Tommo
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- Dec 28, 2012
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I guess the only upside is that you know it was "all talk" but my worry would be what if next time it wasn't just a one sided drunken phone call???
xxxxxxx
this was one of my thoughts, if he did just call her out of the blue, it could quite easily have been someone that lived closer and was a little easier and then would he have ended up cheating on me when I was asleep upstairs!? I can't bear that thought.
Tommo- I'm really sorry that happened to u, your ex is a dick! I've checked everything of his the same night and there's no sign of anything suspicious, I know his passwords to everything anyway just cos I've had to find info/phone numbers etc for him when he's been at work before, but I checked his laptop incase he had secret accounts and he doesn't.
basically I can't chuck him out cos I'm on medication which sometimes makes me drowsy and go into deep sleeps, if this happens it's like being passed out so There has to be someone else in the house incase the baby needs anything, I slept for 18 hours one day last week, so if he hadnt been here the baby wouldn't have been fed or looked after, which is obviously not an option!
But there has to be an other option surely??? It can't just be risk that baby will be neglected or stay with potential cheat. Can't you even kick him out for a bit to put the fear of god in him? Get his conscious kick started, cue some crying and begging?
I know it's easier said than done, I appreciate that. When push came to shove I was reluctant to do anything with DH. I wanted to hide under the covers and forget everything and just ignore everything he had done. But you said yourself, you heard that conversation and your heart fell out of your chest.
I also know that you're not supposed to shout at someone to leave their partner.. And I'm sorry for that lol can you tell I'm passionate about this? But I knew all my husbands passwords and i don't mid saying I checked his phones, emails, fb, everything at least a few times a week. And I missed it all... And there was a lot to miss. Even with his iPhone backups I missed a lot and he eventually had to come and tell me the truth bout it all.
(Incidentally, he isn't my ex. We're still together although we broke up for a year when I found all of this out. After a year he came and told me everything he had done, like EVERYTHING. I thought I was going to die and it's a year later and I feel like I'm still having to hold my chest together. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. But DH is changing and I vowed while he minded his vows, I would upkeep mine. If I hadn't made those vows I would be looooooong gone with my self-respect intact.)