your honest opinion on labour and what it's like

[claireyfairey]

Hello Yet another post from me...

I was just thinking...I've been watching a lot of programmes on labour and delivery (as you do) to try and prepare me for what's ahead. The women on these programmes seem to fall into two categories to me:

1) Hysterically screaming, begging for an epidural and telling everyone how awful it was afterwards; and
2) Calm, zen-like and telling everyone what a fabulous experience childbirth is.

Which leads me to my question; which category did you fit into? Were you hysterical or calm? The reason I ask is that I suffer anxiety and panic attacks...my biggest fear is that I will completely lose controll during labour but I really REALLY want to be calm and remember the experience as something positive, not something I never ever want to do again

So any tips you can give me, any anecdotes you'd like to tell...please send them this way! I really want to know what to expect

Cheers,

C xxx

 

[Tadpole]

I fall into the second one. My advice is to keep breathing loooong sloooow breaths. In for count of 20 and out for count of 20. It gives you something else to focus on other than the pain. Water is great as well.

Birth story below if you're interested.

It'll be fine for you - it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. The pain is in short bursts and you have time in between contractions when it doesn't hurt. Remember - each contraction is one less you have to do and one step closer to meeting your LO.

 

[daftscotslass]

I honestly think I was neither of the two. I'm also sure I was somewhere in the middle - you just deal with it in your own personal way. I won't lie, it was the most excrutiating pain I've ever experienced in my life but somehow the most exhilarating IYKWIM? I went through phases of begging for an epidural (let's not go there) but in the end did it on just G&A and was mighty proud of myself. EVERYONE should be proud of themselves for putting up with what our bodies are put through, no matter what pain relief you use or the method of delivery.

Something takes over... I don't know what. I never panicked. There was a point where I thought and said something along the lines of "Oh crap I can't do this any more, just knock me out completely and get the damn baby out!" but that's just a natural part of the process, apparently. Funnily enough the MW told me that this often happens at the transition phase when you're just about to start pushing - it means you're closer to having your baby in your arms so bear that in mind!

Go with the flow. I know it sounds corny but you'll deal with it in your own way. You can be screaming or grunting and groaning but it's not because you're hysterical or scared sh!tless it's just the way you deal with it and you'll do it in your own way. Ignore the TV programmes, they always choose the extremes, never the happy mediums.

I hope that makes an ounce of sense. No matter what happens you will be fine.

 

[fran_23]

I was fairly calm..i panicked a bit when the pushing stage came because it came so fast, i wasn't expecting it and i got scared when my contractions changed so dramatically from paiinful to painful and omg i think the baby is coming NOW!

But once the midwife examined me and said yes i can see the head on your next contraction i want you to push..i just listened to her advice and i calmed down she guided me through..once i knew what was happening to me i was weel able to stay calm and just go with it and do what i needed to do.

The truth is you just do not know how you will react until it happens..just concentrate on your breathing and whatever you feel naturally to do (it could be swaying or bouncing on ball, squatting or walking around) you will be fine! It doesnt matter if you scream through it or yawn..the end result is the important thing! Yes it hurts but it is more than worth it and trust me no matter how it goes you will still vow that you would do it again a million times over just to hold your new baby!

 

[fran_23]

Something takes over... I don't know what. I never panicked. There was a point where I thought and said something along the lines of "Oh crap I can't do this any more, just knock me out completely and get the damn baby out!" but that's just a natural part of the process, apparently. Funnily enough the MW told me that this often happens at the transition phase when you're just about to start pushing - it means you're closer to having your baby in your arms so bear that in mind!

Yeah my midwife told me that too..in the transitional stage they most likely hear.."i cant do this, can i go home now" etc..
its a good sign you'll soon see a baby apparantly! lol also agree that your body just takes over and you know what to do!!

don't be worried look how many women go on to have more babies it can't be that bad!!

 

[charlie84]

I have to say i was somewhere in the middle also, but i must say yes i was a bit vocal toward the end but i felt that this was the way i was gonna get baby out. I dont think i could have been quiet

I never panicked whilst in labour, it was painful and yes afterward i swore to never doing it again but i must say i am now wanting another baby

Everyone deals with labour in different ways but the end result is so amazing, the pain and discomfort makes it totally worth it

 

[*pud01*]

Hello Yet another post from me...

I was just thinking...I've been watching a lot of programmes on labour and delivery (as you do) to try and prepare me for what's ahead. The women on these programmes seem to fall into two categories to me:

1) Hysterically screaming, begging for an epidural and telling everyone how awful it was afterwards; and
2) Calm, zen-like and telling everyone what a fabulous experience childbirth is.

