Am I wrong for not wanting baby's dad to take him somewhere without me at 3 weeks old

[keepontrying]

its not far, just to his sisters house to show the baby off to her inlaws (some of whom smoke!)

i am really not comfortable with the baby being taken anywhere out the house without me yet, yes its prob neurotic and over anxious, he is kicking off saying that its ok for me to take the baby out but not him. I do think im more qualified as such because i have so much experience with children (nursery manager ) He says he knows how to look after his son and that I have no right to say that I dont want the baby to go!

Anyone else think this or would all you new mummies not want this to happen just yet?

 

[pinkyprincess]

My babies going nowhere without me. I've only left him for 2 hours once and he was at home with OH.

 

[Nurse 26]

at 3 weeks i wouldnt want anyone taking baby anywhere without me. xx

 

[Princess81]

Nope I wouldn't allow it either xx

 

[Hunnie]

Why can't you go with him?? I let my OH take Sophie out so I could have a break but if it was going somewhere to see people then id want to go to??

 

[Lilelephant]

I wouldn't either! I have only ever left O 3 times and he has been at home with OH but he was over 10 weeks old

 

[keepontrying]

im popping out to the gym, he wants to take him whilst i do that. to be fair we dont even know some of these people. i have already said any smokers present will not be allowed to hold the baby.

He says that if its ok to be up at 4am with him then it should be ok for him to take him out. i just dont want the baby taken anywhere without me at such a young age - it would be difficult enough doing the hour at gym even if he was indoors.

 

[littlemuffin]

I agree I wouldn't have her without me at that age if I didn't know the people. My OH took Macy out at 3 weeks to see his grandad but I knew they would be back in 30 minutes so I didn't say anything. By the time I had out a load of washing on and sorts the bedroom out they were back.

Just ask if they can wait for you to get back as you would like to see them too.

 

[keepontrying]

Well im not really getting any understanding at all - just 'what right do you have?' 'he is my baby too' etc. I have said that this is normal but feel like its almost a battle for ownership. He has the right hump and i feel like its going to develop into a huge argument. Nothing he says will make me feel any more comfortable so in fairness he can argue as much as he likes it certainly wont help - in fact it makes it worse.

 

[pinkyprincess]

Going to the gym so soon after birth can't be good for you! Your body needs time to heal, have you checked with the doctor to see if it's ok?

I personally would cancel the gym and stay with my LO and I think you'r OH needs to understand that carrying a baby means you have a bond with them, a bond a dad would never understand, he needs to respect that!

 

[keepontrying]

Going to the gym so soon after birth can't be good for you! Your body needs time to heal, have you checked with the doctor to see if it's ok?

I personally would cancel the gym and stay with my LO and I think you'r OH needs to understand that carrying a baby means you have a bond with them, a bond a dad would never understand, he needs to respect that!

to be fair physically i feel amazing, no issues at all, sprang back into shape on day 3 post birth, no tears or grazes etc so i think i light workout will be just fine.

i dont know how to get it through to him, i cant rightly explain it but all i know is there is no way he is going anywhere without me just yet!

 

[vickib_1984]

I'm with pp your body needs time to adjust!!! It takes your body up to 6 months to get back to normal after carrying and delivering a baby!!!! You should be resting when you can not exercising as it can damage you also if you've had stitches you won't be fully healed either obv you will do as you wish but I think you should reconsider your baby needs you at full health and strength not worn out and poorly through your own actions xx

 

[Mrs. KM]

I haven't let dh take K out yet and she is 9 weeks old, and I have only gone out twice for 30 mins each time since she was 7 weeks.

Even if you feel good and didn't have tears etc, it is dangerous to do much physically, your cervix takes a while to close and there is a risk that your uterus can fall out. Awful! It happened to a family member of mine after she had her baby and she ended up with a hysterectomy...

 

[prettypenguin]

I don't even let oh take Charlie now for long, he's very forgetful and clumsy with him lol. I'd cancel the gym and go too, just politely explain that I'd miss him too much and feel too attached atm x

 

[Squeakz]

I left with j with oh at that age but our circumstances dictated that..... I knew he would be fine with him and I trusted him if I said no smokers etc moreso as I knew oh felt the same and had the same opinions...... So me personally I would let him........but I would ask for it to be brief and if there were any problems id make sure he called me immediately.....

 

[hugsy]

iv left kayla with oh loads , i just needed the break a few days and had hairddressers ect , im happy for him to take her out but fully get why lots dont like to leave them with oh's

in saying that if you were gonna go out and leave him with the baby anyway then does it make that much difference if its in your hours or his sisters?

 

[pringle88]

No chance! not even now at 5 months old - to be fair we arent together and i dont think he would want to take her but even if we were together it wouldnt happen x

 

[Hunnie]

Ive been thinking about this more and I think you should trust your OH, after all he is his baby as well. As women we are all too quick to moan about when our OHs get it wrong, don't make an effort with baby (me being one of them!) so I think more credit needs to be given to them. As mums we've all got it wrong at some point or another and have learnt how to do everything with our babies through experiences and trial and error. It's only fair that OHs are given the chance to learn from these experiences as well otherwise how can we ever expect them to learn and help. I found that shutting my OH out and doing everything myself just made him feel inadequate and want to get involved less. After talking to another bloke about it all I decided to take a much more laid back approach to OH and LO and he is so much more willing and excited to get involved and help out because he knows I'm not going to criticise how he's doing everything and is learning so much quicker through experience rather than me ranting on to him about how do to do everything.


Off my soapbox now lol.

 

[BevG]

i think maybe its just cos you finally have your precious lo safe at home after so much trouble getting him that you dont want him out and about where you dont know he is safe. at home you know exactly where he is and all the hazards etc that could arise, out and about with anyone no matter how much you trust them there is so much that could happen and it makes you worry. being hormonal dosent help either. my OH hasnt asked to take baby anywhere without me but im leaving her with my mum tomorrow and ive left her with his sister too a couple of times while ive gone the shops. if you trust him then you may have to bite the bullet and let him take out his baby, after all he is so proud and keen to have him to himself obviously. im sure if there is a problem you would be the first person he would call. i know its hard hun and i perfectly understand where your coming from as im proper dreading college tomorrow. 9.30am til 4pm without my LO seems like forever and i have no idea what my mum will do with her or how she will manage lol. tho she raised me so im sure it will go fine she never bottle fed us so thats all new to her lol

 

[Hunnie]

i think maybe its just cos you finally have your precious lo safe at home after so much trouble getting him that you dont want him out and about where you dont know he is safe. at home you know exactly where he is and all the hazards etc that could arise, out and about with anyone no matter how much you trust them there is so much that could happen and it makes you worry. being hormonal dosent help either. my OH hasnt asked to take baby anywhere without me but im leaving her with my mum tomorrow and ive left her with his sister too a couple of times while ive gone the shops. if you trust him then you may have to bite the bullet and let him take out his baby, after all he is so proud and keen to have him to himself obviously. im sure if there is a problem you would be the first person he would call. i know its hard hun and i perfectly understand where your coming from as im proper dreading college tomorrow. 9.30am til 4pm without my LO seems like forever and i have no idea what my mum will do with her or how she will manage lol. tho she raised me so im sure it will go fine she never bottle fed us so thats all new to her lol

They always seem to behave better for grandma!! Lol xx