broke the news

[nmf1987]

so don't know if you remember a thread from me a little while ago explaining about my real mum and how she is etc and how i was worried about telling her i didn't want her at the hospital when i am in labour.

well she popped in yesterday and told oh that she is expecting a phone call as soon as i go into labour. my oh then said actually we have discussed it and we arent calling anyone until the baby is here and we know everything is ok etc.

she wanted to know why and i just said i dont want everyone hanging around the hospital etc. it''s pointless as you won't be able to come in the room to see us for at least an hour or so after he is born anyway.

she is now having a paddy and is being short with me and oh. i ahve just logged into her facebook and she has emailed her friend saying how much i have hurt her etc.

don't seem to be able to win. why can't she just respect my wishes and let me and oh bring our 1st child into the world as we want. it is very selfish of her right?

sorry for long post. just feel abit hurt myself that i am being treated like a child and not allowed to make my own decisions without her having a whinge. xxx

 

[midnight]

ignore her she will get over it you have every right to have it how you want it hun dont feel guilty 1 bit she should respect your wishes

 

[tinytoes]

Its not about her , its about you. Nobody will be allowed stay rround the hospital when I am in want that special time for me my oh and our baby and if people dont like it they can just dea with it . xxx

 

[Merfairy]

Hey chick, we are doing the same thing, not telling anyone until baby is here... it is your right to do so chick xxx

 

[heidi-hi]

I totally agree with the others. It's really unfair she's making u feel like that and is being short with u both. At least she has been told straight and now she has a while to get over it before baby comes along. Really do feel for u though, hope she comes round soon, u don't need to be stressing about upsetting people. The decision is yours and she should respect that xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Do what makes you comfortable and happy. It's your body, your baby and your choice hunnie x

 

[snr1982]

Just ignore her and don't you dare even think about feeling guilty coz you have told her what you want to happen and now she is sulking. At the end of the day its your baby and she has to respect that you are now a grown up and want to do things the way you think is best. My mother is very much like what you have said above. Only problem was I was still young at the time I had my first and I guess I just let her get away with everything she wanted to do and I hadn't got a clue. The problems it has caused now is unreal. I dont know about everyone else parents, but mine think they can now do what they want without asking me. drives me mad!

 

[KBrady]

Poor you, it's so hard trying to make other people happy - but when you're having your first baby you're absolutely right to tell everyone exactly what you want and if they don't like it then tough! You'll only have your first baby once, you have to experience it the way you and your OH want to because you won't get another chance!

It would be interesting to log into her Facebook in a day or 2 and see what her friend replies - I'd expect them to say the same as us and tell her to stop being selfish - it's yours and your OH's experience - NOT HERS!

x

 

[Alexandra84]

That does sound a bit self centered. If you want it to be just you and OH then she should respect that. I'm hopefully going to be giving birth at home and it's still going to be just me and OH even though my MIL will be staying with us (she's going to go out and watch a movie and keep herself occupied elsewhere). My parents are not coming until after the baby's born and noone's batted an eyelid so far.

 

[cosmicgirl]

You can never please everyone so as long as you respectfully explain your wishes, that is good enough xx

 

[riotfox]

You should do whatever makes you happy and not have to worry about other people. xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

You should do whatever makes you happy and not have to worry about other people. xx

Agree, 100% xx

 

[cherelle]

My MIL is expecting a call straight away too but we just arent going to tell people until he's here - apart from you girls of course

 

[PinkPanther]

You should do whatever makes you happy and not have to worry about other people. xx

Agree with Riotfox.

It's funny how when a woman gets pregnant that everyone seems to form an opinion about what the woman should/shouldn't do and shove their opinions onto you! It's not her choice and she shouldn't have automatically assumed that it was something that you wanted.

For me, giving birth is a private matter and one that should be shared between the said partners or whoever mum's choice is.

Stick by your guns hun, you're completely in the right.

 

[nmf1987]

Poor you, it's so hard trying to make other people happy - but when you're having your first baby you're absolutely right to tell everyone exactly what you want and if they don't like it then tough! You'll only have your first baby once, you have to experience it the way you and your OH want to because you won't get another chance!

It would be interesting to log into her Facebook in a day or 2 and see what her friend replies - I'd expect them to say the same as us and tell her to stop being selfish - it's yours and your OH's experience - NOT HERS!

x

her friend had replied and said that we obviously dont want her to be worrying the whole time.

she replied saying she doesnt think its that she thinks its cos i will feel i have to have everyone there.

problem is the truth is i would be happy to have the others there but if she was there aswell she would cause tension and arguements.

guess i will just have to leave her to it. xxx

 

[pinkymum]

Not always easy but try to ignore her best you can and do what makes you and OH happy! I think you'll need to be firm from the start with her.......its difficult huh? But you have every right to make your own decisions and stick to them!!!!



x

 

[midnight]

no one will be coming to the hospital to see me im not in that long so thats mine my dh and babies time

 

[BabysMomma]

I would let her whinge away tbh. Its your & OH's time to make that special bond with your new little bundle of joy. I'm sure she'll get over it. It drives me nuts when people don't respect others wishes. I agree that its very selfish and it makes what should be the focus on your LO all about her. Don't let her win hun. Its her who has the issue, not you. x

 

[Nanc]

I agree with the other girls... this is your choice. The birth is about you, your OH and your baby, no one else. I am doing exactly as I please.... I have told my mum and in laws that I want no one coming to the hospital or the house until we ring them and let them know they can visit... probably a few days after we get home. They know I am strong willed and haven't even questioned it. I don't think I'm being selfish so I certainly don't think you are for not wanting your mum at the hospital while you're in labour! I can't think of anything worse quite frankly.

Do what you want Hun, your baby's birth can never be repeated. x

 

[Cantstop]

Yeah as others have said, it is totally selfish of her! Just let her keep sulking - it's awful when you feel you need to do this that and the other looking out for the feelings of others, especially when they don't return the favour.

For this event you are 100% within your rights to have whoever you want there and not feel like you have to apologise for it. Hope she snaps out of it soon.