am i over-reacting....

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by jacquidube, Oct 17, 2005.

  1. jacquidube

    jacquidube Well-Known Member

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    Am i over-reacting? I found out that my husband had been looking at other womens profiles. They all came up on the history. I had just popped out for only 20 minutes. When i confronted him he denied it and told me that i was going crazy. He said that they must of just appeared. I said please please tell me the truth. He said honestly love i would not do that to you. Anyway he went to bed on his own and left me very upset. cause every month we have been trying to get pregnant (well i have anyway) 4 hours later he came down and told me that he had been into the profiles but not for the reasons i thought he was in for. yer sure.
    I met this guy on the net 4 and a half years ago and been married 4 of those. I dont know if he is trying to look for someone different now cause he is bored maybe. I wont be trying to conceive this month cause he has let me down as a husband.
    Am i over-reacting or am i just being a woman?

    Thank you girls for reading this. I feel so helpless.
    Love Jacqui ...... x x x xx
     
  2. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jacqui

    Its always hard to give anyone advice when it comes to relationships, especially when you dont know the person, but my first thought was that why did he first say that he hadnt looked at them, but then later said he did? Sometimes I think they lie, because they think they will get in trouble, but what they dont realise is, is that if they told the truth in the first place you wouldnt get all het up over it. They confuse me!

    It also reminded me of my ex - he had passwords on his pc - so I couldnt actaully ever look at what he was doing on the pc (mind you he was a serial cheater (he had cheated on every girlfriend before me) and then eventually I was replaced with someone who he met a work - Im not saying this is what your husband is doing - I had an inkling my ex would do it to me at somepoint and I used to get mad for not reading the signs (or not facing up to them more likely)

    The only advice I would give is to sit down and have a good talk and say that this is his opportunity to say if he is not 100% happy with the relationship -is he 100% committed to having a baby? - give him a chance to share what maybe going on in his head?

    Probably not much help but we are all here to support you - even if its just to vent some frustration

    Good Luck

    L x
     
  3. Juzza

    Juzza Well-Known Member

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    Hey Jacqui,

    I know you must be feeling awful but what you need to remember is that he married YOU and nobody made him do that. Perhaps the strain of TTC is affecting ya hubby - they can be funny creatures and do not react well to any kind of pressure.

    I had a similar experience once when OH felt i wasn't paying him attention and he somehow felt better about himself when other women acknowledged his existence. He never acted on anything but he too chose to fib about the truth. Like it's already been said sometimes these boys think that they'll get into trouble if they tell the truth so they lie and end up even worse - they'll never learn.

    Just be sure you both want this baby because imagine how you'd be feeling if you were 5 months preggers.

    Lots o love
    Juz x
     

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