly more gentle than the known American method but generally I think 6 months is still too young. The second article is perhaps more exaggerated but it makes the point about it right.

 

[El1en]

Karen already said she understands some people don't agree with cc but that she was doing it. I really don't think articles like that are helpful. If you don't agree there's no need to comments, stuff like that is better saved for Netmums

 

[Baby2sky]

Honestly if a 6 month old is crying for 2/3 hours I really think you should just go and comfort them with whatever it takes. 6 month olds are still little babies.

 

[JD.Deedee]

Karen already said she understands some people don't agree with cc but that she was doing it. I really don't think articles like that are helpful. If you don't agree there's no need to comments, stuff like that is better saved for Netmums

That's why I said use Jo Frost's method if you have to..

 

[Karenb]

Honestly if a 6 month old is crying for 2/3 hours I really think you should just go and comfort them with whatever it takes. 6 month olds are still little babies.

I would never leave her for 3 hours without comforting. I did the checks and then after a while breastfed her to reassure and comfort. Last night it was after one of these that she finally settled and I didn't hear a peep until 6.30am. We both need this, we cannot continue how we were.

Thank you to those who offered advice x

 

[Karenb]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...ents-misled-cry-it-out-sleep-training-reports

http://evolutionaryparenting.com/shut-the-door-and-walk-away/


If anything Jo frost's method is slightly more gentle than the known American method but generally I think 6 months is still too young. The second article is perhaps more exaggerated but it makes the point about it right.

Controlled crying does NOT advise to leave a baby to cry with distress and beyond. You listen to the type of cry. If she's sounding scared or very upset, I would comfort.

 

[Mrs M]

I did this with my little boy just before 7 months, and it took a week. 2-3 hours, going in and settling every 5 mins or so, but on the 6th night it was only half an hour, and the 7th 10 mins to sleep no crying! Now he's 3 and a half and sleeps well!

 

[Karenb]

I did this with my little boy just before 7 months, and it took a week. 2-3 hours, going in and settling every 5 mins or so, but on the 6th night it was only half an hour, and the 7th 10 mins to sleep no crying! Now he's 3 and a half and sleeps well!

Thank you so much for this!! Everywhere I read people
Say it takes 20/30 mins... So glad it worked for and sounds very similar to my girl!! Strong willed maybe?? It's so hard x

 

[Jojo84]

I can't remember when I did cc with my son but it was around 7 months I think. As I recall
We let him cry for 5 minutes and went in, comforted without touching him, then let him cry again 5-7 and did the same up to 15 minutes.

It took us a few days to see improvement but it's worth it.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea but I now have a 21 month old who sleeps through every single night since 7 months (bar illness)

 

[caseysmummy11]

I did this method with my little boy and it took a while to work for us too. We did it slightly differently in the end as he was older as we co slept until 12 months as we had no room for a cot at the time. We sat next to him holding his hand and gradually went out further and further. My oh didn't like the cc and would rather rock him to sleep which was defeating the point of what we were trying to do so we came up with this as a compromise.

With lily she's recently regressed with her sleep and if she's fed and changed we do cc as sometimes she's just overtired and nothing will settle her and she would constantly cry. She's learnt to self settle in the night now because of this which has been helpful. Before the regression we would put her to bed with white noise on and she would fall to sleep. Have you tried white noise? I find it helps keep them calm. It may help if you haven't already tried it. I think though perseverance is the key. It's hard work but they do get there hun! Xxx

 

[Karenb]

Thank you! Tonight she cried for 50 mins and has been quiet for 55! Have a feeling it's not over for tonight yet though?! Used white noise a lot when younger and it was great but doesn't seem to have the same effect now! I was planning on stopping breastfeeding completely but if this sleep does work, I will be able to do evening feed I think... But sometimes get hubby to do bottle in case I'm working or have plans on an evening.

 

[caseysmummy11]

I weaned my son like that and gradually dropped feeds for bottles and kept the night time ones for a while before weaning completely . It will get easier once she's cracked it though hun. It takes some a little longer than others but it does get there. My son was terrible to teach buy he is a very good sleeper now xxx

 

[Karenb]

It's so good hearing success stories!! Maybe she's taking longer than others as we've been co sleeping and she's had unlimited access to boobie?? Lol x