Any other single mums?

[Suzie86]

Sorry in advance if this turns into a massive rant! My patrner and i split up today and to be honest i just feel so empty, hormonal and angry. Things haven't been right for a while and now i'll have to give up work cus he's chucking me out of the house, i know how lovely eh? My folks are fine with me going back but tgat's in Brum and the job and where i live are in Staffs. Just dont know how i'm going to do it all, i love my folks to bits and theyre amazing i just never expected to be living with them again, but oh well. Just have to hope the drs back home take me back on the books and i spose i should just focus on what matters but it's just so hard. Has anyone got any tips about going it alone? Sorry for ranting and thanks for reading

 

[cosmicgirl]

First of all try and stay calm for your baby, sorry this has happened hun. Me and my oh split when I was 4mo pregnant with my twins. You may get back together, you may not, but one thing I can promise is that you can do it (with or without oh). Stay strong and do what is right for you and baby. Take support when it is offered. Take care xxx

 

[pinkymum]

I agree with cosmicgirl! You can defo do it! I'm pregnant and will be a single mum through choice, yes I chose to be a single mum lol. A break up is tough so look after yourself. There is quite a few single mums on here who do a great job!

*hugs*

x

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I'm not a single mum but my partner works away 5 days a week so he's only here for 2 days and I have to admit I get more stressed when he's around than when I'm on my own looking after our 2 kids. Everytime 1 of the children does something new I think it's because of me and that makes me so proud!
Your be fine on your own, I find it alot easier! x x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

massive hun! i'm a single mum too, left my ex days before my eldest's 1st birthday and i was 36 weeks pregnant! it was hard at first, i think more due to the emotions of it all, but like LM says its easier! i can do what i like, noone questioning anything and you know you've only got yourself to rely on! there's no expecting someone to help you out and them not do it! you can do this hun

 

[Elfs Mummy]

im a single Mummy to my lo and i love it i get all the cuddles and know that im bringing her up the best i can. Accept any help your offered don't struggle alone and theres lots of us out there who will offer advice and support xx

 

[Suzie86]

Thanks everyone , has made me feel a bit better! Just i know how hard it is bringing up a kid with 2 parents if my nephews anything to go by, but at least i'll have 2 live in babysitters and the hard work will all be worth it. Just seems like all my dreams and plans have gone but things happen for a reason and hopefully my knight in shining armour will come along at some point in the future. I'll just have to not be as stubborn and accept help and just focus on me and my son . Thanks again!

 

[TeenMum17]

im going to be a single mum aswell hunny so i understand what your going through. I have to stay with mum even thought i wanted to move out thats now impossible with baby. Im only 17 and without her support i dont think i could get through this on my own. The dad just sent me a message today and i quote "i really dont care anymore. just tell me when its out" charming sod! after weeks and weeks of begging me to get an abortion. disgusting.

Just remember to stay strong for you and the baby as thats all that matters now xx

 

[Suzie86]

Ah men eh? Fuck them as my mum said . Least we'll be able to do everything how we want and wont have to answer to anyone else!

 

[mumofmany]

i am not single parent anymore but i was to my eldest 2 and as daft as it sounds sometimes i miss it. dont get me wrong its nice to have the support off someone, but do you know what i really miss, the way that the kids did everything for me, it was me they smiled and laughed with, it was me they ran to when they hurt themselves, it was me they ran to when they were happy with something they did. basically i was theirall and i loved it, but oh no not now its daddy they run to, when they want something its daddy they ask, when they want cuddles its daddy again, and thats even my eldest 2 who my husband has takenon or should i say they took him on, they were 4 and 6 when we met they are now 14 and 12 so they dont really rememeber it being just he 3 of us but i do.

 

[purplehippy]

I was a single mum for a year, my (must get round to the divorce.....) 'ex' husband left 2 months after my daughter's 1st birthday.

Some mistakes I made were:

* not realising the child tax credits were going into his bank account

* being told by the job centre that I was elligible for incapacity benefit for my depression and fibro etc, but I never got any payments and didn't realise so I lost out there

* not asking for more help where it was needed

And I don't remember much else, thanks to the breakdown I had (hub left because we became pregnant again and he hadn't wanted one, let alone some, and didn't love me, and couldn't cope anymore - then that xmas I lost my baby and it was the last straw on the camel's back, so I just lost it over a number of months).

