a bit upset actually...

[Terrie]

over something the nursery said to me yesterday.

i picked the kids up from nursery and the owner pulled me to one side and said they are having some problems with Rhys.

apparently he isnt listening to instructions properly and wont sit with the other children and do activities (like drawing or listening to a story) he just gets up and wonders off round the room. hes such a sweet quiet person that he just gets away with it. she also said that he isnt sharing toys properly and prefers 'individual play' to playing in a group. she also said he is always following the adults round attempting to talk to them instead of playing with the other children and they are finding it difficult to give him attention one on one.

so ive been asked to 'work on his concentration' she was telling me to sit down with him and get him to colour for 10mins etc.. like i dont do that anyway!? i do TONNES of productive stuff with my children, our routine is very structured and although Rhys doesnt always join in i do TRY

to be honest for me this is just another tick in the box for autism

 

[FebMum2Be]

Oh Tezzy Are there tests that can be carried out for autism? Have you mentioned it to your doctor x

 

[titch]

Ahh hun this must all be so worrying for you. I would just point out if he is trying to get attention of adults in the nursery, its not a very autistic thing to do. Its really complicated but in general if children are initiating interactions either with words or gestures then its a very good sign.

Is his language delayed? Sometimes if children are struggling with language in the early years it mirrors some autistic behaviours. For example if he was finding it hard following hte language in a story he wont be able to engage with it and it must just get really boring for him!

Just trying to play devils advocate really. Have you spoken to your health visitor? If you think his language might be a problem you can probably self refer for a speech & language therapist assessment. And there are lots of language programmes for little ones to move them on so at least you could feel like you are doing everything you can. Nothing worse than feeling powerless.

 

[Terrie]

rhys is currently going through speech therapy and we have used Makaton (baby signing) since 9 months with him and it is the main way he communicates

x

 

[Terrie]

sorry i should have maybe mentioned his other signs for autism:

he rocks/bounces a lot (it seems to sooth him when he gets flustered)
he likes routine and gets flustered if something new happens
as i said hes going through speech therapy
he has OCD about cleanliness... doesnt like being dirty and washes his hands 6/7 times a day

 

[Terrie]

just found a post i made on another forum 28th jan 09 about my concerns

ive been thinking this a while but its really starting to get to me now..

Rhys still isnt speaking, he can say around 15 words (if that) but he can sign about 200.

the kids started nursery in december and ive had the carers come up to me on numerous occasions to say that rhys doesnt really know how to interact with other children, prefers to play alone, and doesnt really make eye contact a lot of the time. i put it down to it being a new environment with new people, but hes been there almost 2 months now.

also Rhys likes to bounce, he has a bouncing zebra which he loves to play on but he will also bounce on chairs, on my shoulders, on the floor. he bounces a lot and it seems he needs the stimulation? he doesnt bounce in a 'fun' way, he doesnt laugh or smile... he is so serious and concentrates hard when he does it

 

[titch]

Ah glad you are already getting some speech therapy. If you ask they can give you activities to do at home? Makaton's really good, and you've done it from really young which is brilliant.

Sounds like you have your handsful with him whatever is going on. Sending you big hugs, you can ask the speech therapist or health visitor to refer to paediatrician for assessment if you're ready? Then you'd know one way or another. The assessment process varies in different places but it usually involves lots of different professionals and can take a really long time to complete cos they are really thorough.

 

[Mamafy]

So sorry you're upset hun

Contact your hv/dr with your concerns and push for him to be assessed. He can definitely be assessed at this age

 

[evie_smith]

im a bit worried with my issabelle about autisum the doctors suggested to be when i talk to her to say issabelle - look at mummy and get her to look at me first its amasing what eye contatc can do they reackon that if a child/baby/adult is autistic they find it hard to condsertrate on one thing and take everything in or consentrate so hard on one thing sometimes they block other things out so the eye contact is good - i dont know if my little girl has it or not so i dont know if this will help but it helped when the doc suggested it to me - she has since saying allot more even tho my one year old practically knows the whole english language i feel like he is the older child sometimes- it is fustrating getting them to look at you sometimes i have spent an hour asking issabelle to look at me sometimes and she dont get upset its like she is in a world of her own hope this helps it helped belles speach too as she was semi concentrating on me - you could ask the play school to do this too maybe it will help - if your worried tho hun just pop to your doctors and comment your conserns its really good that you have noticed and it shows what a good mummy you are x x x x x

 

[Rowesb]

big Tezzy, sounds as though u are doing everything u can atm, have u enquired about getting a proper assessment done? Nothing much more to add from what has already been said...

 

[Terrie]

thanks girls will speak to hv x

 

[Jo]

Rhys is 3 now isn't he?
He is old enough to be assesed in some way I would think.

