Anyone NOT going to have the baby in their room?

[Redshoes]

I think getting LO used to a cot is great, as they will always sleep with you anyways, usually, but another room is a bit too soon for me.

LOL Wendy, I cried and cried for some 'Dorothy' shoes as a child apparently, Clarks too, I had good taste back then hehe so I sometimes get called redshoes hehe

 

[X5OT]

WOW! Thanks for all the replies so far I really appreciate everyone's opinions, especially as this is our first baby so don't have any personal experience to call on!

Will let you know what we decide to do in the end, but my gut feeling is that the baby goes in its own room from day 1.

 

[X5OT]

Not going to enter into any arguments here, but for what it's worth I thought Josephine_Beth was being absolutely serious as well - but only coz if I write something I don't really mean, I usually put a after it ! There is no way I want my hubby awake half the night, then having to work hard the next day, especially when I can probably take naps during the day. He travels abroad quite a bit with work, often getting picked up at 4 /5am and not back until late at night (and he insists on coming back the same night so he is home with me, even though I always tell him to stay over), so although I know he will do whatever I ask of him (he has been a total star during my pregnancy, doing most of the shopping, cooking, etc), it's my decision that he has as uniterrupted a night's sleep as possible. I have suggested, when I start expressing (if that works!), that he will do one night, say a Friday or Saturday, so I don't have to get up - but that won't be for a good 6 weeks I guess.

I don't feel any bitterness about this at all - we both have careers which we love, and I know he would do the same for me if it were the other way around and I was the one going to work every day

 

[frangelle]

Baby is definately going in our room.

Sod the OH, I am the one sorting out our 5 year old etc while he is at work. We get up at the same time, and mornings are gonna be stressful enough what with a baby and getting little man to school, without me being knackered, so I don't give a sh*t if he loses sleep, lol!

 

[kitty86]

I am having this one in my room at first because he doesn't have a room by himself so I dont see the point in having him disturbing Leah then me having 2 babies to get back to sleep.

I had Leah in my room till she was about 3months but mostly for lazy reasons I didnt want to get out of bed walk to the nursery and then sort her out then go beack to bed. Luckily by the time Leah was 3month old she slept from about 12 till 7am.

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Ladies!

Why feel for your fellas? It's not like they've carried your baby 9 months, the sickness, pains, discomfort, cravings, lack of sleep..........I for one will be smurking when our LO wakes up daddy too

Or am I being a cow?

Oh no, I've already got this planned! We live at the top of the steepest hill in the WORLD so for the next few years, he'll have to do all the pushing up the hill with the pram! Actually he's started pushing me up the hill and is soon going to have to roll me up.

I take it you live in Barnstable? or the town next to it, is it something combe? ANyhow, they have a MASSIVE hill , practically vertical and hard to walk up on the best of days

As for my last comments - sorry, didn;t mean to start a flame throwing debate!

But wendy has a very valid point! My hubby told me out right I'd be the one getting up at night to feed bubs..............change him............stop your horses mr!

Yes my hubby works, works bloody hard but he needs to put a hand in, if anything, for bonding! I'll be home all day, on my own, looking after bubs, cleaning and cooking. Unfortunately none of us have any family or help, so it's just us too and I know it will be hard times. But I'd like my hubby to help out. i am not going back to my job I do now, after baby is born, I work on commission and I work my arse off, there is not stable income from me but we are 50/50 in paying rent and such. I will go back part time, hubby wants me to stay home aslong as I can, without killing anyone

So, we came to an agreement, hubby comes home, has shower, food, sleep and then when waking, he will feed bubs (if this fits in with bubs times) and put him to bed and possibly bath bubs to a few times a week. Now, at weekends, he has come round to saying he will try his best to wake and feed bubs at night.

I never will force him to do things but with his culture, it's the woman who does everything in the house and with the baby. I wasn;t ready to settle for this, slowly things have changed, I've stood my ground and I think he sees that it's an easy life, just to agree or comprimise lol

I know to some this may sound like I am a right cow but I come from a home that you are equal and it's not just one person who does everything. Yes, I am going to be a mum but he is going to be a father to and if our child is going to be strong, dependant and friendly, he needs to learn from both of us.

 

[nathanmum]

i had nathan in my room for months and i will with this baby. i can remember reading that the reason cotdeath is reduced by sharing the room with your baby is because it listens to your breathing and learns how to regulate theirs??? dont know how true it is but i thought it was interesting.
OH snores like mad and has sleep apnea so dont know if the baby wants to listen to that.
its a personal thing.
as for the whole letting OH sleep i agree i try not to let him be disturbed if hes got to get up early. he drives alot and i dont want him to be knackered. and it works both ways, if i am working an early and nathan is up in the night i expect OH to deal with it cos i need to sleep so i can function at work.

