Bust up with OH

[pinkyprincess]

Because I suggested that the cot mattress we just brought should stay at my mums not his because my mum doesn't smoke.
He's taken it all to heart as an attack on his family because I don't want something my baby will be sleeping on and could die if cot death in to stay in a house where they smoke inside. His nan who also smokes inside is also looking after out buggy when we get it and again I've said I want the fabric bits at home with us (especially as the carry bit will be his bed!)
OH called my ungrateful (as his mum has brought is the cot and his nan paid a good lump towards the buggy) he then started accusing my family of not buying as anything and he knows full well that they are buying is our nursery furniture when we move! They also lent me money to pay for our car! That I'm still paying back!

So upset with him and his attitude as it's constantly like this!!

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Awwww hun, he needs to realise that you have to be careful with things like that for baby.
I've got most of Grace's stuff in my parents house because OH's bedroom has a mould infestation on one wall and I don't want anything to be contaminated. Fortunately my MIL has moved the rest of the things into a clean spare bedroom upstairs.

I don't think you're being ungrateful at all, just a careful mummy! xxx

 

[knopk@]

He does need to understand that being around smoke is bad for the baby, if he doesnt believe you, i am sure he can use internet

 

[JoJo79]

as some of you know im currently on the road to quitting smoking, and i TOTALLY agree with you about not having anything in a house with smoke, anything we get will be stored elsewhere until i finally quit this habit (which i will!)

As we all know smoke clings to stuff and you cant be too careful

Agree with knopk@ tell him to research it xxx

 

[Lilelephant]

Argh men!!!!! Have u explained your reasons?

 

[pinkyprincess]

I've tried! I told him that I would explain to his family but he didn't like the way I said it as I used the words 'I'll tell them' (obviously in the heat of the argument so slightly aggressively) and he's using that as a reason to have a go (although I get on VERY well with his family and we had words last week about the constant digs that he gives my family) he just takes things very personally at the moment (I don't know it's stress about becoming a dad and our housing situation) so I'm constantly walking on eggshells at the moment!

 

[1986princess]

shame hes being like that and taking it so personally, maybe leave a page up on the iternet about the effects of pasive smoke etc and see if he gets the message. im sure he will come round and calm down, men are such victims! x

 

[CustardCream]

I think hes being very unfair on you hun, it doesnt matter who's buying what I think thats really out of order to throw that at you whether your parents are buying you furniture or not. My OH parents are getting us blankets and towels (maybe money too) ... his sister prob nothing and my parents are buying pram and my sister the cot but thats never something I'd throw at him as its not a competion on whos family spends the most. Also I think he needs to wake up and realise about the smoking thing, why would you want new, new born things stinking of smoke aswell as it not being safe. Why is he so defensive about his family is there a reason deep down? x

 

[niknaks]

i think thats a good idea about leaving a page up. my midwife had a massive go at my oh for smoking at our booking in appointment so he is kinda making an effort in a blokey sort of way. maybe find ones that a bit hard hitting. also do u think he could be feeling a bit jealous? cos you and babys getting all the attention. maybe go with him to his mums and explain the reason .im sure she'll be fine and understand, she wouldnt want to harm her grandson and maybe he needs to hear from her that shes ok with it. x