Plz help!!!!!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Saramayfair, Feb 14, 2012.

  1. Saramayfair

    Saramayfair Member

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    Hello ladies I would like to apologise in advance for my first post in the foru
    Being so irratic but I really am at my wits end and in desperate need of some help and advise.. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and feel like I am ready for an emotional breakdown :( anyway here goes I thought this issue was resolved at the beginning of my pregnancy but keeps coming bk to haunt me.. Me and my husband had a fall out bk in august last year and stupidly I thought it was over and had a stupid 1night stand with sumone else on 28th august I then had a period on 10th sept (my first period in over 3 years due to implant) I sorted things out with my husband and then found out I was pregnant on 12th oct (clearblue digital showed 2-3wks since conception) I had my first scan on 5th dec which showed I was 12wks 5days I spoke to my friends midwives doctors and researched the net which all said my husband was the father so I was relaxed about it until this guy found out a few weeks ago tht I am pregnant and he is telling everyone the baby is his and he wants a DNA so now I am very worried as my husband wants me to do he DNA to prove I have nothing to hide.. Which I will have to do and I am making myself I'll with worry over this I can't eat and haven't slept in over a week I am drained and this is not good for me or the bAby :( the more I try and work out the dates online the more confusing it gets as I only had one period I am unsure of my cycle length my due date is 13th June so I think my cycle was 25days?? Plz help me .. Does the first ultrasound scan tht said 12am 5days add 2weeks on like the online calculators? Any advise or opinions welcome again sorry for my huge rant thank you xxxx
     
  2. Bee7

    Bee7 Well-Known Member

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    I wish i could be more help, but dates etc have always confused me too. I know exactly when i fell pregnant (it could only have been the one occasion!) but when i had my dating scan they put me 2 weeks earlier! Apparently this is normal though, it's all v confusing. I'd say that if you had a period after the one night stand that surely you must have concieved afterwards?

    I suppose the only way to get a definite answer would be to take the DNA test but i understand how the worry of this is going to haunt you throughout the pregnancy. I guess your hubby knows about the one night stand and has forgiven you? Have you discussed what would happen if he wasn't the father? The other guy really shouldn't be going around telling people it's his child though, especially knowing that you are married. I wish i could offer you more advice but all i can say is try to focus on the pregnancy and keep as calm as you can. There's no way to resolve this until baby is born unfortunately so it's just a waiting game. I really hope everything works out for you hun xx
     
  3. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    all dates given by docs incorperate the 'free' 2 weeks so your right in thinking that conception was most likely with your husband. id take the dna test if the other guy is paying for it and prove it to him without fear. if you didnt sleep with him after your period it should be pretty certain that it isnt his baby. personally id want to take the test anyway so i could be totally certain and prove to all involved that i was right
     
  4. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

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    Agree with Bev and try to relax for the rest of your pregnancy xx
     
  5. Saramayfair

    Saramayfair Member

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    Thank you both for ur replies I jst can't stop myself from worrying as I know if this baby is not my husbands it would end our marriage and ruin my and my kids lives everythings been great since we got bk together and we are very happy if this was to have a negative outcome it would kill me :( I guess I'm jst so paranoid about the outcome as I only had the one period so nothin to look back on but war are the chances that I conceived in august with how many weeks I am? Could I have bled on 10th sept and already been pregnant? I have never done anything like this in my life before and have been happily married for 8years so
    Scared to lose it all over 1 mistake xxx
     
  6. poppypd

    poppypd Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure I can offer much help but I've heard that the 12 week scan is quite accurate date wise. If you bled properly I'm sure it must have been a period unless it was just a bit of spotting? at least you have things out in the open with your husband and I would sincerely hope he would love the baby regardless. I would do lots of relaxation techniques whatever it takes to try to keep yourself calm. Stay strong. X x
     
  7. jojobubs

    jojobubs Well-Known Member

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    I can't even imagine the worry you are going through, but the only way you are going to resolve it one way or the other is to have the test. If you had a period nearly two weeks after having sex I would think it unlikely it is the other blokes, but I'm afraid there is only one clear way to find out. If you don't have the test your husband is always going to wonder and it is bound to affect your marriage and possibly his feelings for the baby. I'm really sorry but I don't see any other way :hugs:
     
