You really do find out who your friends are...

[x Mrs TS x]

I posted a while ago about worrying about telling my friend I was pregnant as I was a bridesmaid at her wedding and she'd made not so subtle hints that I needed to wait til after her wedding or be no more than 3 months gone. Anyway, we'd had a scare after an op I had last year where the surgeon mentioned we could struggle, but SHOULD be okay. Well that was enough to send us crazy as we'd desperately wanted a baby for a couple of years so we waited until I was better from that and some more procedures etc...and I fell pregnant straight away! We were over the moon.... but she wasn't.

I called her after a 9 week scan (beg of Nov) and she was...off with me as best I'd say. She said she'd have a think about what to do as I'd be 7 months at her wedding. The dress was an empire cut though so I was thinking maybe we could work some magic with it, get another one etc but I got a text about 10 mins later saying 'I think you should just be a guest'. She also said she'd just got all her stationery and my 'name was on the order of service, but oh well' so I was upset but thought fair enough, I'll still try to look forward to the day.

Well no invite came (and this is the most organised wedding on earth) and it's in April. Her friend was supposed to be letting me know some hen do details so I could sort what I was organising for it, but nothing. I put my scan pic on facebook and thought maybe she'd text to see how baby is/I am but literally not heard a thing from her since the text where she sacked me off! I went to message her yday and noticed she'd deleted me from facebook! My hubby, a couple of my friends she'd met through me too. We have been friends since meeting at uni 10 years ago and that's how she ends our friendship?!! It's like in sex in the city where thingy gets dumped by a post it on the fridge!

I really cannot believe that me having a baby has resulted in this?? I texted her asking what's going on but had no reply either. Just feels horrible that she could treat me like that although I know I'm hormonal.

Anyway I just thought I'd get it off my chest xx

 

[mrs_b_x]

Oh my god!!! From the title of ur thread and after remembering your post before I had an idea how this story would go but I never imagined you'd say that's what happened! She defo sounds like someone ur better off without! But even still, not nice. Hope ur ok xxx

 

[mishi]

That's outrageous behaviour! What a horrible way for a 'friend' to behave.

She sounds like a right bridezilla that you're better off without!

I'm sure you'd have looked lovely in your dress. How dare she think she can dictate to people when they should get pregnant just because it suits her for ONE day?? I'm astounded tbh!

xxxx

 

[keeptrying]

Just feel sorry for the bloke she's marrying, laugh about it, and enjoy your pregnancy xx

 

[SunnySue]

She is no friend hun, friends do not treat eachother like that. Her behaviour is disgusting tbh! If she were reallyyyour friend she would be happy for you. She is probably jealous. Jealous that you are having a baby and jealous that maybe your being pregnant would give you attention when she wants all for herself. Its upsetting but you are better off without people like her in your life x

 

[x Mrs TS x]

It's just left me feeling like I've done something wrong, I know it takes two to get in touch etc but I was really hurt she reacted the way she did and thought she'd make an effort to smooth it out or I'd feel better when the invite arrived but nothing. I know she had the invites at the beginning of Nov so obviously I wasn't going to be a guest from the start either.

We are very different (she was my bmaid and I wouldn't have cared if all of them were about to drop, in fact I'd have loved having the bumps in the pics as a little reminder!) and her husband to be is actually lovely too. Maybe when it's all done and dusted she'll realise but she obvs doesn't care at the minute! x

 

[Mummybexee]

Good god of go around to her house and confront her - what a selfish cow

Looks like you don't need people like that In your life anyway - if hate to have a 'friend' like that! Terrible

Don't let it upset you - you and your family are far more important than her throwing her toys out the pram x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Good riddance I say.
With friends like that, who needs enemies.
Two of my bridesmaids will be pregnant on my wedding day and another is ttc, I wouldn't dream of treating anyone like that, let alone a friend.
I would confront her, but only to tell her she's pathetic, needs to grow up and get a grip and enjoy her life!

 

[jojo3972]

Wow what a cow that's putting it lightly and a spineless one at that deleting u and ignoring you she is acting like a spoilt child and I would say ur better off without her! Wander who the lucky girl was who got to wear ur dress as a second thought she must feel realy special :-/ , screw it enjoy ur pregnancy and think about how lucky you are to have for to know the real person she was gd riddons xx

 

[Sophiejane]

I remember your original post. She's done u a massive favour love, there's no other way to describe her than a massive jealous bitch. Enjoy the rest of your life without her in it, that's what I say x

 

[Natalilly1288]

That's terrible Hun she's def no friend I no how you feel tho as I've seen my best friend twice since being preg and it hurts so much she doesn't want to share this special time with me chin up Hun sending you a big hug xxxxxx

 

[Toria111]

Maybe look at it as best to find out now rather than later. You don't need people like that in your life. Things change when you become a mum, and you will find you make much stronger relationships with people you will literally rely upon.

