advice on a miscarriage...

[krystal&jack]

Hi Girls,
Am hoping you can help

A family member only just found out 3 days ago she was pregnant. I was really chuffed for her cos I know she had been trying for a couple of years and was pretty much convinced she couldn't have babies.

Anyway she did 2 clear blue digital pregnancy tests and they were positive and she went to docs yesterday and got it confirmed and she was aroun 6 weeks. She mentioned to the doc that she had really light spotting and he told her to just keep an eye on it. I told her not to worry too much as I had had this throughout my pregnancy and I know it can be quite common.

I called her today to see how she was and she said that the bleeding had got a little heavier and she had tummy pains, she said I think i'm coming on my period. I asked if she was going to docs or early pregnancy unit and she said 'nah its ok, nothing they can do if it's a miscarriage' I asked how she was feeling and she said ' i'm fine, we'll just try again cos at least I know I can get pregnant' I told her not to put a brave face on for everyone elses sake and it's understandable if she's upset but she said she was ok and just being realistic.

So this is were I am stuck, does she need to go to doctor? I kow nothing they can do to stop a miscarriage but i don't think the bleeding is that heavy at moment and like I said I had bleeding in early pregnancy and I jut wanted her to go to get an early scan maybe and see whats happening or to see if she needs medical help for it? also if it turns out to be a miscarriage is this a normal way for her to react? I mean i know there isn't a 'normal' way but I just worry she's bottling things up and just wanna help. She explained her reaction by saying she wasn't an emotional person yet I have never met anyone as emotional as he.

orry for long reply but i would be grateful for your help

 

[CB23]

Oh poor love

I know how she feels re at least she knows she can get pregnant as that is our big comfort. Also having only known for such a short time maybe she hadn't quite got her head around being pregnant yet? Or it may hit her in a few days time?

I would advise her to go get it checked, to make sure she is OK and to have a record that it happened. Not sure how you would suggest this to her but if the worst happens and she has further miscarriages surely if they had it recorded each time they would know to investigate it?

With regard to maybe needing medical help I think you're right she should go to A&E or at least her doc for a referral to hospital, I have now been bleeding for over a week and the foetal sac is still in my womb and it seems likely I will need an op. You just never know.

I hope she will be OK and have a healthy pregnancy for her next, or maybe even better news and she hasn't lost it this time

 

[krystal&jack]

Thanks CB23, what you said is exactly what I was thinking really, I just don't know if she's ready to hear it. I'll maybe try and speak to her again tomorrow. I have my fingers crossed for her and everything else, just worried cos my uncle and his girlfriend just concieved through IVF ( ) and claire worked out her dates and they were due 1 day apart if dates were correct. Know it's gonna be hard for her. Arghhh life! it does throw some sh't at good people doesn't it

 

[katyk]

Some people really don't like hosps and all the waiting around in hosp, and would rather go through things at home.

But if she has a scan, you never know she might be lucky and be reassured, it might just still look ok in there.

 

[libs]

I agree that she needs to let the doctor know and be checked - otherwise even if she's ok she'll get all her appts etc through for the midwife.

It's normal for anyone to react how they react. I had a little wobble when I found out but I wasn't devestated. Everyone reacts differently

 

[Steelgoddess]

Yopu say your friend has been ttc for a good while now... Sometimes when good things go wrong ppl try not to get their hopes up in the first place which may be why she is not as upset...

I don;t think theres a wrong or right way to act i think its down to the person, doesnt mean those that don't cry and want to move on are stronger it just may be the way she says things...

Personally If i were you I would advice her to attend an epu so they can do bloods to confirm the pregnancy has failed (or even maybe not) more so she can have closure, but the final choice is her own.

I know my very first miscarriage I just assumed the preg was over, didnt see a doc and that was that. Now with my recent two I have seen doctors and in my most recent one they have been really helpful.

x