Book group thread for Marisa Peer's 'Trying to get Pregnant (and Succeeding)'

[millielaura]

I love that personal email she sent you! I might message her also haha did you email or post on the site?
Ooh yes aiming to get pregnant sounds really achievable! I love the phrase 'Making a baby' as it implies it's all a process, so AF etc is just a process in making you baby and not a 'failure' like it is when you use the phrase 'trying to conceive'. Aiming to get pregnant is a great phrase though as to others making a baby may sound like youre pregnant so i think aiming to get pregnant sounds way better than telling someone that your trying to get pregnant .
But you are gonna be going from aiming to get pregnant to 'welcoming a baby/babies' very very soon! Eek!!
xxx

 

[Blueflower]

I emailed her. I will see if I can leave a review on Amazon without having to put my name on it as I still want to be private online about Baby making stuff!

 

[FBTTN8079]

Millie!!! Did I just read what I think I read in your other thread !!! Xxx

 

[kittykitchn]

I'm tempted to buy a copy... But I don't like even considering that fact that I *could* become pregnant, because if it doesn't happen, the utter devastation after will be too much for me. Over the last few months, I've tried my hardest to not even think about it unless I have to. When OH brings up anything baby related, I tell him to stop talking about it. Expectations lead to heartache. No expectations lead to nice surprises. In my head a positive attitude, hoping, praying ect will just lead to disappointment so I protect myself with negative thoughts... Sounds rubbish, eh? and can't be doing any good for me.

 

[millielaura]

That's honestly how I was so not long ago before I read this book. It really did help change my mindset. I'm still a bit wobbly but I find it helps with my anxiety and stuff too when I read it

I thought either I could be miserable expecting the worst in the tww then still being devastated when AF came or I could spend the tww thinking I was pregnant and looking at baby clothes etc and I'd still of felt the same either way when AF arrives so thought I'd rather have a little bit of ignorant bliss beforehand.
It looked like it worked for me! I was taking steroids for my asthma in the tww and read sometimes that helpssuppress the immune system to help beanies implant so may well of been that but I totally like to think it was Marissa and changing my mind set

I've applied her thinking and ideas to a lot of stuff in the last week tbh, things like work and with my anxiety about chemicals. I used to get so anxious and down for days and now I find myself being quite down for short periods of time and I feel like I'm all up and down etc but I can snap myself out of it a lot quicker just thinking positively!

I'm going to read another chapter of her book soon to help me channel positive mummy vibes

So maybe give it a go and see what you think. I read the Kindle preview first before buying it to see if I'd like it so maybe do that?

Before reading it I avoided baby aisles entirely and felt so miserable about it and like it was such an unattainable dream xxxx

 

[Blueflower]

I was always for self preservation before I read it and never thought I'd be able to make plans, you're right, if you don't get your hopes up you have less far to fall. But she teaches you that you can actually instruct your body to become pregnant. She also has interesting insights into why women in the west suffer with infertility but women in developing countries and animals just don't. It really makes sense.

Have a look at her summary on her webpage to see what you think first. It really has made me happier and whatever the outcome I would rather be happier whilst waiting!

 

[kittykitchn]

I was always for self preservation before I read it and never thought I'd be able to make plans, you're right, if you don't get your hopes up you have less far to fall. But she teaches you that you can actually instruct your body to become pregnant. She also has interesting insights into why women in the west suffer with infertility but women in developing countries and animals just don't. It really makes sense.

Have a look at her summary on her webpage to see what you think first. It really has made me happier and whatever the outcome I would rather be happier whilst waiting!

To be honest, I had a great outlook and was extremely positive for years, with still no luck. Then I found out about my PCOS. It's only been the last few months my outlook has been dire. I'm not sure about the whole teaching your body and positive thinking stuff - but each to their own, and I'm sure I will grab a copy sooner or later!

 

[Loubalouba]

Hi kitty kitchn

I was very similar to you with the protecting myself disappointment thing, I was always thinking the worst so that it would not hurt as much. I got so bad I went and had hypnotherapy to try and sort my head out as I just felt so low and desperate. She said that my constant negative thinking was causing me anxiety and that just thinking about ttc wether it was positive thinking or negative was having a negative affect because it was the association with ttc that brought me the anxiety. I know the mind is a powerful thing but thoughts are just thoughts and when you start to worry about thoughts you are having the best thing to do is just not think at all!!! If only it was that simple!! She did teach me techniques to stop thinking about it so much and to be honest it was just a relief. Now I don't predict what is going to happen, I try not to think about the negative and I do imagine myself pregnant and with a baby.

