Is it me or him?

[star fish]

I seem to be constantly nagging my husband but he seems to be constantly unsupportive!

Every time i ask for help he snaps at me and then we row and i tell him off for not helping and he tells me I'm always telling him off and so we go round and round in circles.

I just want him to do it when i need him and not always make such a song and dance about how much it puts him out!

I'm not asking for help for me but with the baby, which is surely a joint responsibility,

I know it doesnt sound like a major relationship issue but we are just getting further and further away from each other.........

 

[hugsy]

Oh its him

i used to have this issue with oh when we first lived together and sat him w down and explained i was not his mother it was not my place to nag . He lived there too and if he didnt take it upon him self to do house work lo when needed that i would and up nagging him and fed up at him

he got a lot better . I do still have to ask a bit cut now we have a jokeevery time where he says iv done x y z not because you want me to but because i live here lol

just try have a calm conversation about it and hopefully he will improve

 

[vickib_1984]

^^^^^ wss hugs hun xxx

 

[Bee7]

Men are rubbish. My OH creates mess wherever he goes and just leaves it. Never thinks to tidy it away, just leaves it for me. I don't know if he doesn't notice the mess or he just automatically assumes that i'll clean it up but it's very annoying either way. The other day he used the last bottle and didn't think to sterilise any more so when it came to Jack's next feed i had to wait for a load of bottles to sterilise for 8 minutes in the microwave before i could feed him. 8 minutes is a long time when a baby is bawling!

But i digress, i think men are just a bit thoughtless at times. It's definitely not you. You have every right to ask for help and support and he should give you it without being begrudging. Maybe sit him down and explain that you're struggling and his attitude is only making things worse. Best to try and sort these things out sooner rather than later before it turns into a real issue. Good luck xxxx

 

[BevG]

it is just men lol. i dont do nagging, i ask once and then do it myself but i have always been really independant. i will only do the things i want to do tho. if it was oh's washing or something i wouldnt do it unless i felt like. things for baby are different and i just pass her to him, i dont ask i tell really. i dont say can you take her, i just hand her over. i ask him to make a bottle but thats not something i can tell cos i dont want to be a complete bitch lol.

 

[l_maclean]

I think men just don't see things the way we do. I gave up nagging - we now have the 'stupid rule' in our house. This came into force after DH used my new white towels to wash the car!! Then washed 2 handtowels in an attempt to cover it up. Then a week later used cream ones to mop up the black gunk out the radiator. Now if he does something stupid (or I have a repeatedly ask him to do something - putting DVDs IN the box when they come out the machine not on top of it is the worst) he gets a 'Stupid Warning' if he does it again I get to buy a pair of shoes (he's a skinflint so I hit him where it hurts) - so far I've had ONE pair of shoes out of it - but my DVDs now go where they should, and so do the towels! Lol.

 

[hugsy]

I think men just don't see things the way we do. I gave up nagging - we now have the 'stupid rule' in our house. This came into force after DH used my new white towels to wash the car!! Then washed 2 handtowels in an attempt to cover it up. Then a week later used cream ones to mop up the black gunk out the radiator. Now if he does something stupid (or I have a repeatedly ask him to do something - putting DVDs IN the box when they come out the machine not on top of it is the worst) he gets a 'Stupid Warning' if he does it again I get to buy a pair of shoes (he's a skinflint so I hit him where it hurts) - so far I've had ONE pair of shoes out of it - but my DVDs now go where they should, and so do the towels! Lol.

Oh i love that . Stupid rule . Classic im so stealing that one

 

[Young Mum 21 x]

we now have the 'stupid rule' in our house. This came into force after DH used my new white towels to wash the car!! Then washed 2 handtowels in an attempt to cover it up. Then a week later used cream ones to mop up the black gunk out the radiator. Now if he does something stupid (or I have a repeatedly ask him to do something - putting DVDs IN the box when they come out the machine not on top of it is the worst) he gets a 'Stupid Warning' if he does it again I get to buy a pair of shoes (he's a skinflint so I hit him where it hurts) - so far I've had ONE pair of shoes out of it - but my DVDs now go where they should, and so do the towels! Lol.

HAHAHA I LOVE IT!

I think it's just (some) men! Mine is the same, all I ask of him is to empty the bin.. I do everything else but even that is a chore to him!! x

 

[vixxie77]

Unfortunately, I think its best to start from day one and don't give up, which is what I did and my OH seems to do quite a lot compared to others, but he does complain sometimes too, I just ignore him lol. Keep on going hun, don't give up, your baby is his responsibility too x x

 

[l_maclean]

Having moaned about mine - he went off shore on tuesday and it is making me appreciate him. I have a sink full of dishes cos he always does them. And I had to do a whole pile of errands yesterday that he'd normally have done on the way home from work - so I guess he does have uses. Xxx

 

[leannesxb]

I gave back my engagement ring yesterday I was so fed up. Told the OH I will put it back on when he starts acting like the man and father he promised he would be. I know I'm a right cow. lol

 

[star fish]

Sigh...
I should probably have said he does all the cooking and the cleaning. But thats only because he likes a tidy house and i couldnt care less. Infact I'm the one who leaves the dvds on top of the tv and forgets to put them back in the box.

But he thinks he is entitled to a life outside the house and that i am not. After work he goes to the gym and then for a pint. If i complain that I need him he says i am being a cow not letting him have a life because he works, and i dont work and i wanted the baby. But when do i have a life? I cant do stuff like that.

My needs are so simple, I want to be able to have a bath once every 3 days at least, to have clean hair and not smell, and I want him to hold the baby whilst I eat something as often when he comes in I have not been able to get a proper meal all day. Is that really so awful? He makes me feel like it is, but surely these are just basic necessaties?

 

[Mrs CW]

I have to say my hubby is really good and does loads for us. I think there needs to be some compromise. My hubby goes to volley ball once a week which he asked before arranging and he's asked if I'd mind him going on a bike ride one evening after work. After work he usually comes straight home and takes over with LO as I've asked him too and does his bath and last bottle. If he is tired he will ask if I mind doing it that night while he has a rest but he'll then cook tea. A baby is your shared responsibility which is what I pointed out to my hubby and that he should spend as much time with him as he can x