The OH's mother

[Flame]

Why do they always have to tell you what to do?!

This weekend she came over and we went shopping for bits and bobs while the blokes did some plastering and rewiring. She must have said over a hundred times that it is my responsibility to get the house in order, cleaned and sorted out etc, She says this constantly whenever we see her and does my head in with it. Now normally if it was anyone else i would have screamed at them by now as i am not good at being told what to do and being constantly nagged but somehow i have managed to keep my calm. I'm not sure how much longer i will be able to do this though as they are thinking of coming over for A WEEK!!!!!! sometime in April to help sort the garden out.

Then to top it all she was'nt impressed that i'm not going to breastfeed! I told her why but she seems to think that it is better for there immune system etc and that because my OH was fed that way that mine should be to, well i wasnt breastfed and my immune system is pretty good i reckon.

I have tried telling her and it doesnt work, even my mum knows when to stop with me but she doesnt. They are buying the nursery set and a tumble dryer for us so i dont really want to scream at her as i know she means well but it really is doing my head in and i'm not sure i will be able to put up with her for much longer if she keeps nagging me like this also if she starts telling me what to do when the baby is here i think we will have a massive fall out


GAAAHHH!!!! What would you do?

 

[wend]

WELL tbh flame i go through the same thing with my MIL and it really pees me off but all DH says is dont let it worry you , but it does .

If we dont go down one weekend because we want to stop in she will ring to make sure we are staying in and just not spinging her a lie .

If we dont go down at xmas or when she has a bbq in the summer time she will make us feel guilty so we do end up in going down .

She NEVER and i mean NEVER comes to are house to visit we have to go there .

If she isnt the first to know about anything or we dont tell her about anything she moans saying why havent we told her .

Say we are going down her house she will ask a time and if we are not there at that time she will cry saying she thought we were in a accident and had rang all the family (so all the family are panicking).

She wants to know everything like what weve ate or where weve been .

And what makes it worse is shes booked 20 days off work around the time baby is born

I have spoke to DH loads of times about it has it gets me down because shes always cheaking on us but all he says is 'dont let it bother you i dont'.

Ive got to the point now where i dont tell DH when she pees me off but i feel as though he will never say anything to her .

I aint the only one she pees off its my SIL too

 

[Emmylou]

MIL's are all like that i'm sure......I have had plenty of tongue biting moments with mine, the best was when she came to visit on October (so 5 months before EDD) and she told me I had a lot of sorting out to do of all our struff before we were even slightly ready to have a baby around, I told her we had plenty of time, she told me I would be surprised how quickly time went....update on that.....the house was ready for when she visited mid feb for a couple of days - and she was very impressed (shocked) at how much we (I) had done!!

MILs love to think they know best, mines a nurse too so imagine!!

She has 2 weeks off from 31st march (4 days before EDD) to come live with us, of course she will only "be in the background helping with the housework and will leave us to look after baby" As if she will be able to resist saying, you don't do it like that you do it like this or, oh I'll see to her you rest

DH feels the same frustration, and in all honesty, as long as we talk to her about it we (he) can usually get her round to our way of thinking, and we have put our foot down with visiting times and said that she cannot come until we have at least had 1 or 2 nights at home alone with Libby.

She's not all bad, she has a heart of gold and its in the right place, I love her really, she just likes to be in control

 

[kirlykird]

It's a mil thing!

Mine is lovely but just toooo much, at least she's a flight away though

Mine is so traditional and old fashioned where she does everything for her husband and boys,her house is perfect and everything else has to be.

She is so loving and caring but over fussy with it... she's always asking when baby will be christened, I keep telling her he's not...asking why we aren't going to Sweden in the summer...we're not ( we've got holiday booked to france in June, Bournemouth in July and we get married in Sept!), we just don't have time! For heavens sake we're going in Oct

She's actually coming over herself in August for the wedding and she'll be here for a week the end of April, i know she means well but I don't know how I will old my cool with her over the topness wen my baby is here and all of the post labour hormones whirling!

Sorry to moan

it's def a mil thing, does this mean that we will be the same with our boys?

 

[mummykay]

my mil made me breastfeed when i didnt want to so i have ended up doing it and my boobs arent as perky as before
however i have told OH after I have the next baby im havin a boob job which she doesnt approve of but hey, if i didnt breastfeed i wouldnt need it now would i??

 

[Kat@girlracer]

I've never hated anyone more in my life then my MIL during this pregnancy lol

 

[kirlykird]

sorry posted in the wrong place

 

[cloud9]

Well..I have no advice ...things got so bad during my pregnancy with MIL we don't speak.

As fro breast feeding my DH was breast fed and has asthma I was bottle fed and don't so there are no hard fast rules its about doing whats best for you and LO.

avoidence i think is the key.

Em I would laugh if Libby were late and she had to leave when she's born

 

[Ali K]

Sounds like your chaps need to have a quiet word with them, otherwise this isn't going to stop.....for the next 20 years! They need their Mums to know that you are more than capable of making decisions and living your lives by yourselves!

Other than that, (and I'm a fine one for saying this, I hate confrontations!) perhaps you need to sit them down and explain that you appreciate their opinions.....WHEN YOU ASK FOR THEM but that you want to do this yourselves...reassure them that it's nice to know they're there IF you need them!

It's a tricky situation though, I don't envy you!

 

[Emmylou]

Em I would laugh if Libby were late and she had to leave when she's born

So would I