 

[x Mrs TS x]

Thanks for your replies girls, I know on here that everyone is honest so appreciate them. Yeah I'm in two minds really as feel like confronting her but I know what she's like, she won't answer her phone (she lives over an hr away) and then I just think stuff it, why waste an ounce of my energy (which is in short supply at the mo...zzzz lol). I've listened to enough of her dramas over the years to know that perfectly reasonable people have been deemed the devil by her, just for not dancing to her tune and then she just buries her head in the sand. I mean it was only when I visited in Sept that she spent the entire time crying about how her husband puts his family instead of her first...we ended up staying at her Mum's cos she didn't want to see him and I wasn't even sure there was going to be a wedding!

Aw Natalilly that's so sad, you imagine sharing these times with the people close to you not the opposite. I literally have never felt so happy though and sure you're the same (feel like I'll pop sometimes!!). Knowing you're going to be a Mummy soon really puts things into perspective and I'm sure we'll all make lots of lovely Mummy friends soon. All of my other friends have been brilliant and I'm glad I know where I stand now. Onwards and upwards xx

 

[Tootsmaloy]

Gosh thats a terrible way for her to behave!! She needs a big glass of perspective id say! Getting married is about having your nearest and dearest there with you to share your special day, bumps and all!!

Im so sorry shes treated you this way. Just you wait, she'll fall pregnant at some point and then she'll come looking for her mummy friends! Pfft.

 

[dingdongbaby]

I'd let her go - not a friend at all!

Imagine the poor husband to be and the bridesmaids dealing with her! Wow. It's sad really.

I can't believe anyone - let alone a 'friend' - would want their own warped "picture perfect" wedding so much that they fully expected friends not take the next happy milestone in THEIR lives in order to be a part of it.

If she thought any of her friends had gained weight or got a bad haircut would she axe them from the line-up too? What about someone having an accident and being left scarred? God, her attitude is making my head hurt!

Instead of worrying I'd just print a copy of this thread off and post it to her...let her see what people actually think of her actions who aren't worried about being cut-off for life!

 

[ClimbingRose]

That is horrible! I had what I thought was a really good friend a few years ago who messed me over big time. Eventually I realised she was just a nut case, but for a long time I felt it was all my fault! So try not to blame yourself. You are most deffo better off without her. She cant tell people when to not have a baby! Thats the behaviour of someone totally self obsessed. She obviously thinks you'll steal the limelight from her, and cant deal with the thought!
Yes being pregnant really does sort the good from the bad, friend wise. But as other ladies have said (and what is keeping me feeling positive) is that you meet new people who become really really good friends. Just make sure you join some interesting pregnancy groups, such as yoga, hypnobirthing, or whatever might be in your areas for expectant mums, and you'll soon meet people! xx

 

[babysunshine]

she is the lowest person ever. Your baby is more important and you have better things to sort out for your baby.

i had a friend who use to say she would. Never do the things for me that i did for her, i always went out of my way for her when i set my wedding she accused me of something random and stopped contact. Selfishness and jealousy are both bad in friendship

 

[Cherrybelly]

She's not worth your time. Her loss and all that. I wouldn't waste one more ounce of energy on her, selfish cow!! X

 

[Jayjay027]

Wow! I can only reiterate what everyone else has said really, ur better off well rid of a 'friend' like that! What a selfish, nasty bitch!!
Chin up hun, shes not worth ur time xx

 

[Jojo84]

theres a girl i used to be very close friends with... i uses to pop on a train and travel for 3 hours when she needed to talk and help look after her little boy for a few days when she was stressed and depressed and she never useed to o anything for me that wasnt about her.

she was down to be mny bridesmaid - i picked a dress she would be comfortable wearing because of her body issues sand i rearranged fittings four times - which made life hard as i have 2 other bridesmads from another part of the country weho had to attend at the same tinme... in the end after getting the material for her dress she didnt turn up when she was supposed to be measured and said she didnt want to be walking infront of everyone at my wedding and for everyone to be looking at her. anyway i was pissed but said i understood as long as she was still there...

well the invites were going out and i sent her invite only to get a msg on fb to say she couldnt go as there wasa rugby match on that weekend in wales and she was going to go and have a girls weekend after it with some friends in swansea ... after everything id done for her a football match was mnore important... she said she didnt know the date but honestly id have rang to check before committing to go to the match as it was around the same time. this was a girl who at one point had been one of my best friends.

sometimes you just find out that those people youd move heaven and earth for wouldnt do the same for you. its so very sad but lewt them get on with it and spend your time and energy on those who deserve your time.