awful situation

[jemjemjem]

I have been with my boyfriend for four years, during the relationship ship hes said things like he plans to marry me and barely two months ago he told me he wanted a child and even went as far as telling my sister that we were trying.

Two months on and im 8 weeks pregnant .... i dont know what changed in those 2 months but after getting the news he said hed be there for me what ever i decided.... I had pressumed we'd be keeping it!

I have been pregnant before and had to make the heart breaking decision of getting an abortion.... though it was painfull i felt i deserved to feel it for not standing up for myself.

He is becoming more and more distant with me, refuses to sleep with me, and is making out like he doesnt believe its his.... well thats news to me! i have a 1000% certainty its his excluding some form of divine intervention.

He said he doesnt want to support me and the baby which i guess is fair enough though he wouldnt mind been a father.... he doesnt like the fact that i will be having some down time in my third trimester and have to take additional time off to raise the newborn.

I dont believe we will last. I know I can be a good mother but my work is as a model and dancer which does not qualify for maternity leave nor will I be able to get care for the baby while i get back to work.... Hes already said he wont look after it when i need to be out.

Ive considered getting another job and have applied but they wont hire pregnant women. And you have to have been working with them for two years to get maternity leave.

Because of this I have decided to get an abortion because I want to be in a position to provide everything my child needs whether I end up alone or not... I just dont think I could bare the eternal guilt again nor the feeling of emptyness and loss. Though it may be the best option.....

He says he will come with me to my termination appointments though hes getting colder with me.... do you think he might believe that if he shows me any love Id decide to keep the child? Am I a pawn? does this child deserve to live? I know I have options but while benefits and the safety of a counsil house fit some I cant imagine myself in that situation.... I have always stood on my own two feet.

Please, I would love to hear your views and opinions on my predicament

Jemma xxx

 

[Olive]

Hi Jem,

Really sorry to hear your story. Have you got any family that would be able to help you?
I really think you need to leave your relationship. This does not sound like a man that loves you.

No one can judge you for having an abortion. You need to do what's best for you hun.

What does your family think? Have you spoken to anyone?

He would need to pay child support.

I don't know what to say, except everyone is here for you.

Hugs xxxxx

 

[jemjemjem]

I have spoken to my sister, and a few friends but im not really one to talk about my private situations and havent wanted to make him look bad incase he came around as it would scar his image amongst my peers.... I do need to talk to somebody though hes not one to have a heart to heart.

I dont know if telling my parents would help or hinder though x

 

[misscrazycooki]

Get out hunny while you still can this guy seems a bad one really sorry....

If you really feel its the right or wrong time to have or not have this child it is entirely up to you x

I think he is stupid if he is claiming it isn't his when clearing you have been together for so long. Have you not tried to talk to him to ask him why he is suddenly changing his mind about this whole baby situation....

 

[Poxie_pixie]

Hi I know it is difficult babe, i'm doing it alone, i'm unemployed, baby's dad says he wants to be there for me and baby but he has a new girlfriend and they are moving in together, btw although you don't qualify for maternity leave you can get maternity support talk to the job centre, you'll also get income support up until baby is 5 I believe. There is no shame in having a baby or accepting the help that is out there. If you want to chat PM me. =) x

 

[Olive]

I think you should speak to your parents, if you're close to them. They might be shocked, but they'll want whats best for you and will support you. Don't you worry about him, just yourself.xxxxxxx

 

[Wobbles]

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