Worried about what people might say..

[cassi]

Hi, tbh i am one of them people that really couldnt give 2 shits about what people think, but i do get upset sometimes and i will tell someone outright if they offend me in maybe not the kindest way.

So here are my worries, they way i decide to be with my child and some choices that i have made i am a bit worried that i will get offended for it.

Firstly im worried about people looking at me weird and saying things behind my back because i am going to bf (hopefully nothing goes wrong with that) not because im bf'ing that is normal, but because im young, and its not often you see teen mothers breastfeeding and i know that to some people it is 'strange' (this i have been told from a friend of mine who is a teen parent and was bf'ing and stopped in the end because of people)

Secondly im going to try and cook all my own baby food and not use canned baby foods, i have no problem with people who do but i personally think they have alot of crap shoved into them and so for me i feel that home cooked is better cause i know exactly what goes in it.
And i will not be giving Jakob sweets as snacks, in my opinion a child only gets a taste for sweets by been given sweets, i really want to encourage him to enjoy having fruit or yoghurts as snacks or breadsticks as apose to sweets, again i have no problem with people that give their children sweets, my sister lets my neice have sweets and i will happily give Ellie sweets cause that is my sisters preference and i have no problem with that whatsoever . There is children in nursery who are on a low sugar preference and they will always ask for fruit or yoghurt as a snack and dont care for sweets whatsoever cause they havnt been given a taste for them

Now my worries are mostly on the second subject, i dont want people questioning my veiws constantly, do you think that will happen? I know some people will see someone with a child and instantly start chatting to them and then if they have sweets or something offer one to them, im worried about saying no he dosnt have sweets and them sticking their nose up at me and questioning that, "why it wont kill him blah blah" but why does he need to have sweets? I also dont want to have to worry about leaving him with someone else, family or friend for a few hours and them giving him things like that behind my back cause i will never know. If these veiws wernt yours but you knew they were mine and you were to look after my child for a day (per say) would you follow my wishes, or go against them because il never know, and you have a pack of sweets in you're hand so what the hell?

So with me having these veiws, would you stick you're nose up to me in the street and look at me funny and mutter under you're breath, or do you think i will be respected for following my own veiws?

Please please please please dont turn this thread into an argument. I have endeavoured to let you all know that I, in no way have a problem with ANYONES veiws and that i respect everyones choices in parenting, the things i wont do are my decision and opinion and i dont think bad of people who do these things. Anyways, im sure i wont have the energy to cook home meals all the time so tins will be used once in a while too .

Cassi xxxx

 

[beanie]

I had most of those beliefs too hun, (the food one has gone out the window as she has jars half the week and my food the other half). I have had quite a few comments but I try not to let it get to me. There are those that tut as I am feeding Seren in public but I just ignore them or take her off the boob and ask if they prefer that instead (she screams), or if someone asks why I am still feeding her or co-sleeping I tend to have a list of facts which shuts them up. Everyone parents how they feel is best for them and their child. Just keep believing in yourself

 

[Jo]

Cassi i am totally with you on this one, I don't Bf and never had as that is my preferance but i applaud anyone who does.

I make most of Jacks food and did with Emily, i enjoy doing it and know exactly what goes into it, and you can pack most of the '5 a day' into 2 meals no problems.

i banned Emily from having sweets and came up against the problem you are worrying about, you just have to stand firm and let your veiws known although this does become harder as they get older and are at friends houses who do have sweets.

Emily now has a tub of sweets but also a full fruit bowl to help herself to and will often choose fruit over sweets.