  8. Saramayfair

    Saramayfair Member

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    Thank you for all ur help I bled for 4days from the 10th sept so I'm guessing it was almost certainly a period im Jst trying to make sure my calculations are correct as there is so much conflicting information on the Internet and different ways to work out conception dates.. I guess all u want to know are what are the chances of me having conceived this baby at the end of august ..? How many weeks wud I be..? I really think sumthin bad is going to happen to me before the en of my pregnancy with all this worry it's getting out of control :( I really appreciate all ur help and support thank you xxxx
     
  9. Belle23

    Belle23 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with the others. If u had a proper bleed I couldn't imagine it being the other blokes cxx
     
  10. FirstBabyEek

    FirstBabyEek Well-Known Member

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    Me too, there's no chance it can be the other chaps with a period in between. Fx it all turns out right for you in the end. I would ignore the other bloke spouting his mouth off - I dont know many blokes that ever been good with knowing anything about periods and how our cycles work. xx
     
  11. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    if you had concieved at the end of august then surely it would be dated like 2 weeks before then making you about 26 weeks preg?
     
  12. Mrs.s

    Mrs.s Well-Known Member

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    Only help I can offer is this!

    I'm due on 4th June my lmp was 29th august and the conception date was the day after my birthday which was 16th september!

    I would say going by your dates baby is your husbands!
     
  13. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    If its any help, i am due on 15th June. LMP was 8th September and I ovulated around 23rd September which works out right for my dates at my 12 week scan.
    For you to have fallen pregnant on 28th August and have a due date of 13th June does not make sense at all because that's almost a month before I fell pregnant. Even accounting for sperm living inside you for 5 days plus the implantation sometimes taking a bit longer, 4 weeks is a lot to be out by. If it was 2 weeks I'd be a bit more concerned but it seems extremely unlikely if you ask me.

    I hope that offers you some reassurance x x
     
  14. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    Also, for your LMP to have been 10th September works out perfectly for your dates with your shorter cycle. My cycle is 29 days so although my LMP was before yours, you would have ovulated before me and therefore that's why you are dated 2 days ahead :) xx
     
  15. lyndsey_28

    lyndsey_28 Well-Known Member

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    hey hun try not to worry too much i am postin a link below which tells u the date u were likely to conceive and dates of last period etc


    http://www.baby2see.com/conception_calculator.html#ConceptionCalculator

    and from what it says from putting in ur dd its ur husbands as ur conception dates are between the 17th and 25th september :)

    i would just take the test if the other bloke is paying just to shut him up xx
     
  16. Saramayfair

    Saramayfair Member

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    Thank u again for all ur re assurance ladies it has helped to calm me down a bit :) deep down I believe this is
    My husbands baby it's jst even the thought of it not being makes me feel physically sick as
    I know my life wud be in ruins.. All opinions so far have been in my favour.. So I'm taking the chances of conceiving in august are very slim..? Thanking u all so much xxxxx
     
  17. Saramayfair

    Saramayfair Member

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    Thank u again for all ur re assurance ladies it has helped to calm me down a bit :) deep down I believe this is
    My husbands baby it's jst even the thought of it not being makes me feel physically sick as
    I know my life wud be in ruins.. All opinions so far have been in my favour.. So I'm taking the chances of conceiving in august are very slim..? Thanking u all so much xxxxx
     
  18. FirstBabyEek

    FirstBabyEek Well-Known Member

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    I would say so, using that conception calculator tool that Lyndsey posted, based on a due date of the 13th June (which is a great day btw because its my birthday:)) shows that your likley ovulation date was 21st Sept, three weeks after your one night stand - so IMO, that was a period on the 10th and therefore cant possibly be the other chaps.

    Show your husband that ovulation calculator tool, that will give him some confidence and allow him to enjoy your pregnancy too rather than worrying about it and having to wait until after your LO is born to find out.

    xxx
     
  19. Saramayfair

    Saramayfair Member

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    Do any of u ladies know how accurate the clearblue digital pregnancy tests are? Cos I used tht on 12th oct and it said 2-3 weeks since conception... ? Then my scan on 5th dec said 12weeks 5days.. Wud I actually only be 10weeks 5days as they add on the 2weeks or is this an exact measurement of baby's age at 12weeks 5days? This is all very confusing :/ thank u again for bein there for me as I have had nowhere else to turn :) thanxxxxxxxx
     
  20. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    I took a clear blue on 9th October and it said 2-3 weeks, meaning I was actually 4-5 weeks. This made sense as my period was 8th September, 4 and a half weeks before I took the test :) x x
     

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