I was quite worried about Jack for a while although I didn't speak to anyone about it, not even Ant

Jack was a proper creature of habit and still is a little bit with certain things.
He used to bounce and rock and his concentration non existent, and make daft noises rather than asking for things properly, it used to drive me crackers.
He also used to line things up over and over again.

Jack is/was a schema, and it sounds like Rhys could be too, they prefer individual play and not strutured

http://www.dorsetforyou.com/index.jsp?articleid=357248

A lot of schemas could be mistakan for being on the autism spectrum

Jack has changed since he went to Nursery-joined to school, but he still has his moment, it seems to be something that last a long time from 18months+ to around 4yrs old and even after, but they do seem to grow out of it.

xx

 

[Terrie]

thanks for that Jo.. sounds a lot like rhys

 

[Jo]

I'll do a full rundown for you of what Jack used to be like, when I get more than 5 minutes

If you are worried at all though contact someone.
Nursery should be aware of Schemas, you learn about it for EYFS.
Have they actually suggested autism or anything or given you any guideance or support?

xx

 

[Terrie]

no they havent suggested anything but i spoke to two people last week regarding rhys and they said he sounded boarderline autistic but would have to meet him before making any decisions.

together with Rhys' speach issues and 'bouncing' ive been thinking autism for a while though..

 

[DonSelf]

Hi! Surely this is to be taken seriously, but still... I think they usually just want to label things and make sure they've got it coverred. It still might me that your kid's just fine - seriously! Keep your mind together and deal with this as it goes - try to see the possibilities on this too. You may be offered some help, that might be great - no matter what's the final 'verdict'.

 

[DonSelf]

BTW - My kid loves stacking and lining up objects - not autistic tough....

 

[evajo]

Hi, don't know if i can help but i have worked with children with austism, speech problems and other behavioural difficulties. My daughter also had speech delay and then a phonological disorder. I have worked hard over the years to hep her with this (she was fluent signer too) and although by the end of rececption her speech issuses were almost resolved she still struggles with her language short term memory and i think she has some processing issuses too which have yet to be assesed.
I would say that in most situations a doctor will be reluctanct to make a formal diagnosis until your son is at least five, but you should speak to everyone possible, speech thearpist, hv, gp and nursery satff about an assesment of needs. This in turn could lead to a statement or extra funding so he could have a one on one within the nursery. Once this is in place - and it is hard to get so you will have to push - you will begin the process of hving him watched more closely and in the appropriate care, but more importantly he would have the help he needs to interact with the other children, help with his concentration and other areas he needs extra help in.
My second thought would be that although he is displaying some autisic traits we are all on the autistic spectrum. My daughter struggled with eye contact with strangers or people see doesn't know too well she still does, she can play on her own for hours and although she never bounced or anything like that she would always be into fine detailed things as a young child, ie putting tights on and off, dressing undressing dollies and buttons, poppers and zips - she could do all of this from 18-20 months, which i young.
I hope you get some help with your son, sometimes a diognosis is what we need so we can deal with the problem and help and although things have improved since my daughter was at nursery (shes 7) it takes a lot of chasing people and real demands to get anything done. I had to get a private assesment done in the end as my daughters speech thearapist was close to useless and spent more time complaining about how many children she had to see than giving me advice on how to help my daughter - although i have met some great ones since . We have also just moved her to an independant school as her school were unwilling to give her any extra help even though we had assesments to say that she needed extra help and support. So like i said it can be hard work but don't stop oushing these carers to do their job as these first years are the most important, but don't forget in the midst of all this you have a beautiful son and except him for who he is - it took me a whie to do this and i look at my daughter now with admiration she is a great person and loves life and although she doen't mix in the normal way with her peers he doesn't care and is happy x Good luck x

 

[JJ Mum]

I don't know anything about autism, hope you get some answers and support with this soon.
If Rhys could say 15 words and sign 200 words, I wonder if he would have said more if he didn't have the ability to sign - as that's really quite clever of him!

My first could only say Mummy, No and Bob when he started nursery at 2 years 9 mths , and they all thought that was strange, he caught up just fine. My second boy who is now 9, will not listen, and we have to do what Evie suggested and touch him, call his name several times, and ask him if he is ready! when he says yes, I can speak to him, he is so focused in what he is doing he has no idea I'm talking. He can't find anything when you tell him where it is, he can't remember anything, my other kids think it's funny. He also has always favored adults to kids, and wants to talk to them instead, and has trouble with friends. Hope the docs can help you a bit more X

 

[MrsR]

How is Rhys doing now, noticed this was posted in january x I used to work in childcare and saw so many different behaviours in children and if we ever had a concern we'd make a plan with the parents and proffessionals to assess and help the child x it's so true that every child is completely different x I'm just wondering how he's doing now and if nursery has taken any steps to help you and him out or if you've spoken to hv? x Sorry to be so nosy x