I have the same veiws with Jack although i am more relaxed if some one wants to give him something sweet, as long as it is only a taste and not a full bag of buttons i think it is fine, i tend to always have dried fruit in my bag, they can have the sweetness but it is still good for them

At the end of they day you are they childs mum and what you say should go

 

[Dee1985]

Cassi i understand how you feel i was the same i was intending to give breastfeeding a go with Harley but the way my dad speaks about it, he said he would leave the room ect. so i just went with bottle feeding.
as for the sweets. when you leave baby with other people you will have to tell them straight. i still have problems with my MIL because she knows best but dior will be more happy to eat grapes rather then chocolate. she still has treats but as and when i say. but mother in law sends her home with loads
expect the tuts and people telling you other wise but just follow what you want.
im very strict with a few things and iv just had to stick to it. and not let people tell me other wise

 

[cassi]

Thanks , yeah i dont see the problem in BF'ing, people tut if you do it in public, and guys look horrified, but they would have no problem looking at girls tits in magazines!! Everyone knows how good BF'ing is for children (as is formula), yet when people practise it, everyone acts so astonished!!! Its not like they can see anything for gods sake there is a babys head covering it all up. I will probably co-sleep aswell, not full time but when Alan is on nights, i would worry about him been in between us both because i move alot, and would worry about him getting squished between us. And depending on how much help i get from the doc with my back in future i will probably try and use a sling as much as possible too.

And i too will probably end up using jars, but all the food will be mine anyway, i will cook meals for me Alan and Jay and just puree jays up and freeze them every week, and if i dont feel like cooking il either use jars of organic Hipp or the ready frozen fresh baby meals...cant remember what they are called? but you can get organic ones too.

cas x

Edit: When i replied to this post i had only read Beanies post, i will read the others now and reply to them seperatly

 

[Rosieroo]

Cassi I think you're beliefs are fantastic and the people that don't agree with them aren't worth worrying about

As for the bf as a teenager - my friend was 19 when she had her first bub who she fed for 6 months, her 2nd followed 18 months later and she fed for a year. There are some younger bf mums out there Although I'm 24 so positively ancient

My mum thinks that it's nice to give babies something 'yummy' to eat. When she decided to stock up on a few snacks for Ella for round there I worry about my mum stuffing her full of sweets when I'm not there and so far she hasn't looked after her alone, but that will change at some point. She knows how I feel and that I don't want Ella getting used to have the wrong types of food as I don't feel it's healthy, but it's a battle. I guess that at the end of the day it's not going to kill her by having some sweets, but I wont be happy about it.

Everyone has their different opinions and parenting techniques. I don't think you'll be cast out on your ear for yours though hon

 

[skatty]

I think it is up to you what your choices are. My friends give their kids sweets so when I visit I always take some round and my mate made a joke about how I give their kids sweets but I wont allow my own to have any. I thought about this and realised she is right. I wont give sweets until she is old enough to understand they are a treat.

My SIL's toddler isn't allowed any sugar. I find it hard when he family are all sitting around eating cakes and ice cream but she is only allowed a carrot, she is getting older now and cries because she wants what everyone else is having. I wont eat stuff in front of my kid that she's not allowed to have.

In Denmark if a child has sweets, cake or biscuits in their lunchbox they have to take it home again. I think this is great for encouraging healthy eating at an early age.

As for jars they are really expensive over here and as I work at home I plan to make my own babyfood. I have been reading the health and nutrition threads and have got loads of tips!

Good for you planning to breastfeed too, you can always be discreet about it. Its nothing to do with anyone else anyway

 

[Urchin]

Cassi

Your views are great IMHO and I would say if anyone has a problem tell them to stick it!
People might question your views, but maybe have set replies ready to change the subject?
I don't see why you should worry about saying your views anyway, becasue at the end of the day you are doing it for all for your child's benefit so how can it possibly be wrong?

 

[cassi]

Thanks for all the kind replies, Dionne its a shame about you're dad, I think i will be too shy at first to BF infront of my parents, i dont know why as i dont think il care about doing it in public so much lol...

Also i was shopping the other day and along side the sweets i saw little packs of dried fruit in really funky and appealing packages for lunchboxes etc and that was really nice to see and it shows that they are encouraging this much more now. The other day i had a little snack pack of coconut pieces, it had kids written on the packaging with a little smiley face, and i thought, if they had this when i was little it would of really appealed to me, its a shame they didnt, i think when we were little it was all about sweets and there wasnt really anything like that availiable.

