2nd babies-literally scared haha

[TashaWink]

I am excited to have another child but at the same time I am a little scared.

Just how tired I'm going to be, how much we've all got to adapt, ollie really not understanding why I can't do something. Seriously so worried haha

Ollie will be 3 and it'll be warmer so we can do a lot of parks etc. but I'm worried he's going to feel pushed out as its been just us 2 during the day for the last 2 years.

My SIL is having her 2nd and there will be 16months between them. And that really freaks me out to the point I feel sick with nerves for her.


Anyone else scared...or is it just me?

I know it'll be fine and we'll adjust no problem but it's just the unknown I think.

 

[julies4gems]

Yep me too! I'm worried for different reasons though. This is baby five for us - our daughters are 18 16 10 and 5. I'm frightened that there aren't enough hours in the day, that I don't have enough hands and that I will never get any sleep ever again! ��
You will be fine - two little ones is perfect xx

 

[Mummybexee]

My son will be 17 months when this baby comes along

I'm crapping myself! Was not meant to happen lol

 

[Baby2sky]

My daughter will be 2 yrs 8 months when the next comes. Im glad of the age gap, but im just worried about jealousy as my daughter is a real mummys girl and i can't bear for her to maybe feel left out! Im also worried about all the logistics of things, im not getting a double buggy so thinking about what it will be like taking them both out etc as S is quite a fire wire and a hard to handle independent little thing!

 

[Durhamchance]

I'm worried about how I'll cope, even things like our morning routine, will I be able to put baby down to dress Blake? Will I be able to leave the room to make breakfast? Even down to who do I take downstairs first?

But: so many mums cope with two, with differing age gaps, so I'm sure I'll manage. If push comes to shove I can just buy two dog crates and put one in each right?! (Kidding )

 

[littlemonkey]

Durhamchance I like your thinking! Hahaha!

I do worry about what I will be like with two. My son was hard work when little because he cried a lot because of reflux, and I felt like I had to hold him a lot etc. I did end up with PND because I was scared of leaving the house in case he cried, which feels ridiculous saying this now. I also kind of expected life to go on as normal just with this peaceful sleeping baby in a moses basket in the corner. Again totally ridiculous thinking back now!

This time I'm more relaxed and realistic. I'm not afraid of my baby crying, and I'm not afraid of all the hang ups I had last time around. I know mydepression warning signs, and am already thinking about starting back on antidepressants as soon as I have this LO as a precaution.

I think to myself my mum had four kids, including twins, she coped and us kids all coped. I'm sure we will manage. I'm just going to be a lot kinder to myself this time around and not try to be super mum!

 

[hayes]

I'm just as worried hun there will b 20 months roughly between my two n I'm terrified how I will cope but cope we will as somehow it will just happen we will adapt n a new routine will emerge, we will find our own ways of doing things n if not the crate idea sounds fab lol!!

Michelle.x

 

[brand new]

I am shitting myself! So so scared. Dunno if I will cope. But every day I get more and more worried.

 

[Mummybexee]

Your not alone. We have had it rough with Oscar - severe reflux managed by meds, operation in hospital - constantly Ill.

I hope this one is just a happy un poorly baby to soften the blow haha

 

[littlemonkey]

Your not alone. We have had it rough with Oscar - severe reflux managed by meds, operation in hospital - constantly Ill.

I hope this one is just a happy un poorly baby to soften the blow haha

Think thats how I feel, last time was so hard this time should be a breeze in comparison!

 

[mrswoody]

This was me 4 months ago!

I am now 4 months in to having a 23 month age gap between my girls and life is bliss.
Yes it is hard work in the early days. Yes you feel so guilty for bringing this new little baby into your home. But it is totally worth it and baby will just slot into your life like they were there all along.
My eldest adores "her baby" and I could not be happy. I try and split my time as best I can between them so that my oldest doesn't feel left out.
Morning routines work just fine if a little slower but we get there.
My bed time routine with my eldest is the same but now baby is included and is ready for bed at the same time-I can even bath them together now! Lol

I also do it alone Monday to Friday as oh works away.

You ladies will manage life will just be that bit more hectic xx

 

[CharlotteH24]

I think it's all about finding a balance between the two children and making the eldest as involved as possible, don't forget that you'll have their entire lives to make them understand that you love them equally. Eventually they'll be old enough to understand. It's natural for them to feel a bit of resentment at first, especially when children are too young to fully understand how much care a baby needs. Everything will be fine, so many women have children with small age gaps and they all manage one way or another. You don't need to be super mum or the perfect family, every family is dysfunctional is some way, you just gotta do the best you can with what you've got! X

 

[Rooster30]

Yes! I'm terrified! I'm More concerned about how my son will cope than how I will cope managing two at once. Poor little man hasn't a clue (well, he knows I have a baby, but you know) about what's going to happen in two months time. I just really feel for him. I talk about the baby all the time, but he is only two so of course, he doesn't really get it.

