Arrrrghhhh

[Dragonfly Fi]

My BLOODY mother!

I wanted to go for a nice walk around a lovely park near to my home and then on down through the cathedral and into town. Of course that isn't exactly to the letter how exactly mother wants things to be done so after saying 'Oh i thought we could walk the long way into town, make it a bit of a nicer/longer journey' we then leave the house (after shes asked me where we are walking) and i turn to go the route i would like to go

'erm where are YOU going'

'i'm going down here mum, taking a stroll into town'

'we need to go under that bridge dont we'

well actually, under the bridge is the quickest way into town, but there is no river, no nature, no trees etc, just a bloody pavement for 3 mins and then, town. I wanted to go around the parks and in, so it would have been maybe a 15min walk (past a swing set for the baby) and then into town, its a really lovely walk

'well where are we going that way (getting really adgitated) whats going on'

'i just thought we could walk through the park, its okay its a nice way to go'

'well where are we going to cross the road, what park, i NEED to know where we are going'

well actually there are (of course) safe places to cross the road, safe ways around and what not but actually, i am not up for being screamed at in the middle of the street today by my crazed fucking mother who cannot just reliquish control FOR A SECOND so that we can go on a nice walk around an area near my home. Actually more than that, i only moved in here last tuesday (yes house move on tuesday, still birth on Friday) and i dont know exactly to the minute detail where exactly every crossing and paving and what not is located. I just fancied a nice walk with my son.

so i said

'look shall we just go under the bridge, will that be easier for you?'

'What IS WRONG WITH YOU, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS GOING ON'

'erm, i have three times'

'NO YOU HAVENT' (she was actually screaming at me in the street)

so i turn to walk the other way (into town quickly, the way she is clearly comfortable with) and she starts screaming at me more

'I AM NOT WALKING WITH YOU WHILE YOU ARE BEHAVING LIKE THIS'

while i'm behaving like what? Dragging myself out of bed a WEEK after being told my baby is dead, putting on some bright clothes and DARING to go out for a little walk through a park

what a fucking bitch i must be.

so i just told her i couldnt be bothered, was NOT going to argue with her and got my door keys and came back in the house. Shes taken Jasper my son. So i am here now, totally alone with all this shite going round and round in my head and you know what. the SECOND that woman walks through the door i am going to walk out of it. I cannot be fucking arsed with her today. Fuck her.

 

[Mamafy]

totally know where you're coming from hun

Someday I'll tell you all of when my lost my wee man and how my mum made me homeless at the same time :/

F eff hun xxx

 

[Hope81]

Oh dear.....when she comes back, take your LO and go alone a walk with it to both relax, maybe some shopping or a relaxing coffee downtown?
Is she leaving with your family or close to your home? Do you see her daily? What a stress that is. I can't imagine my mum behaving like that.
maybe you try to talk to her?

 

[netty]

argh poor you hunny. I wish i could give you a big hug x

 

[dyscochick]

OMG how horribly stressful, she should be so supportive of you getting out and about. I didn't realise you had moved as well last week, yet another weight to an incredible burden. It really sounds like you should just to what you want to do with your LO when they get back ARGH parents! She sounds like hard work!

I thought i was doing well with mine, have a pretty good relationship, til i started planning my wedding. Spent most of yesterday ranting or in tears over something so bl**dy studpid that my Dad just wouldn't let go of. Why do they do it to us????

 

[netty]

my mum is always ok i am lucky in that respect but my OH's mum is CRAZY, she slags me off all the time when i was pregnant she told his brother girlfriend i would have an ugly baby and i wouldnt be able to cope not thinking we are friends and actually speak. Shes been ok since MC but first time i spoke to her she asked me why i was taking time off work and why it all took so long.......i said its not like I just went to the loo and oh...had a miscarriage jeeez? i dont even bother with her normally we had a nice walk yesterday but she only wanted to slag her husband off to me

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I sat with some friends out in town for a couple of hours and then came home, mum seems to have mellowed. She lives in Australia, so she is here til Saturday and then off for about six months. I should make the most of it but shes driving me insane.

Anyway i have just got back, Jasper is really quite unwell. Threw up on me and is now a bit crap and listless. Think he is coming down with something

i can't handle it, just the thought that it might be something bad and then i will loose him too

fucking terrified.

have phone NHS direct... they are calling back with in the hour

 

[netty]

awww i am sure he has just picked up some yucky bug like kids do. Let us know if he is ok hun x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I think hes okay... me just stressing out (as you would)

 

[netty]

i think i would be the same mate, did seeing your friends cheer you up a bit?

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

yep and insisited we go and get pissed in the park. I declined

 

[netty]

Lol I had some wine with my friend last night and after 2 glasses i was pissed. Made me a bit chirpier though, i would have totally taken up the offer of going to a lovely park and getting pissed.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

yeah but i can't just TOTALLY abandon mum and then roll in drunk lol

anyway i am seeing all of them later at the pub so they will just have to wait until then (and trust me, i intend on getting pissed then)

i am glad i came back coz Jasper is really not right bless him xx

 

[netty]

aww bless him, have a good one later you certainly deserve it hun

 

[purplehippy]

I've had 2 glasses of wine a night all week, to make me sleepy enough to sleep. It's actually worked...

Is she always that neurotic, BigBump? Is she reacting that way to deal with how she probably feels about your loss? She's lost her grandchild. Grief strikes in a variety of ways.

Good on you for getting out - I didn't do much for a while after mine. Had a huge breakdown, in fact. You're being so strong, wish I had been as strong.

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

i appreciate shes being crazy because shes lost a grandchild, i totally understand that. However, I am NOT the fucking scapegoat for HER feelings, regardless of how shite she feels about this, I lost MY child and i dont see why i am being expected to make so many allowances for her when actually she is not prepared to make any for me. Would it have been so hard to just fucking walk in the park? Considering it would have been keeping the peace etc (in her own head might i add, not mine) No she CANNOT do that, she HAS to freak out/stress out/shout at me and i just cannot deal with it right now.

i am sorry she is grieving but so am I and being offered little to no support in MY grieving process actually.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

sorry that sounds like i am upset with you and i am not... just stressed out about her tbh xxxx

 

[netty]

i got offered counselling with a 6-8 week wait for it? whats the point in that?!

I know everyone grieves dfifernetly but my mum was so supportive with me no matter how off and angry i was getting, she should have a little more patience so it sounds. Thats the last thing you need you own mother driving you up the wall

 

[DaisyPurple]

I wish I lived nearer, is come round to yours and tell your mum to stop stressing you out, then we could sit and chat about how shit our mums are and hoe much better we are going to be as mums ourselves, you need a lot of care right now, I'm glad you are able to vent here on the forum, at least its an outlet,

Mamafy, I'm so sad to hear you have had troubles in your life too xx xx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Liam calls her 'The Smother In Law'