I don't know what to do

[grace7]

Hiya Girls,
My little girl is 3 weeks old tomorrow and me and my partner aren't really getting on. He says that i have changed all i do is moan at him and what ever he does isn't good enough. Part of me understands where he is coming from but i feel like our whole relationship has changed i felt like this before our baby was born but thougfht it was just my hormones so decided to stick at it. Now though i look at him and think whats the point and i even question whether i do still love him or not. I know that sounds nasty and i do think i'm being a btich but i can't help how i feel. I have said to him i think we need a break and all he says is well ellie(our little girl) is staying with me! we live with his parents in the middle of nowhere(literally) and part of me feels this is part of the problem i suggested moving out together but all he says is we can't afford it.
I don't know what to do please helpp.
Grace xx

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Im so sorry your feeling like this

I think a hell of a lot of couples go through this when they have a baby, your roles in eachothers lives have changed suddenly and dramatically and instead of being husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend, suddenly your mummy and daddy.

Its a massive transition and is bound to throw relationships into question wether thats just slightly and is quickly forgotten, or to more of an extent which effects how you feel about eachother.

I wish I could give you some amazing advice that would make it all better, but all I can really say is give it some time, maybe once you have both settled into being mummy and daddy you will start to be a couple again aswell

 

[grace7]

Thank you! I see what your saying and i need to give it time but i don't know how much more time i can give it i feel so low and not happy at all i don't know what to do maybe having a break might make us realise how much we mean to each other but part of me is worried maybe if we have a break we might realise we can cope apart i really feel like i'm stuck in a situation and i don't know how to get out of it.

 

[tuck]

Maybe you should speak to your midwife or Doctor it could be a form of depression and they may be able to help, having a baby is a major upheaval for everyone and you need all the support you can get. how do you get on with his family and do you get space of your own.
I'm sorry I cant give any real advice except try for a bit longer, you all need to adjust.

Chin up girl and I'm sure you'll work things out.

 

[whyslifesobig]

you may want space now, I should think a lot of new mums want space to bond with thier baby, but things will get hard for you alone and you may well regret at leasure decisions made in haste.
I agree it sounds like you have a touch of postnatal depression
Good luck and congratulations on the birth of your daughter

 

[nathanmum]

i was like this with OH i didnt know what to feel about him i absolutely doted on nathan and that kinda consumes youe for the first few weeks. after a couple of months we were back on track, so i wouldnt panic yet. do what feels right in your heart. as for giving him a hard time we all do it it must be a new mum thing, i think we just want everything to be perfect the baby the house and so on, i always felt that i was the only one that could do anything or do it properly, it takes a while for this to subside 9.5 months later i still do it