 

[kumber]

Another nervous one here, there will be 14 months between these two! Not sure how I will cope, especially getting the two of them AND a buggy up and down the stairs to the flat, I struggle as it is! Somehow we'll work it out, I think these things always do. I just keep trying to think my granny had 6 children in 9 years, if she can do that then we can totally cope with two! Right?!?!

 

[Ella1979]

You'll all cope! It just happens. I have 21 months between mine. It is hectic and sometimes I have to leave one to sort the other out. In some ways it is slightly easier in the early days as far as that goes - my son would be sleeping while I got my daughter dressed etc. Now they're older it seems more difficult to split myself in two. I have to leave the room with my daughter to help her with going to the loo and my son will cry. I think the most difficult thing I've found is getting out of the house now they're older too - my son still doesn't walk alone, so needs the pushchair; my daughter still gets tired easily when walking, so needs the pushchair. Basically I end up walking pushing the double with my son in it (13.5kg) and holding my daughter's reins; then later have to push them both (roughly 26kg). I usually jump for joy when my parents come over to help us go for a walk!!!

So yes, difficult at the beginning, easier when the baby gets a few months old, then difficult again once they become mobile too (but not mobile enough to walk themselves!). I'm thinking in a few months time it will be much, much easier!

 

[littlemonkey]

Yes! I'm terrified! I'm More concerned about how my son will cope than how I will cope managing two at once. Poor little man hasn't a clue (well, he knows I have a baby, but you know) about what's going to happen in two months time. I just really feel for him. I talk about the baby all the time, but he is only two so of course, he doesn't really get it.

I worry about the impact it will have on my son too. He'll be two years two months when this baby arrives. We've tried explaining it all, but he doesn't seem to take it all in just yet.

I just keep telling myself I was three when my mum had my sisters and I cannot honestly remember anything without them. It will be fine!

 

[CharlotteH24]

My mum had me and my brother 3-4 years apart but my brother has Aspergers and diagnosed at 4/5 years old. She did it single handed and me and my brother get along alright, when we were kids we did have issues because he's always been a mummy's boy and sometimes they still arise now but that's natural. No two siblings will get along without a single argument or a bit of jealousy, but kids are much more resilient and accepting than what they're given credit for.
My friends 3 year old was so naughty before she had her second son, he would lash out physically and verbally at her. He wasn't always like it but he's said some pretty nasty things to her whilst she was pregnant after hearing them through her ex partner, saying that he wishes that his brother would die, etc etc. But baby is now here and is 2 months old, her little boy will sit and hold his brother and help to change nappies, he's become a fantastic brother and he's become far better behaved than what he was. It's just another one of those life lessons for them, I've always found that most children adapt better than most adults do. It is a big change but I'm sure you can all get through it, just don't be scared of asking family or friends to help when you need it. It isn't bad to ask for an hour to yourself once in a blue moon. X

 

[ams25]

So glad I read this thread to realise I'm not alone haha, there will be 3 years between my two when baby 2 is born and my main fears are being able to get us all up and ready in the mornings on time, and also how tired iM going to be if I'm up all night with the baby, I'm so worried that DS will miss out because I won't have any energy left to play with him! When he was a baby I could have a nap in the daytime when he did but won't be able to this time with DS to look after. I don't want to be a horrible tired grumpy mummy to DS I'm sure it must all work out somehow though otherwise nobody would ever have number 3, 4 etc xxx

 

[Bonfire Bride]

Yes! I'm terrified! I'm More concerned about how my son will cope than how I will cope managing two at once. Poor little man hasn't a clue (well, he knows I have a baby, but you know) about what's going to happen in two months time. I just really feel for him. I talk about the baby all the time, but he is only two so of course, he doesn't really get it.

I worry about the impact it will have on my son too. He'll be two years two months when this baby arrives. We've tried explaining it all, but he doesn't seem to take it all in just yet.

I just keep telling myself I was three when my mum had my sisters and I cannot honestly remember anything without them. It will be fine!

There will be 2 years and 3 months between mine and I'm also a little apprehensive

 

[TashaWink]

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

I'm liking the idea of crates haha

I know we will all mould into a new routine and share time equally. Have to sit with baby on the floor whilst I play trains. Strap baby to me whilst I help the eldest in the toilet. And sleep at night when baby does-none of this staying up watching my shows! I'm lucky that I can function on little sleep but broken sleep is horrid-as long as I have a 4hour stretch I'll be fine