Breastfeeding

[firstfreakout]

I'm popping this here as this is my first pregnancy and I wanted to get other mum to be opinions.

Am I a terrible person because I really don't want to breastfeed?
The thought of it just doesn't sound like something I want to do. My bf wants me to, but I really don't. I don't feel like it's something I can cope with if I'm completely honest.

Has anyone else felt this way?
Is a formula baby really a bad thing?

 

[JulyBug]

I feel the exact same way and have decided not to breastfeed, I will be formula feeding.

I too just know I wouldn't cope very well, not to mention I have flat nipples and one is slightly inverted which I know would make it even more challenging for me..!

I know ALOT of women who have formula fed and their babies are doing just fine.

There is no reason to feel bad, you have to do what is best for you, there is nothing wrong with formula feeding.

xx

 

[snowbee]

I don't think there is anything wrong with formula feeding if you don't want to or can't breast feed.

I'm fairly clueless as this is my first too, but I'm really keen to try breast feeding, not really sure why but I would just like to give it a go. If it doesn't work out though I won't beat myself up over it.

I think going in to it with an open mind is best, you never know how you will actually feel when baby is here.

 

[Leighwiltshire]

i was all for expressing my first milk, but now im not sure anymore i think if i do it in the beginning i will be encouraged/forced to keep doing so

i am not strong enough mentally to do all the feeding myself i know i wont be able to cope on my own and i fear that it may lead to me dreading the experience and i dont want that!

i want my partner to be involved as much as i am with feeding etc and if i BF i know he wouldnt as he wouldnt do night feeds etc

 

[Blueclass]

Hi i felt the same, I hate my nipples being given touched so the thought of baby sucking on didn't do it for me. I brought bottles and all that and thought I'd try to give baby the first bit as that's meant to be good for them. Anyway I had alot of problems bf and it made me feel like I couldn't do the thing I should be able to do. I loved how she would snuggle into me and instantly be calmed and relaxed. Any ideas then felt bad giving up so after a very hard and stressful 6 weeks or so I carried on. My baby is now 8months and im still going and don't intend to stop till she is 1 at least.
It don't make you bad and don't let anyone make you feel it. All I would say is perhaps be open and give it ago as you could feel completely different.

I will say though you will save so so so so much!

 

[ClaireDoll]

I'm not going to be breastfeeding, a mix of physical difficulties, and practicality of potentially shared parental leave, and personal choice. I'm lucky in that I don't have any immediate family pressures as everyone in my family and my OH's bottle fed, but I've already had others and so called friends going on about it, maybe because they think it's too early in my pregnancy to have decided I don't know, but I get that people can go into it open minded, or determined to breastfeed, which is totally up to them and fine by me l, so why not let us have our minds made up about not doing it! I will not let anyone pressure me about it, will be taking the ready made formula bottles to the hospital with me and the midwifes will be well warned I do not want to breastfeed.

 

[Rose83]

Don't feel bad at all, happy mums are what babies need and formula really is perfectly fine! With my first child (my daughter) I was determined I wanted to breastfeed and looking back I suppose I sort of had decided formula was terrible. I had the usual 'wow this is really hard feeling' and had a breast feeding support worker out to my house twice to help me with latch and it was all going ok until I got thrush on my nipples and it went undiagnosed for weeks, in the mean time my daughter was screaming and pulling off from feeding and we were both distressed so I started expressing for her. Because I was one of the lucky people who could express relatively easily I decided I would do it full time and I expressed for 8 months - I hated the sensation of expressing so much I would sit and cry whilst doing it but I was so determined I didn't want to switch to formula. Then I got organs with my son and my milk disappeared so I had to stop. I switched to formula and she barely noticed the difference as of course she had been feeding from a bottle since the start and I realised she was fine.

My son was a different story, he took to breastfeeding straight away and I never had any problems. He would never take a bottle so even though I expressed to build up a store of milk to give him if I needed to go out and leave him or something it was never used - I literally just threw away 9 litres of frozen breast milk this week as it had got to old - heartbreaking to anyone who knows what it's like to express! But once again I got pregnant again and at 9.5months my milk disappeared and fortunately I had just managed to get him to take a bottle. He went on formula fairly easily and again it's been fine for him.

This next baby I will hope to breast feed again but of course if it didn't work I know formula would be a totally fine choice and wouldn't feel guilty at all. As someone else said my main problem with it would be cost, I've worked out that at the height of my son's feeding I would have needed at least two tubs of formula a week so estimate around £80-100 a month on formula which is a lot when you compare it with paying nothing to breast feed.

Finally just try not to let other people's opinions affect you, it's totally up to you how you feed your baby. And it's not just formula feeders that get criticism, I've had people try to pressure me into giving a bottle of formula so my partner could help, I have a breast feeding friend whose own mother asked her when she was 'going to start feeding her child properly' i.e with formula. It's madness that everyone thinks they are entitled to an opinion on how you feed - only you know what's right for you and your baby x

 

[ams25]

Absolutely not! Feed your baby however you like I formula fed my first and he's happy healthy and bright. Breastfed my second but only until 4 months as if had enough by then and wanted my normal clothes and underwired bras back. Absolutely no difference in terms of health and ability wit my 2, in fact the formula fed one is cleverer haha. The only diffeeence is the formula fed baby had colic which is why I tried more to breastfeed second time, second baby didn't. Breastfed babies can and do suffer colic aswell though so il never know if that made a difference or not. My formula fed baby slept better though haha.

I would try and do the first couple of feeds if you can Hun as the colostrum is very beneficial to babies, so even if you just manage one or two 5-min feeds then baby would get the benefit of that, but absolutely so not feel guilty or pushed into doing something if you really don't want to, it's your body! Xx

 

[firstfreakout]

Thank you for your opinions and experiences, guys! It's made me feel a little more relaxed about it all.
This is my first pregnancy, so I'm a little worried about everything so far!

 

[Blueclass]

Don't panic just try to relax. If you want to try and give the baby the first bit then great if you decide bottles straight away then that's great to. It's your baby and your body, happy mum=happy baby. Don't let anyone pressure you and if they try just tell them to mind their own business. When I said I would see what happens and if I don't like it id formula feed her one lady would not stop going on. So I said if I wanted your opinion id ask for it and I didn't so shut up. She never mentioned it again.

 

[kumber]

To put a different spin on it; I was very determined to bottle feed with DS1, I couldn't imagine having a baby on my nipple. It seemed so abnormal and made me feel so uncomfortable. As the pregnancy went on I was still really unsure and fairly reluctant.

The second I saw his face, my mind completely changed and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He was fed for 8 weeks and DS2 was 10 months.

What I'm trying to say is that how you feel now is absolutely fine as your baby will be fed, but if it does change then don't feel like a wally. It's ok to change your mind in either direction at any point during pregnancy or when your baby is here. Just be happy with your decision