And then there were 2 :)

[deedee84]

He;s going to ring wages up on Monday as when his wage slip has come they have only paid him £200 ssp for the month, plus she said last months wages were down because they had took deductions off of it (he had had all his holidays before he had accrued them plus they paid him 2 weeks wages in good will when he first went onto monthly pay) but last month he hadnt even put his notice in so for me they cant make deductions unless 1. they tell him they are going to do that and 2. i thought they did that on your last ever wage! So looks like getting all the info we need and seeing a Solicitor because i'm sure he was entitled to paternity pay as well! They have blatantly taken the piss and i'm fed up of been out of pocket by them, apparently by law they should put your hours on your wage slip and they havent! i'm fuming with them! On a good note, OH rung housing benefits as we have had one measly payment of £185 and no letter or anything to say how much we're entitled to and how often so he rung them and they have messed up majorly, the lady that dealt with our claim had put we pay £115 rent every month so they owe us quite a bit and because OH fibbed and said we havent been able to pay the rent she couldnt apologize enough and said we will get a payment plus all that they owe us next saturday so at least i can calm myself down now!
As for the sky, its not normally that much, its because we couldnt pay last months bill and because i have changed this months payment date so thats why its so high! Get rid of sky pfft OH wouldnt hear of it haha!!

As for the Lexmeister..jeeze wish she would flick back into the routine we had not so long ago, she seems to get poorly and then she out of sorts again! So we went up to bed at 10:25pm and missus woke for her first feed at 12:35am, then she woke at 2:45am and at 3:10am she woke screaming, it took me forever to calm her down, in fact she ended up in her moses basket in our room she was asleep by 3:25am, she then woke for a feed at 5am, 6am and lastly 7:45am when we got up...thought i'd try for a lie in haha! Just wish she was only waking 2-3 times a night like she was before, it was lovely when she was going every 3 hours!

Got a kids party to attend this aft, its fancy dress, so Elise is going as tinkerbell and she cant wait 12-4 jeeze i'm gonna have a mega headache after spending 4 hours with screaming children lol!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

It doesn't sound right the way they aren't putting on his slip what they have been doing. If you qualify for income based benefits there is a free legal service to call , if you type in legal aid into google you should be able to track it down and check your house insurance , it often has a free legal helpline for any enquiry not just home related so that might be free to.

Lexi was up a lot last night. I dont know how you have done it getting so little sleep for so long. I'd be a very grumpy girl by now.

Im so glad that your housing benefit will be sorted , they are totally incompetent and have to be chased all the time. I discovered that you can ring for free from the job centre - they always keep you on hold so long that my credit runs out and so now i go into the jobcentre and phone from there.

Hope you have a lovely weekend
x Daisy

 

[Spammy]

That's a relief about your housing benefit honey. Your having such a hard time of it at the minute I'm sorry. Your kids have so much love though and that's more important than anything material you can give them. Things will pick up and you will look back and think 'how ok earth did we get through that!'

Loads of love x

 

[deedee84]

Thanks Ladies

Daisy...i am a grumpy girl most of the time haha, just kidding, my OH actually said how amazed he is with me having to deal with so much, lack of sleep, his illness, lack of money and all the stress of that and i'm kinda just chilled out about it all, i have the odd day where i sit and cry and think OMG how are we going to live we're really in the shit but then i pick myself up and get on with it!

Spammy...it has been hard, it doesnt help at the mo as Elise seems to be having such a bad spell with behaviour, i think its worsened since Lexi arrived even though she loves her sister so much, she dotes on the little lady but pushes the boundaries with me far too much lately, she speaks to me like crap, i ask her to do something she shouts at me and gives all the attitude, the HV is coming out on the 3rd to speak about my well being and Elises behaviour, she did say to ignore her but tbh, some of her behaviour cant be ignored, i'd go insane if i ignored for instance her sat kicking the back of the sofa screaming at us, in those circumstances i just pick her up and put her in her room until she has calmed down!
I'm sure someday soon though we will look back on this crap spell in our lives and think wow, how bad was that lol! This is the worst we have ever been, i think people think when we say were skint they mean their kind of skint where they have £50 to their name for the week or something...our skint is having not one single penny...not even the bronze type haha!