I do miss being the one in charge of her food, activities, tucking her in every night - the reason I don't do these things is I had to ask him to take her and be a single dad while I got help and he decided he likes having her fulltime. But my current partner and I are expecting end of may/beginning of june, and it's irritating having to decide everything for the baby, with someone else! But i honestly don't know how I'd cope on my own again, I've no friends in Wales.

Make sure you apply for any maternity grants for equipment etc, healthy start vouchers will be available when yer claiming from the jobcentre and have your tax credits coming in and blah... Healthy start voucher forms are got through yer health visitor/midwife. When baby's born, there will be child benefit. Being on benefit sucks, imho, but without it, you go without - bigtime. So apply for everything you might be eligible for!

Good luck, it's not the end of the world, I've got single friends in the UK who are doing it alone and doing brilliantly

(and to the mum who posted what her ex has said re the baby being 'out', what a prick, better off without him, hun!)

 

[Suzie86]

Ah thanks! When i get re registered with a midwife by my folks I'll ask her about that stuff and have a good look on the dwp for any more info on things to claim for. It's not ideal but it's better than going without!

 

[tabbi]

Sorry in advance if this turns into a massive rant! My patrner and i split up today and to be honest i just feel so empty, hormonal and angry. Things haven't been right for a while and now i'll have to give up work cus he's chucking me out of the house, i know how lovely eh? My folks are fine with me going back but tgat's in Brum and the job and where i live are in Staffs. Just dont know how i'm going to do it all, i love my folks to bits and theyre amazing i just never expected to be living with them again, but oh well. Just have to hope the drs back home take me back on the books and i spose i should just focus on what matters but it's just so hard. Has anyone got any tips about going it alone? Sorry for ranting and thanks for reading

What suzie also fails to meantion is she dumped her partner in november 2010 on the 27th and how i know this is because i saw the text he lived with me because he didnt want to go back to arguing but i bet you wouldn't turn around and tell your otherhalf's 'oh consider yourself single, by the way when i get bk to brum am looking into an abortion'. she did this from the day she found out she was pregnant and before.
he'd had enough me and him got together in the december and he didnt tell her til she was ready tell her family they werent together anymore which never happened, he still paid the rent and bills also went to all the scans even gave her 2000 for her to get all the baby stuff.
he never kicked her out she came in his house where we were cleaning out her aniamls saw me then ran upstairs if she had stopped to ask what was going on she would of known but no. when she went upstairs he went to speak to her but she wudnt open the door. 2 days later we went back to get post and she had moved out he never kicked her out she never paid rent.
she is a liar who even after everything she put him through wanted be there to support her and baby, he even brought baby tsuff which she has refused to accept just before. we even have an account set up for him with money going in weekly.
she refuses to expect her son may have a half brother as it turns out she cheated on him with 7 other blokes all asking for dna tests. so for her to say stuff like this is doing my nut in as i am pregnant and due in june this year.
she is a bad mother for not letting him have anything to do with her son or prove he is the dad its a joke.

 

[Belle23]

I'm so confused. So is she pregnant or not??? U said something about 2010 but if she's pregnant now surely that must mean they have slept together. Hey I'm also due in June. What's ur date??? Obviously I don't think there should be a massive rant but I do think we should know what's true xxxx

 

[KirstyL]

This thread was opened in 2011, 'tabbi' reopened it over a year later. this is all old, surely it should stay in the past, rather than raking up old ground.x


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[Belle23]

Haha I'm so thick just saw 16th of feb didnt even look at the year hehe.
Yeh leave it all in the past surely issues should all be over by now xxx

 

[tabbi]

I'm so confused. So is she pregnant or not??? U said something about 2010 but if she's pregnant now surely that must mean they have slept together. Hey I'm also due in June. What's ur date??? Obviously I don't think there should be a massive rant but I do think we should know what's true xxxx

cheers i agree, she had a boy called samuel, it turns out there are a few blokes who could be the dad. i am due on 8th june what about you?
i agree she shouldnt rant that much i just that fed up with her trying ruin my life. x x x

 

[Jayjay027]

Its a bit random coming on here a year later and ranting about her out of the blue.

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[Belle23]

Agreed very random. Leave the thread in the past and enjoy ur pregnancy. I'm due 20th of June so not much difference. What team are u on or are u staying yellow??? Xxxx

 

[tabbi]

am playing for the blue team hun what about you and sounds like its going to be close between us lol x