Your thoughts pls - concerned about conception date

[Jessica123]

Hi there

I have never posted on a forum before but I have nowhere else to turn and would like your opinions / thoughts.

I am worried about my conception date and if an accident could have happened with the wrong man. My edd is 10th September. This was worked out by a scan at 13wks. A scan at 8 weeks dated my edd as 13th sept but I was then moved forward 3 days when I was scanned at 13weeks.

I cannot be sure when my LMP was to the day. My edd 10th sept implies it was 4th dec. this sounds right and when looking back at my diary I think this is accurate, maybe 1 day out tops.

I am in a long term relationship 5yrs) but we had a break before Christmas, during this time I got very drunk and ended up in bed with a friend, this was the eve of 10th dec, so I was only just off my period. We did not dtd. I know this for definite. We were both so drunk he could barely stand so I am pretty certain we both passed out, the following morning we 'messed about' a bit but again, did not dtd. He has issues with his performance so is pretty much incapable of getting an erection without the aid of Viagra. So I am 99% certain that by him fingering me (sorry tmi) I could not have got pregnant. I think it is highly unlikely anything would have been on his fingers as he really struggles to get it up ever, let alone with a load of alcohol in his system. He is also older than me (43) so not sure if effects his virility.

On dec 13th I did a preg test (the one that tells u early before u missed a period) and it was negative.

Anyway, we are still friends and we brushed it under the carpet. I got back with my partner. We dtd on the 17th and 22nd Dec. we did not use precaution as both were not concerned if I got pregnant. We planned to start trying in Jan anyway. 18th dec was the day I ovulated, according to my dates from the scan and my edd date and period cycle, which was regular. That means 17th I was 'very fertile'. Even on the 22nd date I still would have been in my fertile window. My partner is fit, healthy and young (ish) as am I, so it does not surprise me we conceived quickly (we count ourselves lucky).

I did a preg test on the 20th dec and it was negative. I did another test on the 11th Jan and it said I was 2-3 weeks pregnant. This was the weekend my period would've been due.

The reason I was doing so many preg tests in dec (2) is because I was drinking at Xmas parties and didn't want to drink if I was pregnant.

Anyway. Although I know the odds are very slim, I cannot get the drunken fumble out of my head. The dates don't match my due date, and I did not actually dtd, he cannot get an erection without Viagra but it is still worrying me.

Do any of you think that the baby could be the result of the drunken fumble? Or am I letting my guilt affect my otherwise wonderful pregnancy and happy relationship?

Thanks

X

 

[OfficiallyMrsM]

My conception date was 4th dec and I'm due 22nd august ....

 

[mellie_88]

You can't always go exactly by what dates they give you, especially if its only a few days as babies grow at different speeds. What they give you is just an average.

The only way to be sure is a DNA test after birth.

 

[tinkerbell13]

To me it sounds highly unlikely that you got pregnant during the drunken fumble especially if you didnt dtd! My due date based ony last period was 14th Sept but was moved to 10th Sept after 12 week scan. We got pregnant on first cycle trying and only dtd 3 times during december when id worked out most fertile dates and we dtd on the 20th , 21st and 22nd december. I got my bfp on 3rd jan with a first response test. Don't know if this is of help to you?

 

[Jolly81]

I think you can put your drunken fumble out of your head Hun- sorry you're feeling confused about this

But honestly, by your dates I really think it extremely unlikely that anyone but oh is the daddy so I think you should try and relax a bit and look to your future now x

 

[Jessica123]

Thanks so much for your responses. It is a massive help just to have somebody who is not involved in the situation to logically look at it. I am beating myself up massively about it and it's making me worried about having my other half at the birth...

I know the only way to be sure would be a DNA test and this is a bridge I will cross if I have to..

Thanku again, it is such a help to have your opinions, whatever they are

Xx

 

[Jessica123]

And tinkerbell13, Thanku for the dates, we dtd 22nd morning so this could be the time we conceived...

I also thought seeing as the 10th I was literally just off my period (remember because I was chuffed I could wear my party dress without a tampon or pad!) and I've read somewhere it's unlikely u get pregnant when you're just off your period..

That and we def didn't dtd...

I'm so annoyed with myself girls it happening and if I could turn back time I'd gave never git drunk and put myself in that stupid position in the first place..

Thanks again xx

 

[Jolly81]

Don't look back now, these things happen and you've sorted your head out now so there's no point beating yourself up x

 

[Saxelby88]

According to an online conception calculator (these things are not that accurate as all bodies are different) the possible dates of conception for a 10th September due date are 14th to 22nd December. For 13th September the dates are 17th to 25th December.

