Fed up of dh's drinking

[Emmamb]

I've known my dh for 6 years and he's always enjoyed a beer in the evening to relax but over the years it's gettin more and I can't remember the last time he had an evenin without drinking! I don't have a problem wiv social drinking or even binge drinkin but it's drivin me mad that he doesn't see what my problem is wiv him drinkin every night. He usually drinks crappy cider (the 3.50 for 3 litres type) and easily drinks half a bottle a night,last night he drank half a litre of whisky,whilst sittin downstairs on his own! I've told him that wen the bottles finished then drinking banned unless it's a special occasion or unless were both havin a drink. But I know it won't happen,he thinks i'm jokin wen I say that il tip it down the drain and tbh I probably wouldn't cos we don't have a lot of spare money and chuckin it down the sink would b a waste. Grrr he makes ne so mad,he didn't come to bed til half 5 cos he was watchin the boxin but cos he'd drank so much he didn't realise that ge was shoutin at the screen for the whole time and kept me awake,so I haven't slept either but surprise surprise I still have to get up wiv the kids. I'm gonna get his mum to talk to him later but he won't listen and i really don't know wot else to do...HELP!!

 

[flexilexi394]

Hey Emma. The bad thing about what he's doing is, he IS an alcoholic. And he needs to stop every day because he will die a very premature death when his liver packs in. Thats basically poison every day to his liver. I may sound like a nag but I have studied this sort of thing and people really dont thinkthey are doing any damage but they are. Try and tell him this. People that do drink daily don't accept it with open arms but he needs someone to tell him. Do you ever get the chance to have a bit of a heart to heart? Because I think you need one. Jus so you can tell him what he's doing, because he probably hasn't realised it. I hope you can sort it. It only becomes dangerous and his children will be without a father if he doesn't sort it out soon x

 

[Emmamb]

The thing is he doesn't care...his dad died at 50 from bowel cancer and so did his grandad so he thinks he's destined to only live till he's 50 anyway,I can feel an argument brewin...I haven't put my eye make up on this mornin cos I know I'm gonna end up cryin,he's only just surfaced out of his pit and were off to his mums soon...y r men so stubborn??? xx

 

[Piglet10]

one question hun.... if u DONT pour the alcohol down the sink does that free up some cash.... no it just goes down his neck! maybe he needs shock tactic hun... u GOTTA sort this for the sake of ur baby and before bubs comes! Baby is no.1 now, i think even at 3.500 a night thats like 80 quid a month if u are tight then he cant afford alcohol either xxx

 

[midnight]

he will only stop or seek help when he realise he has a problem he needs to speak to the dr

 

[Stunned]

My OH is a recovering alcoholic. It is tough living with an alcoholic - you love him so much that you cannot just walk away but you cannot help him either. He has to do it himself and for himself.

He was drinking about 3 bottles of wine a day, starting at 10 or 11 in the morning and carrying on till he passed out at night. His liver function tests came back horrific - basically he was half way dead and his skin had a yellow tinge to it and he was vomiting every morning. You know what, not even that was enough to shock him into giving up.

It took me being tough and throwing him out that made him sober up - god I did not want to do that but HAD to for mine and the kids' sake. I had to be very firm and not give in to his begging and tears - he badly wanted to come home but I told him that our children deserved a sober father. It broke my heart and damn near broke me too. 3 days of being totally alone made him realise what he stood to lose if he carried on drinking.

He came home sober and stuck to it - went through cold turkey and then got tablets from the doctors to help with the cravings.

Exactly 6 months later, to the day, I told him I was pregnant! I couldn't have given him a better present on that anniversary!

It hasn't been easy especially with me having to learn to trust him (he had lied to me so many times about his drinking)
and there has been a few bumps along the way but he is trying so hard that I am absolutely proud of him and love him all the more for it.

Your man probably won't give up drinking anytime soon if he feels like he is fine and no-one else is affected by his drinking. Talking to him or showing him the statistics probably won't work either especially if he has a social life where everyone is drinking too and he doesn't see himself as being any different to them. Horrible as it sounds, he has to hit rock bottom and find himself utterly alone before he will wake up and realise that he has a problem.

All you can do is look out for yourself and children. Get yourself a good support network, mum or a friend to help you stay strong and not give in if you do decide to take drastic steps to get him to see what is happening to him and to those who love him.

 

[Emmamb]

Thanks for the replies every1.

Well we chatted on Sunday and his mum and brother basically repeated wot I said...his mum also brought up the fact that his dads drinkin and unhealthy lifestyle was probably a trigger for the cancer.
Anyway he finished off wot he had left yesterday and hasn't had any today fingers crossed it lasts xxx