Last night Lexi woke again screaming, this time it was downstairs before i had taken us to bed, she was so hard to settle, i'm not sure if its pain related, dream related or what, i thought a small spoon of calpol wouldnt hurt regardless! We went to bed at 10:30pm and she woke for her first feed at 1:25am then 3:30am, 4am, 6:20am, 7:30am and then fully woke laughing to herself and chatting away at 7:55am! Seen as though she is back in full health, i'm going back to making her go 2 hourly between feeds, she seemed to sleep a lot better when we were doing that and fingers crossed we dont get any more coughs and colds for a while now, well until we have established a routine of every 2 hours without us having to pacify her and her wanting the feed for herself!

We had the kids party yesterday, Elise loved it and was off playing with all her friends (for once) i on the other hand had no other adult to talk to and was bored shitless lol! Lexi enjoyed her self though! I was a little disappointed at how many people had not even made an effort to send their kids in fancy dress, there were basically a hand full that were dressed up, Lexi being one! Here's a few pictures of the girls ready for the party and some recent ones of Lexi too

 

[Spammy]

Beautiful honey. Elise is so pretty. And the one of lexi in he outfit is mega cute!!!

You are doing amazing coping with it all. Every rough patch in my life I have just got on with then it's not until after I stop and look back and think 'goodness that was hard!' Think us women are made of strong stuff.

Maybe in some ways Elise is picking up on a bit of stress and she's reacting to that? Might not be, kids are little nightmares at times so it might just be her pushing the boundaries as you said. But I think your right that you can't always ignore it.

Hope you have a good day Hun xx

 

[deedee84]

Aww thanks...you would think butter wouldnt melt looking at elise wouldnt you haha! Elise started with the behaviour way before all the stresses and strains appeared i think in some ways it probably makes her worse when i'm snappy and OH is having a bad day because were worrying how to live etc but i dont think its all entirely down to that, in some ways shes used to getting what she wants, like sweets after school and some days we literally havent had any money to do that, so yeah i think its hard on her too!

i totally agree that us women are made of strong stuff, even OH has said he couldnt deal with all that i deal with, he says i'm the stronger one...which makes me feel happy hehe, its nice when they admit us women are the stronger species

Hope you have a good day too hun lazy sunday yippee...think i might have t stay in the PJ's and veg out with a nice roast followed by lots of munchies today thats how i roll on a sunday...quite literally sometimes with all the food i eat

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

I love the photos, Lexis outfit is so cute I wish i had stripey leggings like that! and Elise looks lovely in such a gorgeous green dress and wings. I cant believe that folks don't bother with fancy dress its all part o the fun of a party like that. However there's no accounting for a morning of tantrums and various disasters before they arrive.

Mind you i'm that person that turns up as a pod of peas or inside a cardboard box as a robot when everyone else is wearing "sexy angel" type outfits. I obviously get overexcited and then sit in a corner muttering to myself about how i thought it was a good costume and hope that one day my mr right will show himself dressed as a teapot or a greenhouse or something --- never happens they all much prefer the sexy angels, devils, cats, fairies. and sad robot goes home .

Hope you have a some lovely xmassy things to do today.
x Daisy

 

[Spammy]

Ha ha daisy that made me chuckle xxx

 

[deedee84]

Lol Daisy, there's nothing wrong with pea pods and robots! I cant say anything, the only fancy dress i've been out in is for halloween and i've done quite a few of those...its all good fun! I'm sure your Mr Right will wonder into a fun packed fancy dress party one day wearing a crazy outfit...a carrot maybe...or a potato aww that would be fab, would remind me like something off miranda or something hehe! Fingers crossed hey Daisy!

