YOU AND OH

[NICCI]

i was just wondering how u and your oh relationship has changed since having ure LOs!!
r u stronger or have u drifted apart!!!
at first i felt we were stronger but im not sure now!!

 

[LisaJ1986]

Hmm, When i found out i was pregnant we were about as close as you could get. After we're still close, he just has a bit of trouble coping with my hormones. I get mad when he refuses to do nappies and he creates just as much mess as baby and won't help clear it up.

 

[poppy160]

Stronger

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hi - I would say we are stronger in many ways e.g. -

*We both take equal responsibility for Imogen (emotionally, practically etc.)
*We are more considerate of each other since Imogen was born as we are more sympathetic to the stresses each has
*We totally work as a team with regards to baby and house stuff
*Silly arguments we used to have either just don't happen (I am more laid back about stuff and OH is more organised etc.) as Imogen/sleep/eating! is more important or we difuse them quicker as we have Imogen to consider.
*I think we have less doubts about each other - maybe before Imogen if we argued we might say "I don't know if I can cope with this relationship" or "I've had enough"- we never ever split up but came close a few times. Now I think we know we are strong as a couple and will stick together... I think we might have always had the "grass is greener" thought in the back of our minds as we both led very single, independent lives before... but now I KNOW he is my prince and I don't want anyone else. So I think that makes us stronger.

But....

There is less intimacy (lack of time/opportunity mainly but also lack of energy and libido )

But generally STRONGER for sure....

 

[budge]

i was just wondering how u and your oh relationship has changed since having ure LOs!!
r u stronger or have u drifted apart!!!
at first i felt we were stronger but im not sure now!!

both -

we have got stronger coz we have children to support and be there for and we have grown apart as a couple coz we aren't one anymore we are a family and we don't to together things as much anymore AS a couple. I still feel very close to hubby though - its hard to explain.
I think when you have kids you have to expct your relationship to change - you are no longer a couple - you are a family and you have to adjust to it. You have to put your relationship as a couple on hold for a while and concentrate on your children.

 

[zebrastripes]

Stronger, definitly. Mainly because it has changed from a "teenage" relationship into a more "adult" relationship. I still feel slightly nostalgic for back in the day, but now, although we don't have the same free time, we are far more secure,supportive, and trusting of each other.

 

[lfc_sarah]

Were definately stronger

For the same type of reasons Zebrastripes said really...

I used to be a big party girl, now im more about family, naturally

 

[NIE]

I have to watch what I say here as DH is a member of this forum.

Definitely would say that we have got closer although we have had a few cross words with regards to family members and him not doing as much as I think he should be doing. xxx

 

[mamichuli]

Stronger...more appreciative of how lucky we are to have each other ... and definitely in awe of how fortunate we are with our children, both those I brought into the relationship and the one we had together. We cherish the time we have together..maybe less quantity than before Ani was born, but more intense. We both feel that the really important point is in how well we work together as a couple. We have our rough patches, financing a family with three children aint easy, but we manage and get quite a lot of fun out of it too!

Lisa

 

[ASD123456]

I would say stronger at this point. He's so good with Rudy, helps a lot and is supportive. I also feel like our relationship has changed to a whole new level, like Zebrastripes said it is more 'adult'. We've been quite lucky that nothing has really had to change too much since the baby arrived (except me forming an allergy to housework) so there hasn't been too much of a strain on our relationship, so for now things are good.

Alex xxx

 

[Babylicious]

Stronger - we pull together a lot more now.

 

[lisa&alex]

our relationship hasnt changed really.. i think we both feel pressures (he works alot of overtime - not because we need the money really but because work need him) which in turn puts pressure on me because hes knackered when he gets home from work..etc etc etc..

we are definatly stronger now. a few months ago i would have said we were haivng a few niggles, but i truly think you need to realise each other, talk lots and have some 'couple' time even if its a saturday night dvd and a cooch

 

[Becky]

Hi - I would say we are stronger in many ways e.g. -

But....

There is less intimacy (lack of time/opportunity mainly but also lack of energy and libido )

But generally STRONGER for sure....

I agree with this 100%. It's a big change and sometimes it's hard to feel close sometimes just based on the lack of time/opportunity/energy to have the intimacy, and not just physical intimacy, we used to have a lot of communication etc. but now instead of being able to talk about our stuff it's more about mundane housekeeping/childcare issues then when that's all sorted it's a case of not having much energy.

But on the whole we're stronger as we've both learnt a lot of patience and tolerance!

 

[Sylvie]

Definitely stronger

 

[Princess_Puddles]

We are nothing like we used to be but thats to be expected when you have a family. I was once told a child can make or break a relationship, it certainly hasn't broken us but we're not as close as we were before and I dont think we ever will be, its been 2 years nearly and things are no were near changing.

 

[VickiH]

Thank you for posting to this thread ladies. One of the things that worries me about having children (even though we're keen to have them!) is that our relationship will change for the worse... Right now it works because we are both able to be independent and we have free time and a bit of spending money to play with but of course a baby would change that. It's nice to hear so many positive comments in that whilst relationships change a lot of the time it's for the positive!

 

[cez8457]

My OH and I drifted apart after having our LO, i stuck with it and after 10 months of rowing etc, things started to get back to normal and we are now stronger than ever.

 

[chickadee1976]

Im not sure what will happen with us.
We are very close and enjoy spending our time together.
We both have children already, i think the problems will arise from each others families and also from different parenting styles.

Im fairly strict, Brian is laid back and verges on doing nothing to the extent that he just lets them misbehave rather than giving them a row.

I do know that as both of us have brought up our first children alone we are both united on keeping our family together so will work at things, but i do see a few arguements in our future

 

[dina.marie]

its nice to see so many positive posts!

 

[claire2711]

Stronger definetly!!!
Having LO has "cemented" our relationship....we are a wee family now