Help with conception date. . =(

[boobookee]

Hi all

I know yous are all going to say i am silly to get myself in this situation but i am in desperate need for help, advice and assurance from somebody. The thing is, i found out i was pregnant on the 21st of august by a home pregnancy test. I was feeling wierd within the weeks before and was worried as when my period was due at the beginning of august and i only had a day or two of brown spotting. When we found out my partner of 3 years was over the moon, but for me i felt sick to my stomach as on the 12th of august i had a 1 night stand (1st and last) please dont judge me. . my relationship was rocky by this point. Anyway i had a emergancy scan on the 30th of august which they told me the baby was 5 weeks. now i am just desperate to know wether it is my partners baby or the 1 night stands?? another thing is the 1 night stand didnt ejaculate. please can somebody give me some advice or help!?
I am now 15 weeks pregnant according to recent scan, and i am a very happy mummy-to-be but would just like everything to be perfect and stress free for the rest of my precious pregnancy =)

Thank you for listening

 

[BevG]

well count back 15 weeks. the scan is fairly accurate as to the exact age of your fetus so 15 weeks before your scan day should be conception. you can get pg even if the man dosent ejaculate as they constantly leak precum.

 

[boobookee]

Thanks,
i have done that but my midwives keep telling me i must of had a period at the end of july which me and my family know differant as we know my last 1 was the end of jun beginning of july. this is what makes us think (and hope) the scan date is wrong =S

your baby looks beautiful btw =)

 

[Mrs. KM]

Conception should approximately 2 weeks after your last monthly period, and since you calculate your pregnancy from you lmp, you would have conceived about 13 weeks ago. Hope this helps!

 

[BevG]

lol thats just the generic pic from the ticker. thanks tho im sure when shes born she will be cute as hell but i couldnt afford a 4d scan so i wont be seeing her til then. i hope you figure it out but either way hun a childs father is the guy thats there to dry their tears and carry them on his shoulders, not the guy who donated genetic material.

 

[boobookee]

I know thanks alot and sorry for the mix up haha i am sure she will be fabulous, good luck =)
this means its most likely to be the 1 night stands =( the reason why i am really worried is because my partner doesnt know about this mix up so i am feeling like i am living a lie but cannot tell him as it will shatter too many peoples hearts ='(

 

[Sam's Mum]

Both the 5 week and 15 week dates suggest you conceived within a few days of the 9th August. Did you also have sex with your partner around that time? x

 

[boobookee]

oh god!. . nope the last time i had sex with my partner was around the 4th =S this isnt looking good is it.

 

[Mrs. KM]

Are you exactly 15 weeks today? It is possible for sperm to live inside you for up to 5 days I think, so hard to know for sure!

 

[boobookee]

yep i am 15 weeks and 1 day today! all i can do is hope and pray, maybee get a dna done after its born. do you think i should tell my partner? i just dont want to ruin the pregnancy and ruin the relationship incase it is my partners.

 

[Sleepy sue]

Hi Hun scan dates can be wrong, mine put me forward a week!! Now I know this is wrong as I was using the cb fertility monitor and was obtaining from sex until we had peaks and highs!
Good luck Hun and I hope you manage to get through this x x

 

[MummyTo5]

lol thats just the generic pic from the ticker. thanks tho im sure when shes born she will be cute as hell but i couldnt afford a 4d scan so i wont be seeing her til then. i hope you figure it out but either way hun a childs father is the guy thats there to dry their tears and carry them on his shoulders, not the guy who donated genetic material.

Couldn't agree more!!! Well said x

 

[l_maclean]

I'm with sam's mum, it looks like you would have concieved round about the 9th of august. - the scan dates can be wrong but given that both of yours indicate the same thing i'd say its reasonable accurate.

Only you can decide if you can live with not telling your partner. The only thing I would say, is consider what would happen if it was to come out later. as ive never been in this situation im looking at this from a completely logical point of view - but how would he feel if he'd raised this child and finds out in 10,15 20 years time that its impossible for the child to be his. - also the rest of your life, is a long time to keep that to yourself and it might impact on ur relationship in other ways if your not be totally honest.

sorry if that sounds harsh honey, i know its difficult.

xxx

 

[boobookee]

Your totaly right, i think i will most definately get a DNA test done as soon as the babys born. I would do it sooner but it would cause too much trouble and stress during my pregnancy i know this sounds selfish but i need to make my baby stress free as possible as all i have been doing is worrying for nearly 4 months now.