Which leads me to my question; which category did you fit into? Were you hysterical or calm? The reason I ask is that I suffer anxiety and panic attacks...my biggest fear is that I will completely lose controll during labour but I really REALLY want to be calm and remember the experience as something positive, not something I never ever want to do again

So any tips you can give me, any anecdotes you'd like to tell...please send them this way! I really want to know what to expect

Cheers,

C xxx

only advice i can give is to listen to your body when in labour... and take on board the midwives advice!
before i got a delivery room, got examined and pain relief was administered i fell into the first category as i was sat in the waiting room for 2 hours on a plastic chair and got to 5cms dilated on my own with just paracetamol to tide me over (not by choice) ! so was understandbly irrate!
once i was given a bed, examined and informed i was 5cms dilated i did feel calmer (and quite happy if im honest... things were happening ) then when the pain relief was administered i was uber chilled... even felll asleep for a few hours whilst still dilating (needed it hadnt slept for 3 nights! ) woke up 9 3/4 dilated .

dont worry about panicing your body takes over... cant explain it but it sort of tells you what to do, not you telling it if you get what i mean. i didnt feel panicy at all just had the attitude of 'right lets get this done'.

 

[lisa282]

I can honestly say i think i was neither of these, or rather was a combination of the 2! I was very calm through both of my labours and took things in my stride, but that doesnt mean i was quiet and serene through the pain. I did my share of grunting and groaning, but personally it just helped me focus and vocalise the pain, and is apparently very normal and healthy. I never became hysterical and neither was i the perfect earth mother who just breathes through it without any noise. Its just a natural reaction to the pain when bearing down to growl a bit, sounds very primitive but then childbirth is quite primitive if you choose to do it without major pain-blocking drugs.

Like the other posts have said you will naturally hit a wall and feel like you cant do anymore when you hit the transition stage, and i clearly remember crying that i couldnt do it, but then within minutes i had my baby. Its called labour for a reason, and i wont lie to you, it bloody hurts, but at the same time, its something we have been doing since the beginning of time, and i among others went back for a second time so its not so bad. You have to just focus on your prize at the end of the job and that will give you strength and reason enough to carry on.

I can honestly say neither of my births were as bad as i expected, and while it was probably the hardest thing i have ever done in my life, on both occasions it was a very positive experience and i would do it all over again happily. I now have 2 beautiful children and wouldnt change it for the world

 

[soverign]

I was praised for how calm and quiet I was! I didn't make a sound! I didn't feel any pain - just the urge to have a big poop! I was only on gas and air. The only negative part about my birth was having to have an episiotomy which has left me with a botched fanny which is constantly open to infection. But the whole birth its self was fab! I think if you start to panic and think about things you are going to make it worse for yourself. Labour is different for every woman. Just take it as it comes!

 

[Hazel]

Mine was very quick so didn't have much of a chance to really think about it too much and just got on with it. I did ask for drugs when I got to hospital but when I was told it was too late I just accepted it.

I did make a lot of noise and was aware I was doing so, wasn;t hysterical scraming just very loud groaning. I had all the pain in my back and when I was pushing her out I felt hardly any pain as the back was so bad. I listened to the midwife and was able to follow her instructions and didn't tear much because I'd had no drugs so I was very much in control and aware.

I'm looking forward to doing it again and am actually a little jealous of everyone who is about to pop .

 

[Tangerinedream]

I was in the middle really. I did ask for an epidural but I wasnt begging for it, I just turned to my MW and asked for one, she examined me and said yes. I did have my moments though like screaming WHY ISNT IT (epidural) WORKING and MY BUM! I did shout SH!T at one point but then appologised for swearing

 

[Tadpole]

Something takes over... I don't know what. I never panicked. There was a point where I thought and said something along the lines of "Oh crap I can't do this any more, just knock me out completely and get the damn baby out!" but that's just a natural part of the process, apparently. Funnily enough the MW told me that this often happens at the transition phase when you're just about to start pushing - it means you're closer to having your baby in your arms so bear that in mind!

Yeah my midwife told me that too..in the transitional stage they most likely hear.."i cant do this, can i go home now" etc..
its a good sign you'll soon see a baby apparantly! lol also agree that your body just takes over and you know what to do!!

don't be worried look how many women go on to have more babies it can't be that bad!!

I said this too! I also said I wasn't doing it again - but I would!! It is hard to explain because the memory of the pain really does go. I think ultimately it is the fear of the pain that is almost the worst bit. All my friends have children already (I am a late starter) and they all said the same thing to me. That it is not usually as dramatic as it is on tv. It does hurt but it is a purposeful pain. Try not to worry, hun. It'll be over before you know it and you'll be raring to do it again.

 

[mum2A&L]

both - when i wasn't zonked out because of the cocktail of drugs in my system, i was crying, screaming and saying i didn't want to be there anymore

 

[CH0C0H0LIC]

OMG I was in the first category big time!!!!

I was at the time the loudest most stressed mother the MW had ever had in the delivery suite Little do they know that this time I'm going to beat my record of 11yrs ago and probably be hell on legs!!

I do remember happy slapping my then partner during contractions (hey ho no regrets about that one!!) mainly because he was into any drugs he could get his hands on and I was fighting him for the gas and air! Fortunately this OH wouldn't deprive me of my desperately needed painkiller esp as he knows how deranged I would be without it.