Had another scream fest off Lexi again last night, this time at about 8:15pm, she had nodded off quite early last night, just after 7pm so in a way i'm glad her sleep got disturbed as thats way too early for her she'd be up at 4am if she had of slept! She finally went to sleep at 9:20pm and we went up to bed at 10pm, she woke up at 10:15 upset and had a small amount of milk before nodding back off, she then woke at 12:15am then went a while then until 3:40am nearly 3 and a half hours lovely, then she woke at 5:35am and lastly 6am wide awake and raring to go! So as per we're up before the rest of the house watching special agent Oso Does seem though that when i make her go 2 hours between feeds she does sleep better, ok so it wasnt perfect and wasnt just the 2 times like before but at least we had a 3 and a half hour stint which is what i like! i feel like i have actually caught some sleep that way!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Its odd isnt it the early evening screaming. What do you think it is? Is it just her being tired and ready for bed but fighting it. Is she teething a bit? Fingers crossed that longer betweeen feeds will help you all get more sleep.

Hoping for mr right dressed as a potato
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

I'm not entirely sure whats causing it Daisy as shes asleep before she starts crying, its like shes crying in her sleep but then cries for real and doesnt settle unless i give her some calpol, i'm thinking teeth maybe as she is teething and dribbling like theres no tomorrow, had to change her pyjama top last night as it was saturated from the constant raspberry blowing and drooling!

We didnt have such a good night with her either, i'm bloody knackered this morning! We went up to bed at 10:40pm and she woke for her first feed at 12am, then at 2:35am, 3:45am, 4:15am she woke crying, so she ended up in my room and she was waking every 20-30 minutes crying, she had a feed at 5:50am and we ended up getting at 6am as she just wasnt settling, so basically from just after 4am i have been awake and dont i know it, grumpy as sin and needing matchsticks!
This afternoon i am going to have a very long hot soak in a nice full bubble bath then catch up on some sleep if OH permits, cant see why not...he gets all the sleep he needs...in fact he can bloody well do the night feeds tonight, i'm having a sodding break from it! Though 2 hourly feeds would work in my favour all of the time, seems some of the time we're still going to have tough nights!

I am such a geek too went into asda yesterday and had a browse at the clothes aisle for Elise and OMG they have certain outfits in size 9-12 months which will sooooo fit Lexi, so for Christmas they are gonna get the same outfit to wear boxing day or new year depending on what we're doing on what day...they are gonna look so cute

Also Lexi has been standing on her own, ok so she has been using my arm or the sofa as a steady me but she can still hold her own weight for a good minute at a time before her little legs buckle dont think she's fussed about rolling, shes gonna go straight to walking is my moo haha! Ok so we might do crawling first as she does shove her bum in the air when shes on her tummy and moves her legs back and forth but her face is firmly shoved into the sofa while trying out this new process...at least shes got half the technique right

xx

 

[deedee84]

Had a nice knock at the door yesterday, the council issuing me and Jamie with a fixed penalty notice of £100 each for having a sofa in out back garden aargh have they nothing better to do, wouldnt mind but when we moved in in March the landlord said he would move it as it didnt belong to us and its still sat here, going to text him today and get him to shift it as she said if we move it asap they wont fine us! Right joke, i pay council tax and what miff's me off more is the other week they didnt empty my wheelie bin yet did everyone else's idiots!

Making Lexi go every 2 hours between feeds is going easily at the mo so i'm considering bumping it up by 15 minutes or so, its easier too when i have Elise at home as Lexi just sits and stares at her and laughs her head off if her sister is acting daft or dancing around Just want to start increasing the time too as last night she woke every 2 hours for a feed and i'm thinking thats down to having a feed every 2 hours through the day!

So onto last night, we went up to bed at 10pm and she woke for the first feed of the night at 12:20am then it was 2:20am, 4:20am then she woke at 5:30am crying so again she ended up in our room in the moses basket as i couldnt settle her and she didnt want a bottle and then when she finally nodded off after crying out a few times she woke at 6:35am so up we got! Not going to give her her breakfast just yet as it seems giving her at more or less as soon as we get up means she doesnt really want it and has a spoonful before flapping her arms and splatting slop around the room so i'm gonna wait until shes been awake for an hour before making it!