From this it looks like it isn't going to be from the drunken fumble. I shouldn't even think about it anymore hun.

x

 

[tinkerbell13]

And tinkerbell13, Thanku for the dates, we dtd 22nd morning so this could be the time we conceived...

I also thought seeing as the 10th I was literally just off my period (remember because I was chuffed I could wear my party dress without a tampon or pad!) and I've read somewhere it's unlikely u get pregnant when you're just off your period..

That and we def didn't dtd...

I'm so annoyed with myself girls it happening and if I could turn back time I'd gave never git drunk and put myself in that stupid position in the first place..

Thanks again xx

Yes as Saxleby88 said I wouldnt think about it anymore and just look to the future!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Goes so fast doesnt it!

X

 

[Jessica123]

I have tried diff dates with the online calculator too... And got the same outcome. I know you can't go on the dating scan dates 100% but I really do think my LMP was when they dated it (4th dec). My periods have been regular since coming off the pill last summer. I was even recording my periods in a little pocket diary, as plan was to start ttc this year anyway. However I stupidly threw it away by accident when having a post Xmas clear out.

I cannot believe I am 28 weeks pregnant, It has gone so quickly. I am a ftm but I had no sickness and largely been able to carry on relatively normally...

Still haven't plucked up the courage to watch OBEM!

Thanku again...

Xx

 

[tinkerbell13]

Its our first too but I suffered with sickness (throwing up too) from 6 - 21 weeks. Im so glad thats stopped now. I have not and do not intend to watch OBEM, it'll scare me to death as they are not going to show the straight forward births are they. Too much for me lol.

 

[Selina13]

I've just looked on a calculator online and based on your EDD you conceived around 14-23 December so I think you may be ok.
X

 

[mumofthree]

Agree with the above ladies, the drunken fumble man is not the father....also for future reference and to save yourself some $$$$ no pregnancy test, no matter how early it says you can test, will detect a pregnancy within a few days of you dtd.. i.e you stated you fooled about on the 10/12 and you tested on the 13/12, nothing but negative would show there

 

[Jessica123]

Thanks... I did the test on the 13th not in relation to the 'incident' but because I was going on a girly weekend and knew a lot of fizz would be consumed. At that point it never even crossed my mind I could be pregnant from before, it's only when I found out in Jan that I was a bit surprised it had happened so quickly and then began to look at my dates and what ifs...

I know that if this was somebody else and not me, I would be saying its do unlikely etc.. Just when it's you that 1% of doubt eats away... I really could kick myself for being so stupid. It's really not like me either so I'm annoyed about it even more..

I know the only way to tell for def will be a paternity test after baby is born.. If my oh found out it would kill him so I'm going to try and think positive and look at the list of pros of cons and look at it logically instead. I can't change the past now

X

 

[Jessica123]

Thanks for all your responses much appreciated x

 

[ema-lou24]

My dates are very similar to yours. My LMP was 7th dec, I conceived around about the 22nd of dec and got our positive on the 4th jan, my edd is the 13th sept.

Even if you did dtd with this other bloke and confirmed he dod ejaculate anywhere near your toot toot, hes unlikely to be the father, going by your dates.
But he didnt and even with a little on his fingers,which u think couldn't be possible anyway, hes not the father.

But I know what u mean. I was 17 when I had my son,I was with his father up until hebwas 2yrs old but for some strange reason I had it in my head that he might not have been...I was never with another man but around about conception we had a friend stay over and I used the loo after he had and afterwards he wound me up saying he had left his man juice on the toilet seat...I dunno if he had,I never noticed anyways at the time then heard someone in a paper saying they got pregnant by sitting on a toilet after a man had ejaculated on it...so I thought I was pregnant with a mans baby that id never even kissed or even been intimate with! Mental eh? My son is very much his dads....Unfortunately as hes an arsehole and no longer with him.
But I dont think your stupid for letting that thought run through your head.
Enjoy your pregnancy with your fella and his baby . Xx

 

[Jessica123]

Thanks for your response and reassuring words.... It's just that stupid 1% of doubt, it eats away! Am having a 3d scan next week so I will be over the moon if little girl looks like my oh!

Thanks again xx

 

[LeeGood]

A lot of babies were conceived due to alcohol and viagra , it is not criminal and won't affect the future baby in any case. Alcohol can damage a baby on later terms (there are many adequate studies in the web which can confirm my words). I hope you and your kid are okay now!

 

[chattychar1990]

@LeeGood - this thread is 5 years old!