I really hope that i can trust my family not to go against my wishes if i leave J with them sometime. I will also try my best not to spoil him, even though im a sucker for it, i spoil my neice you should of seen how many xmas pressies i got her lmao im terrible! But i am really really hoping when he is older i can teach him well enough that when i go into a shop and he says he wants something i can say no and thats the end of it, cause i was terrible for that when i was little and i ended up always getting what i wanted bless my moms cotton socks.

cas x

 

[emilia]

You're taking a great approach to parenting - enjoy it!

Emilia xx

 

[cassi]

I think it is up to you what your choices are. My friends give their kids sweets so when I visit I always take some round and my mate made a joke about how I give their kids sweets but I wont allow my own to have any. I thought about this and realised she is right. I wont give sweets until she is old enough to understand they are a treat.

My SIL's toddler isn't allowed any sugar. I find it hard when he family are all sitting around eating cakes and ice cream but she is only allowed a carrot, she is getting older now and cries because she wants what everyone else is having. I wont eat stuff in front of my kid that she's not allowed to have.

In Denmark if a child has sweets, cake or biscuits in their lunchbox they have to take it home again. I think this is great for encouraging healthy eating at an early age.

As for jars they are really expensive over here and as I work at home I plan to make my own babyfood. I have been reading the health and nutrition threads and have got loads of tips!

Good for you planning to breastfeed too, you can always be discreet about it. Its nothing to do with anyone else anyway

Thats funny cause i was thinking about that the other day, i will still give Ellie sweets when i see her because she is allowed, but i will ask my sister not to give Jakob any, do you think that sounds nasty? I hope she understands that this is just my veiw and dosnt take it bad, would you?

cas x

 

[Dee1985]

it was prob because my mum never bf any of us, not one person in the entire family did, so in converstaion i asked "dad do you think bf is wierd"
he was like your not are you?
i said what would you be like if i did he said "well il just leave the room, then my 18yr old brother was like errrrrr me to. i dont want to see your boobs. mum was like fine but dont do it round the kids. i was going so red and thought stuff it they would make me feel like a freak.

my mum is very set in her ways lol

 

[beanie]

Cassi my gramps is really embarrassed about breastfeeding (bless him) so I will feed Seren under a blanket now (before I used to go upstairs but I don't need to take my top off anymore hehe)

 

[cassi]

hehe parents and grandparents ey! I know what you mean Dionne i will always take to heart what comes from my parents more than anyone else. its hard not too. and i expect the same responce from my brother who is 17, i will definatly get the eurghhh from him!! lol

I think bf'ing however is somthing that is slowely coming out abit more and hopefully in a few years time there will be a whole new opinion on it.

 

[beanie]

I just think the only way to make it more acceptable is to show how natural it is. My OH's mates at first were all "ooh a booby" and "bitty" but now don't bat an eye, and that is saying something for a bunch of 24 year olds hehe

 

[Rosieroo]

My stepdad is weirded out a bit by my bf, but he's got used to it now. We're pretty discreet and most of the time he didn't realise what was happening! Fil still leaves the room. I bf in front of Matt's gran and grandad a couple months back and they were totally fine about it, but I thought that his grandad might feel a little awkward, bless.

 

[Jo]

Asda do great little packs of dried fruit, trpical ones and allsorts

I always have a few jars or packets of food in, incase i ahve been dozy and forgotten to take it out of freezer HIPP do a great mash potatoe with rosemary, so you could just add the veggies you have had with that, it last ages as you only need a little bit

*top tip for older babies* Tesco do a valeu tub ideal for freezing for 33p is in homeware section, if you buy tubs from baby section they are 1.99 for 4!!!

 

[cassi]

I got some freeze cube blocks from PHP at the baby show along with a fantastic feeding set with spoons, bowls with lids, beakers etc etc etc.

