Attachment parenting, parent and baby group

[moss]

I found an ad for a parent and baby group for people interested in "natural parenting" including breastfeeding, cloth nappies, slings, attachment parenting, home births, co-sleeping, etc. I THINK I agree with most of attachment parenting but haven't read up on it. Can anyone tell me about it- opinions welcomed!- to help me figure out if going is worth skipping a genetics class?

 

[Sherlock]

No idea. Lots of those things appeal to me and I do a fair few of them but tbh I don't really feel any great need to meet lots of other parents doing the same.

I don't feel I need validation for the way I chose to parent. So I don't want to pigeonhole myself or others by going to specific parenting groups. I just want to get on and bring up my son as I choose without it being defined as one thing or another.

I go to groups that have very mixed approaches to parenting. I don't always agree or like what I see or hear but in life you meet all sorts. And as he grows so will my son.

I hope I explained myself there

I'll be interested to hear from people who attend such groups as to if they find them good/benificial or something else.

 

[LaineyG]

It attachment parenting anything like the Continuum Concept?

If it is then it is quite extreme, if you follow it to the letter. You basically don't put your baby down for almost the first 9 months of their lives, you co-sleep, you sling them, you cook and clean and do everything with your baby. It's based on a amazonian tribe (I think) where the Mother is up and back to work the day she has her baby, so the baby must be with her.

It was quite interesting to watch on "Bringing up baby" the 18month old children that, when given a sharp knife and a vegetable, expertly cut the veg and not themselves (this comes from their observation of you in their early days).

I'm following a mixture of concepts, which basically means following my instinct!

It'd be interesting to hear what the group you go to say about it!

 

[moss]

Attachment parenting is like that, but apparently the original person/people to write about it say you don't have to follow everything to the letter and part of the point is that you go with the flow and what feels natural for you. I don't think I could even follow any one philosophy to the letter- I don't think anyone can really!

I think I might try the group. I agree that it is more interesting to mix with different types of people, but since I have moved here I have been looked at like I have two heads when I say I'm a vegetarian, or I like to walk outside (on grass) with no shoes on, or that I love animals and climbing trees, or that I don't drink and I would rather walk ten miles than drive. Maybe I will meet some like-minded people there and then I can mix in some other groups after that. If nothing else I can get some advice about which reusable nappy I should get once Jacob grows out of his!

If I go I will report back! :]

 

[beanie]

I go to LLL meetings which tend to be AP orientated. I don't think that by doing this I am pigeon holing myself. Where I live, there are no other AP parents. It can get a bit lonely being the only babywearer in town, where you get comments and stares, where no-one else I know breastfed past the age of 6 months, where I can't get all excited about the latest cloth nappy without a glazed look appearing in their eyes (my poor OH). Whereas by going to these meetings I can get support and help in my parenting choices and reassurance that what I am doing is not detrimental to my children. Its also a great advice source, Seren's tantrums were getting ridiculous and I don't have anyone else to turn to, and found some great ideas there. I am a very open minded individual and talk to anyone, no matter what their background is, or beliefs, and my children will also grow up to be the same.

In terms of what is AP, these are some good links. I can recommend the continuum concept too. The thing about AP is that you don't have to do it all, just the bits that work for you. I went back to work after Seren was born but still ap'd.

what is ap
what ap is NOT - this is from the Dr Sears website,he is big in the ap world.

 

[Squiglet]

I go to LLL meetings which tend to be AP orientated. I don't think that by doing this I am pigeon holing myself. Where I live, there are no other AP parents. It can get a bit lonely being the only babywearer in town, where you get comments and stares, where no-one else I know breastfed past the age of 6 months, where I can't get all excited about the latest cloth nappy without a glazed look appearing in their eyes (my poor OH). Whereas by going to these meetings I can get support and help in my parenting choices and reassurance that what I am doing is not detrimental to my children. Its also a great advice source, Seren's tantrums were getting ridiculous and I don't have anyone else to turn to, and found some great ideas there. I am a very open minded individual and talk to anyone, no matter what their background is, or beliefs, and my children will also grow up to be the same.

In terms of what is AP, these are some good links. I can recommend the continuum concept too. The thing about AP is that you don't have to do it all, just the bits that work for you. I went back to work after Seren was born but still ap'd.

what is ap
what ap is NOT - this is from the Dr Sears website,he is big in the ap world.

I got asked if I was too poor to by a pushchair the other day

I would probably say I am an AP parent... not a strict one as I am not a SAHM, and my work wouldn't exactly let me take my child into work with me... Also cloth nappies are impossible due to my circumstances... although I used them with Tia when she was little. Beanie has given some great link.

Tbh I think AP is also down to having a specific nature. I don't like being separated from lil miss...even for a short time. I like to have her close... of course I like to have a nice shower every now and again, but other than work I have only ever been out once since lil miss was born and it felt wrong. I just don't feel whole when shes not around. I felt the same with Tia but when Tia started going to school it became easier...well I got used to it...but I still don't like her not being near me.

 

[moss]

Thanks, beanie. Can you recommend a book about attachment parenting? From the links you gave it almost seems against their philosophy to read a parenting book, but I like reading and thought the websites were interesting.

 

[beanie]

I got asked if I was too poor to by a pushchair the other day

I would probably say I am an AP parent... not a strict one as I am not a SAHM, and my work wouldn't exactly let me take my child into work with me... Also cloth nappies are impossible due to my circumstances... although I used them with Tia when she was little. Beanie has given some great link.

Tbh I think AP is also down to having a specific nature. I don't like being separated from lil miss...even for a short time. I like to have her close... of course I like to have a nice shower every now and again, but other than work I have only ever been out once since lil miss was born and it felt wrong. I just don't feel whole when shes not around. I felt the same with Tia but when Tia started going to school it became easier...well I got used to it...but I still don't like her not being near me.

oh god that comment I got asked why I wore a table cloth the other day, I was like "do you know how much this cost me!!!"

I agree with the nature thing. I went to work for 2 hours the other day and felt like my left arm was missing.

Moss, anything by Dr Sears is a good start - esp this one

 

[moss]

Squiglet I am realising more and more that I feel that way, too. I was so stressed out for a lot of the time when my mother left and my husband went back to work because I had read everywhere that I should teach my baby to sleep alone whether he wants to or not and to try to get him in a routine as soon as possible. When I decided not to follow that advice and just trust myself, my stress levels dropped and Jacob only really cries now when he needs to. I can read what he needs a lot more and we have a lot more fun together. I don't like being apart from him either, which is what my other post in the routines section, about not knowing what to do now with my life is about.

Also, when we started using the carrier we seemed to be the only ones. We always get funny looks and awws and some stupid teenager said "Nice breast... for a gay!" to my husband recently and then muttered "Oh it's a baby," haha... We have seen a couple other baby wearers recently. I still use a pram sometimes because although my carrier is very comfortable, my back and shoulder problems mean that I can't carry anything else when I have Jacob.