Its a risky thing and it could go either way i just hope to god it is my partners! the only thing making me believe its his is the fact that i had a period early july and not late like the mw says. Thanks for all the advice its really helping me to try and get thru this as yous are the only people who know this. A problem shared is a problem halfed, thanks alot everybody!

 

[kat86]

Hi hun, aw this is a tough situation and must be stressful for you! I would never judge someone for this! But I do believe you need to find out by dna test.... when I was 21 I found out that who I thought was my dad actually wasn't. My mum had held this secret all those years and it had torn her apart, not to mention how it turned my life upside down, I'm 25 now and still not over it, I forgive my mum for keeping it from me as she had her reasons to but its been tough on us all. I hope it all goes well for you and you get the results you want hun x X X

 

[chantilly]

Hiya sweet and big hugs i have been in your postion ....i partner went away for a few days no contact or anythingi was convinced our relationship was over and my ex had come back into town he was a real charmer and i ended up falling into bed with him .....my boyfriend came back and we talked things over i told him about sleeping with my ex and we sorted it out ....that month i conceived and to be honest was really worried it was my exs baby my partner refused point blank to have a dna as far as he was concerned the baby was his .....

looking at what you have said baby would have been conceived around the 9th as the girls said ...sperm can survive around five days .. with the baby i am now carrying ....the conception date comes out as the 31st and my partner and i had sex on the 29th so there was a few days between doing it and making baby

good luck whatever you decide to do hun ....personally i would say honesty is the best policy but only you can know if thats right for you

 

[BevG]

id say be honest too, lies always come back to bite you in the ass when its least convenient. it will be hard to do but id be unable to live with a lie like that. whatever you decide i hope it works out for the best

 

[boobookee]

Thats a very touching story & thanks alot for sharing it with me i apretiate it =) it will be the hardest thing to in my life but i know it will work out better in the long run, not for me but for babys sake plus all involved. I hope it all works out for you and i am sure your mum done wot she thought was best at the time.

Altho i say it will be hard and it will work out better, im now having second thoughts on mentioning anything at all as i realised yesturday that 8 days after my 1 night stand i met up with the person & he wanted to take me for a drink. Now i turned this down as i recall for a few weeks i had been "feeling" pregnant, even tho i didnt know what pregnant felt like but i told this feller i coudnt as i wasnt sure if i was pregnant or not. The next day i found out i was. I remember when telling him i didnt for 1 second think it could of been his as i only slept with him 8 days prior our visit. This is whats making me now re-think telling my partner at all as i spotted before meeting 1 night stand again and also remember feeling pregnant well before this.

Whats everybodys opinion on this please??

Thanks again all for your support i am so glad i come accross this website =)

 

[reillybaby1987]

I totally know what you are going through hunni, when I first joined this forum I had to kinda ask the same question as you as too who the father of my baby would be as I had sex with 2 different people within the same month which made things a bit hard to work out as i had my period half way through the month as well, and I was prepared to get a dna test done but its harder for me as im now on my own and none of the guys want to be around which suits me fine as i know i can do this on my own, hopefully your mind is at ease try not too worry or stress yourself out too much wont do you or baby any good xx

 

[Bee7]

Dating scans can be wrong. Mine put me almost two weeks forward and i knew it wasn't right because there was only one occasion where we didn't use protection! This is a really tricky situation. The fact is, however many opinions you get or however much we all speculate, the possibility is always going to be there and there's only one way to find out for sure: DNA test. If someone doesn't ejaculate then it's still possible to get pregnant but not as likely.

In regards to telling your boyfriend...it's a really hard situation. If you let him go through the pregnancy thinking the baby is his, then it turns out not to be hes going to be heartbroken. But if you tell him now and the baby DOES turn out to be his then you may have ruined your relationship over nothing. I wish i could offer you some more advice, but truly i'm stumped. Maybe your midwife could offer you some support, i'm sure they see this sort of thing a lot. No-one will judge you here, i just hope you can figure out the right thing to do and get the answer you want xxx