Seriously though i have every intention of aiming for the 2nd category this time round... I'm going to keep mobile as much as possible and do what it takes to make the first stage as short as poss as last time I was induced and it took ages as David was nowhere near ready to make an entrance!!! This labour is going to be as quick as a big brother eviction

I'm sure you will be fine and believe me it's so worth it (even with the panic attacks, to be honest I didn't have time to have a panic attack til after the birth - the adrenaline kinda keeps you going iykwim)

Sarah xxx

 

[maybebaby]

I loved my labour, I'm looking forward to doing it again! I think a positive attitude and expectation can go so far in having a good labour. I absolutely trusted my body to do the right thing. I only had a very short labour and was calm at home the whole time so I never felt the need to scream for drugs - the only noise I really made was grunting a bit during the pushing stage, and reminding OH to make the midwives a cup of tea in between every few contractions!

Have you considered a home birth at all? I found it so much more relaxing to be in my own environment and it really helped me to feel that I was completely in control of what was happening. Unless there is a serious problem I'm determined to stay at home this time too. Birth story in my sig if you fancy a read!

Good luck with everything

 

[Squiglet]

I'd fall into catagory 1...

Mind most normal people get at least, paracetamol or gas and air.... or a nice pool.... if they are in full established labour in the hospital, on their back attached to monitors, not permitted to move for 8 hours... not me... I got nada, zilch, zip... Screaming was my pain relief.

 

[ASD123456]

There was a point where I thought and said something along the lines of "Oh crap I can't do this any more, just knock me out completely and get the damn baby out!" but that's just a natural part of the process, apparently. Funnily enough the MW told me that this often happens at the transition phase when you're just about to start pushing - it means you're closer to having your baby in your arms so bear that in mind!

Yeah my midwife told me that too..in the transitional stage they most likely hear.."i cant do this, can i go home now" etc..
its a good sign you'll soon see a baby apparantly! lol also agree that your body just takes over and you know what to do!!

Ahhh that explains a lot, there was only once when I begged for an epi, and thinking back it would have been when I was going through the transition stage- luckily it was too late for that but the MW told me I could have one which helped as I just got on with it thinking I was having one when really I was just getting closer to the end.

I think like some of the other girls I fall into the middle of the two catagories. It does hurt, I won't lie to you, but it is all over and forgotten about so quickly- even if you have a long labour it's over within days which is not a long time in the grand scheme of things. If you feel it's too much just ask for pain relief, you'll be fine and it'll all be forgotten about within week, after I gave birth I thought I'd never forget but now I can't wait to go through it all again.

Good luck honey, you'll be fine

Alex xxx

ETA- I swore I woluldn't make noises in labour. I did, big time and TBH you just don't care. Your mind is in a whole other place, I didn't scream but might have shouted 'fuck this hurts' a few times , and on numerous occasions said I couldn't do it and my main noise was loud grunting when pushing

 

[trixipaws]

i didnt fit into either category really. i did it without an epi, without any drugs at all actually! and i do say that childbirth for me was a wonderful experience and i have only fond memories of it. yet i did whimper quite a bit (and squeal towards the end) and my boyf said my eyes were rolling back "like i was posessed" and i was begging him to help me- poor guy didnt kno what to do!
near the end i was saying the stupidest things like "make this stop please!"

its interesting what daftscotslass says that really makes sense now. the bit right at the end which mustve been the transition phase was when i went all quiet (apart from groaning) i could hear the MW saying "this is the hardest bit" and she sounded all floaty and about 10 metres away, and i remember thinking i wanted to go to hospital and have a general anaesthetic and a c-section! the MW asked me did i feel like i needed to push and i said "no, i just want to go to sleep!"

i found it very hard to comprehend when i was pregnant how something so unimaginably painful can be recalled as a happy memory by all of the mums i'd asked about it said so. but now i TOTALLY get it. its utterly bizarre, but even tho it was beyond even how i'd imagined pain could be, i think fondly of it, have no qualms about doing it again some time in the future and im SO glad i did it i feel a strange sense of achievement!

theres a link to my birth story in my sig if u wanna read. thinking back i missed some things out (like the comment about wanting to go to sleep lol!) but also theres stuff there that i havent put here. xx

good luck!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

NEITHER

yeh it hurt - as you might expect it to but i didn't make a noise (i swore quietly once (and then apologised)) other than that i was quiet but it wasn't a calm zen like experience either!

 

[Emma58]

I'd say i fit into neither catergory as well.
With both George and Sam they popped out well before I had the chance to ask for gas and air let alone an epidural.

All I can remember saying when I had Sam was I needed a poo

It honestly just felt like I needed to do the biggest poo of my life then all i remember is feeling hot, then Sam being here.

I know I am one of the lucky ones though, both my labours have been relatively fast, no pain relief and over and done with before I knew it!