 

[Stella_25]

Well I'm having our baby in our room untill I feel comfortable... and I Do expect My OH to help me in th evenings we made this baby together so we will look after her together ... he does work during the day and so do I looking after our other Daughter, and cooking cleaning and washing... so it is 50/50

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I coulnt imagine not having imogen with me in my room, she is so easy to deal with and its lovely watching her sleep peacefully.
I would worry to about her breathing etc if she was with stephen, but shes still feeding 3 times a night so i couldnt put her elsewhere anyway.

For me personally babies are better with their parents the first few months, but that is my opinon only and im not swhoving it down your throat.

 

I think it's great how this has gone from being a thread about whether to have your newborn in your room to a debate about the division (of baby care and running of the household) between the sexes

Yes, Midna, I am often sarcastic and also love to play 'Devil's Advocate' but not just for the sake of it, often to come to the side of a person who has been squeezed into an unintended minority view by something they've said. In this case, Josephine-Beth inadvertently made an innocent comment about how she didn't care if her husband was woken up and, fair play to her, I still say. I think hers is a good point, but I was only inclined to defend that view so strongly when it seemed (to me) like other people opined so vehemently against what was a personal - and playful - statement. But 'I'm a lover, not a fighter'

Obviously, no-one is "right" or "wrong" here. Each of us has an opinion on how we manage our own family and that's as it should be.

It's all too easy to type something out that makes you seem obstinate and your opinion rather biased or overbearing (myself included!), so I'm glad that this thread has made us more aware that sometimes our tone can be misinterpreted. Luckily, we have such a variety of emoticons on here!

I hope we've all calmed down and can be friends again. Peace!

Oh BTW, I only became friendly with Midna in the first place because she p*ssed me off! sometimes it's good to be confronted with a view that doesn't correspond with your own. At first you might not like it, but if it forces you to stop and think, then (I believe) that has to be a good thing, even if you ultimately still disagree, at least another person has given you some feedback. It's great how we can share our views on here. That's what "real" relationships are about - even arguing at times. I'm glad that all of you are here (and I'm not excluding you in that, lisa&alex - I wasn't having a go at you specifically earlier)

xxxx

 

[Jendon]

Whilst I am off on maternity leave I will be feeding baby - I plan to breast feed anyway so will be pretty difficult for OH to do it. However, whether LO is in our room or in his own room the OH will suffer some kind of disturbance when I am getting in and out of bed. From previous experience it is easy to say that you can rest during the day when LO is asleep but I found that there was always something that needed doing - washing, ironing, hoovering etc. So really you will be working just as hard as the OH.

Unfortunately for my OH he has to work if we want to keep a roof over our heads - just the way it is. I am the main wage earner (he is a self employed plasterer so income is not guaranteed if he doesnt get work) so I can only afford to have 3 to 4 months off work and i know that that time is not going to be restful as such.

My OH is so supportive and I am so lucky. We just have this little deal that whilst I am not physically in work I will be the one to get up which is fair enough in my opinion but unfortunately for him babies cry and he will be woken anyway.

 

[lisa&alex]

(and I'm not excluding you in that, lisa&alex - I wasn't having a go at you specifically earlier)

just wondered, because some people thought that you were due to what i had said about jim sherking his responsibilities in his post. and me saying children need both parents.

 

[lisa&alex]

one contributer's views on here about single mothers (as she's already so kindly told us) and I just hope that she doesn't find herself in that position herself one day....

specifically this.

 

lisa&alex wrote:

some people thought that you were due to what i had said about jim sherking his responsibilities

Sorry, I don't understand this quote (is it to me?).

Who thought I was doing what?

And

What did you say about Jim shirking his responsibilities?

 

[lisa&alex]

one contributer's views on here about single mothers (as she's already so kindly told us) and I just hope that she doesn't find herself in that position herself one day....

were you talking about me in this quote.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

its all getting a bit MEOW in here, all over a simple question

 

[frangelle]

its all getting a bit MEOW in here, all over a simple question

Haha welcome back

 

[X5OT]

Hey everyone! I didn't want to start any arguments in here - I just wondered what the rest of you were planning on doing

Just want to say thank you for all the relevant replies so far

 

[lisa&alex]

whos arguing? i just want to know if she was refuring to me..keep ur knickers on ladies.

 

Yes, I'd agree with you all. Perhaps a moderator might want to lock this post from now on?
xxx