Getting a few more xmas bits today, me and OH were going to go to freeport and have dinner out but he has his counselling today which we forgot about so think i'm gonna take a little walk to the asda instead after the school run and get a few bits from there instead...like the matching outfits maybe
Managed to get 4 stocking fillers for Elise yesterday too from the pound shop...decent ones too, theres a paint your own piggy bank, a jigsaw, some puppy in my pocket figures with accessories and a zhu zhu pet with accessories, really quite impressed for £4 think i may have to venture in there again and get her some more bits, like i said to OH when you're a child you'd rather have lots of little presents to open rather than 1 big one and just a few others, i think she will be happy and i think were doing ok to say we've been struggling money wise, the kids come first though so we will just have to cut back on living expenses until after xmas!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Ha ha the blowing raspberries and drooling made me laugh. and brilliant that shes already standing up !!

That fine sucks its seems so unfair since it wasn't even your sofa!
Good luck with extending Lexis feeding intervals
and happy weds
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

Well i've wriggled my way out of the fine...for now! The council lady came back yesterday, said she had spoke to her manager and said i was either a good actor or i really had misunderstood her last time she came hehehe (good actress then lol) so she said because of the mis-communication they have extended it for another 28 days but must move the sofa within that time otherwise they will issue the fixed penalty notice! So the landlord has been notified and he is apparently sending his handy man to collect it as he's out of the country so cant do it personally! Least i dont have to fork out £200 now

Last night me and OH had a good chat, he was telling me how his counselling was going and that i dont understand how he feels and when he's having a bad day he deals with it by going to bed to get some peace and quiet, i said thats all well and good and fine if thats how he deals with it but it doesnt stop me resenting him when i'm getting zero sleep or help with Lexi, in his defence he said he does the house work and cooks but i said i would rather share the load as constantly looking after a baby 24/7 is very tiresome...its like having a dinner party that lasts all week, constantly entertaining...i need a break sometimes but he doesnt see it like that! Anyway after our emotional talk i decided i need to go see a doctor or at least speak to the HV monday...i've known for ages now but only just spoke about it last night that for some reason i have put barriers up, i hate giving and receiving affection, i used to be so affectionate but i dont know whats changed...i feel like everyone around me are strangers, even Elise and it upsets me of how cold i have become i need help i know i do!

i'm also one very tired lady today after Lexi slept terrible really really wish she would start sleeping, i'm sure Elise was much better at this sleeping lark! We went to bed at 10:40pm and she woke at 1:35am for the first feed then she woke at 2:55am, 4am, 5am, 6am and lastly 7am i have a terrible headache and feel like a could sleep for a year! OH is doing the school run today thank God, i just wanna stay in my PJ's all day and hopefully manage to get a few hours kip later if OH allows!

Wish Saturday would hurry up too...hopefully get a bit of retail therapy done and finish off the Christmas shopping! thats if the lovely housing benefit pay us what we are owed after cocking up!

Now to check last nights lottery results...wish me luck

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Aww , i'm not surprised you don't feel like giving or receiving affection. You are everyone's mummy, you've had no sleep since Lexi was born, you are basically OHs carer and no body in your family is taking any of the load from you. And then you are expected to be warm and giving of affection. It has to be earnt and right now you are just coping and do far to much work.

I have to say that every morning you send me warmth and affection and I dont see any evidence of you being anything but a tired out mummy trying to cope with a mountain of crap.

By all means go and see the drs, But i bet that having some of the practical weight of life at the moment lifted would change all that.

It sounds like your OH hasnt told his therapist that whislt he is chilling out in bed that you are working practically 24hrs a day looking after 2 children and him. I would ask him to be more honest with the therapist about that.

It just seems so selfish. Tell him that you need to chill out in bed for the week and that he has to deal with everything you do.

If it was me I'd have blown a gasket a long time ago and I wouldnt be doing more than half the night feeds.