Everyone is different and copes with it differently. I have just downloaded the book and I am going to give it a read, it's good to keep an open mind I think x
I also set out with a positive relaxed attitude and if it was just down to that then it would have happened then! Science is science and actually conceiving is just not an easy thing to achieve!
It's like when people say relax it will happen when u least expect it!!! So you are saying to me it will never happen because I expect and look for it every month!! Really annoys me that one!
Anyway good luck Hun and I hope you find a way to fight through it xx

 

[millielaura]

I read it with an open mind and have really got into it. Some points I don't quite agree with fully but I do think a lot of it makes sense especially since studying the mind/body link so much at uni. Positive outlook can help cancer patients recover so makes sense it helps in making a baby too . I don't think it's 100percent mindset as there is biological things too but I certainly think it helps . Xxx

 

[millielaura]

Decided to havr my signature as making a baby since dec 2013 rather than ttc. I really do like that phrase of hers. Rather than trying and failing, making a baby sounds like a process/journey xcc

 

[Blueflower]

You are right kittykitchn, I think we all had positive outlooks to start with. The TTC section on this forum is far more hopeful than LTTTC. The book is mostly geared to unexplained infertility but a lot of it is also relevant to everyone. I hope you get some help with your PCOS soon. X

 

[FBTTN8079]

We have male factor and the book is geared a lot to unexplained but its helped me and hubby so much to be hopeful again and become really positive about it all as the process is such a journey!

I have also changed my signature now xx

 

[Blueflower]

I am getting a bit confused about whether to visualize 1,2 or 3 babies! I am aiming for 3 as Marisa suggests being as imaginative as possible is only beneficial and I know that even though I've been told the chances of triplets are less than 5%, I have to think of all of them and welcome them all! It is funny thinking of 3 of everything though like 3 high chairs and a triple pram!!

 

[millielaura]

Go for it with 3 babies
Welcome them all
So excited for you your doing so well with positive thinking!
How are you feeling? Xxx

 

[snowbee]

Omg I can't imagine having three at once! I would like three in total though

 

[Blueflower]

I just wondered if it would be confusing to tell my body I am having triplets when the consultant said it was a less than 5% chance. But I can't reject any of them on purpose!

Feeling ok, had a wobble earlier when I suddenly realised I'd agreed to see my sister and niece on testing day and wondered if it was a bad idea. My first thought was I might be too upset to see them but I quickly pushed it away and thought I will be happy instead. Its so hard because I've never had a bfp so its hard to imagine. Even though I visualize it, it wasn't my first thought when I imagined testing day in another context. I've got time to change my thinking! I might play Friday by ear though, what do you think?

 

[FBTTN8079]

sounds like your doing great hon and it is so hard to visualise those two lines of your own but be positive and think of all three snuggling in and your body will figure out the rest
we had plans with friends to see miss Saigon in London on the night we tested and even though it was tough we found it was a lovely distraction just for those few hours, but it will be harder for you keeping your bfp excitement contained as that's what you will be seeing I'm sure of it xxxxx

 

[FBTTN8079]

omg! Have you seen the D&G comments ! Disgraceful! So glad Elton john came out and said something !!!

 

[millielaura]

OMG just read about that now, how ignorant! I can't afford D&G but would defo boycott them if I could. Saying that, I did like one of their perfumes haha I defo wont be buying it now .
I just read the bit where Dolce said children should be made out of love ...

Ummm do they realise how much love people who struggle to conceive have for their child, sometimes years and years before their child is even born. IVF babies are made with more love than most! And what they said about same sex parenting is disgraceful also- there are so many straight couples out there who neglect and abuse their children. Same sex parents go through a lot to get their child and it has been wanted from day one, a lot of pregnancies aren't even wanted, so they are completely wrong. And 'synthetic' is ridiculous, they clearly know nothing of the process. I haven't had IVF yet I knew the process before I was even ttc. It's not like the baby is made by someone somehow inventing a process to make a synthetic egg and sperm out of thin air. Even if that was the case, how can a child be 'synthetic'. So ridiculous! xxx

 

[FBTTN8079]

its outrageous isn't it like you say ivf babies are even more special, not some science project! Its a miracle and so many people now have their own babies because of this amazingly clever process! I know so many older ladies that were unable to have their own children because they didn't have ivf available to them or I know one couple in their sixties who weren't able to adopt because they were over 30!!!! The designers are ignorant men who should take a look in the mirror!! X