Am i over reacting?

[Sarah babe]

Hey well me and my OH are going through rough patch (been arguing all weekend so needed a little time away I suggested a day but somehow it got to much more) so I have been at his mam’s since Monday night. Yesterday my OH was acting strange and had his mates over at his he stayed off work he was strange on the phone and called me on the sly which he is not normally bothered bout talking to me in front of his mates. And he took his mate home last night at 12.30 at night which was very strange I normally have loads of text messages of him I had a fair few yesterday but not normally as much and then today I have had a bout four….. he is taking ages to answer the telephone and the background always seems far to quiet for him. He says he is by his self but not sure if I believe him. Then he said he had a bad belly and wasn’t feeling grand so I thought ok he isn’t well that must be why he isn’t bothering with me. Then I texted him cause he aint had nowt to eat all day and I asked him if he wanted me to come home tonight as we have spent two nights apart from each other in 6 months and I simply cant sleep without him. But then he texted me back

“its up to you babe theres football on tonight I look like crap babe. Love u loads I don’t want the first night I seen you in three days me being miserable and looking a clip coz in not well. Up to you though babe love you load xx”

and when I got that I broke down I think he is with someone else he has been very egar to get off the telephone to me all day very fast and the stupid few texts I have had he has kept them sort as in no more than 6 words.

Please help

 

[Blackfairykitten]

aww hun, wouldn't want to say that your over reacting cause you feel how you feel. I would have thought though he would of said no to seeing you if he was trying to see someone else. If it was me I would just turn up unannounced and see for yourself. With you being at his mums I doubt he would be up to anything dodgy.

See what others think.

Let us know and take care, try not to get too stressed.

xx

 

[Daggers]

Sarah, don't start putting these unconfirmed thoughts in your head, it will only make you feel worse and you have no justification for it other than a few short conversations and a quite back ground! Go home, he's probably is uncertain how he should be acting towards you under the circumstances and is therefore trying to tred carefully. Go and be with him and talk things through calmly, you both need each others support. Being away from each other is only going to put more of a strain on your relationship - as you're experincing now. My theory is never go to bed without solving a dispute and never walk away from it either, as a couple you need to work things out together!

 

[violet-glow]

I would try and catch him out... I wouldnt text him or fone him and just turn up at his house and see if he is with someone.

That sounds a bit fishy but then again i have a very suspicious mind.

 

[Miracle babe]

Sarah, don't start putting these unconfirmed thoughts in your head, it will only make you feel worse and you have no justification for it other than a few short conversations and a quite back ground! Go home, he's probably is uncertain how he should be acting towards you under the circumstances and is therefore trying to tred carefully. Go and be with him and talk things through calmly, you both need each others support. Being away from each other is only going to put more of a strain on your relationship - as you're experincing now. My theory is never go to bed without solving a dispute and never walk away from it either, as a couple you need to work things out together!

I have to agree with Daggers on this one. Being away from each other is obviously not helping. I can't help feeling that he is treading carefully and is unsure what to do hence leaving the ball in your court, he's hardly likely to do that if he has anything to hide as he wouldnt have known if you were going to come home or not. Maybe the text mesages were short becasue he was genuinly ill.
I'm a big believer in never letting the sun go down on an argument and my belief is you have to be in it to win it, yes everyone needs time out from time to time but you also need to be prepared to work at a relationship and stay even when the going gets tough.
My advice would be to go back there and talk to him. Perhaps even sit down before hand and write down a list of everything thats worrying you and upsetting you then go through it yourself and try and be objective asking yourself if these are genuine concerns or perhaps born from fear, fatigue or lonliness. That way you are going in there prepared and are not going to end up throwing accusations around which you find are not genuinely founded. Being pregnant is hard work hun, its physically and emotionally draining and a lot of what you are feeling could be partly at least attributed to that.
I hope you get things sorted hun and I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Hang in there hun from what you've said previously he seems like a dEcent bloke whose just as scared and confused as you are, lets face it parenthood is a scary business.
xxxxxxxxxxx
Stace

 

[Sarah babe]

Thanks girls for the advice. Well I talked to him last night and we sorted few things out over the phone we agreed that we would see each other tonight. He asked me to express some of my concerns over the telephone sop I did and he agreed he had not contacted me as much as he felt I needed to think about what I wanted. We both had a little cry on the telephone and agreed that we love each other far too much to be apart and have agreed if we do argue we will sort it out that night. Also we will both stay in the house and not leave we have agreed if we cannot spend time together then we will just go to his mam’s which is fine with me. I think we are both really stressed about everything at the moment with needing a place to live and buying all the baby stuff etc. we are good together there is no doubt in my mind about that I just get too emotional and stressed and I think living where we are living is getting him down a bit. I have found out he has been lying about little petty things but I think I will just let them lye to rest no point in arguing again over things which really don’t mean that much to me, again the trust issue and I no in time I will be ok. Thank you again you have all been a help. I am going to the doctors this morning and might pop in after that.

 

[Daggers]

Yah! Result looks like things might be on the up then, stay on this path and it will all work out. Sounds like y'all have made some good decisions. P.s. re spending lots of money on buying baby stuff don't forget to see if any mom's out there have anything their happy to give to you or let you buy at a reduced rate, think I'll be looking at the 2nd hand market for somethings myself, besides I also know quite a few poeple who have had babies in the last year and are looking to donate some of their baby cloths to me.

 

[Miracle babe]

So glad to hear that things are on the up hun. Well done for getting back in there. As for spending loads of money, I did that on my dd then was told I couldnt have anymore kids so got rid of all the stuff, this time round I'm being way more sensible, for example I'm not buying a baby bath when a washing up bowl on the dining table or baby with me in the bath is a far easier option. Plus who needs a top and tail bowl? Just wash his face first lol.
Just a few tips
Glad you seems to be feeling better but don't be afraid to have a cry and a moan at us when you need to, this baby thing is hard work as much as its wonderful. I've done it before and frankly I'm scared witless.
xxxxxxxxx
Stace