I want you to be happy and for you and the girls to feel safe and have time to do the fun stuff.

Can you take Elise out for fun day and leave Lexi with OH or mum or get oh to take lexi out and make some cakes with Elise. You love her and she loves you and I'm sure that there is a way back.

Good luck honey
x Daisy
good luck

 

[babyem]

You're two girlies are gorgeous!! x

 

[deedee84]

Thanks Daisy i think you're probably right, i dont feel like doing anything in the way of normality at the moment apart from looking after my family and trying to get sleep! I'm used to OH, he was worse than this when we had Elise so at least i'm getting some help from him rather than him not helping out with anything what so ever, although in saying that the housework had not been done since saturday until i did it yesterday! The HV is coming out basically to see how i am so i'll just tell her how i feel rather than seeing a doctor and see what she thinks, i know i'm not depressed so i deffo do not want her sticking me on some pills and crap! As soon as we are financially sorted i am going to take Elise out to the cinema, just me and her and in the next few weeks i think we might make mince pies (for the first time ever) want to really start getting all festive now making the house smell yummy and christmassy!

Thanks Babyem too they both can be little tinkers at times though especially elise but i wouldnt have it any other way!

Right onto last night, we had another episode of missus crying out again around 8:30 ish, dose of calpol once again and took her ages to settle but we finally got there! was a bit worried about taking her up when i did (10pm) as she hadnt been asleep long and didnt seem completely fast on and we all know what happens if i take her up before shes properly asleep...takes me about 3 hours to get the little bugger settled! Anyway luckily enough she went straight down no problems and woke for her first feed at 12:15am she then woke at 2:40am, 4:40am, 5:50am and then woke again at 6am so i sent OH into her as i had not long since got into bed and then she woke lastly at 7am so we havent had too much of a bad night thank God!

Elise was crying out this morning too, she has a sore throat but its Friday, she only has one last day to go at school before the weekend and she seems fine now even though she is trying her hardest to get out of going to school little minx she is lol, theres not getting round me though, shes fine chatting away to Lexi and playing with her so i think shes fine for school!

OH spoke to housing benefits yesterday, they are paying us £540 tomorrow so i am going to finish off the Christmas shopping and finish off trimming up the house as its not completely done yet...really looking forward to Christmas Day now, cant wait to see my babies faces, and we're probably gonna get bruised ankles too as mums gettin Lexi a baby walker so gonna have to be watching our backs haha, i know what Elise was like in hers, road rage or what

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Phew that's the rent paid then that's great.
Hope that the HV can help a bit. And that you and Elise get some christmasy mum and daughter time.

Have a lovely weekend x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

Luckily we have managed to pay then rent anyway so this is a bonus at least we can live as well as pay rent now haha!

And thanks, me too...maybe a good old chat is all thats needed! Going to recipe hunt now for a good mince pie recipe might even do a practice batch this weekend if i have time!

happy weekend (almost)

xx

 

[deedee84]

OH's are so grumpy, but at the same time sensible (well sometimes) Housing benefits has been paid to us today but OH said i can only get the girls an outfit a piece for xmas as we need money to live on now until the other benefit gets sorted and we're not sure when that will be, as much as i understand where he is coming from it doesnt stop me being disappointed in the fact i cant get them as much as i was hoping for so an outfit each it is and i'll have to stay hopeful that we get some kinda payment before xmas so i can get them a few more bits!

Lexi slept fairly well last night...well for her anyway! She fell asleep around 8:15pm on the sofa as per, we went up to bed at 10pm and she woke for her first feed at 1am then 3:35am, 5:30am, 6:40am and because i havent needed to do the school run i fed her at 6:40 and put her back in her cot and climbed back into bed myself, she next woke at 7:55am so i feel like i've had some sleep at least, which is always good for my mood

Not on with much today, up to the asda later to get the outfits for xmas and some ingredients to make mince pies going to have a practice run and Elise is helping...this is gonna be fun hehe!

Happy Saturday

xx