I wont be offended if people leave the room when i BF because i dont think its them not accepting my veiws or been rude, i just think it makes some people feel uncomfortable which is understandtable, and makes people worry that you think they are staring at your boobs when they arnt.

cas x

 

[Tam]

Hi, tbh i am one of them people that really couldnt give 2 sh*ts about what people think, but i do get upset sometimes and i will tell someone outright if they offend me in maybe not the kindest way.

So here are my worries, they way i decide to be with my child and some choices that i have made i am a bit worried that i will get offended for it.

Firstly im worried about people looking at me weird and saying things behind my back because i am going to bf (hopefully nothing goes wrong with that) not because im bf'ing that is normal, but because im young, and its not often you see teen mothers breastfeeding and i know that to some people it is 'strange' (this i have been told from a friend of mine who is a teen parent and was bf'ing and stopped in the end because of people)

Secondly im going to try and cook all my own baby food and not use canned baby foods, i have no problem with people who do but i personally think they have alot of crap shoved into them and so for me i feel that home cooked is better cause i know exactly what goes in it.
And i will not be giving Jakob sweets as snacks, in my opinion a child only gets a taste for sweets by been given sweets, i really want to encourage him to enjoy having fruit or yoghurts as snacks or breadsticks as apose to sweets, again i have no problem with people that give their children sweets, my sister lets my neice have sweets and i will happily give Ellie sweets cause that is my sisters preference and i have no problem with that whatsoever . There is children in nursery who are on a low sugar preference and they will always ask for fruit or yoghurt as a snack and dont care for sweets whatsoever cause they havnt been given a taste for them

Now my worries are mostly on the second subject, i dont want people questioning my veiws constantly, do you think that will happen? I know some people will see someone with a child and instantly start chatting to them and then if they have sweets or something offer one to them, im worried about saying no he dosnt have sweets and them sticking their nose up at me and questioning that, "why it wont kill him blah blah" but why does he need to have sweets? I also dont want to have to worry about leaving him with someone else, family or friend for a few hours and them giving him things like that behind my back cause i will never know. If these veiws wernt yours but you knew they were mine and you were to look after my child for a day (per say) would you follow my wishes, or go against them because il never know, and you have a pack of sweets in you're hand so what the hell?

So with me having these veiws, would you stick you're nose up to me in the street and look at me funny and mutter under you're breath, or do you think i will be respected for following my own veiws?

Please please please please dont turn this thread into an argument. I have endeavoured to let you all know that I, in no way have a problem with ANYONES veiws and that i respect everyones choices in parenting, the things i wont do are my decision and opinion and i dont think bad of people who do these things. Anyways, im sure i wont have the energy to cook home meals all the time so tins will be used once in a while too .

Cassi xxxx

Cassi, I have very similar views to you, I want to BF if poss (wasn't very successful last time), I want to make baby's own food too (I am making for us, why not throw babies on the mixer?!) and I don't mind sweets, but in moderation........my DD does not have sweets every day and loves her fruit & veg, and I do get annoyed at times, as I will say to my sister, Just let her have one 2 finger kitkat as oppose to 2 of them.......which she may do, but then I may find out she had cake and other crap on top of it all.............. I am not just worried about chocolate, it is junk food full stop.....so if she had a piece of cake, then no chocolate at all....I don't want her having a sweet tooth, I want her to be healthy and happy!!! I was overweight as a child and I blame that on my Dad, we were always MADE to finish our dinners and fed sweets rather than fruit.....I want different for my little girl & baby! We want and eat what we are used to and enjoy as a result.

My DD had quite a lot of homemade foods as I lived with my Mum & Dad and Mum always thru our food in the liquidiser......she loved it and probably explains why she loves her veg and home made dinners!! Which I am very proud of..........she is the only Little 'un out of my families kiddies, who will opt for potatoes & veg or mash & veg over chips.......and would rather have chicken than a cheeseburger......although she does like to have a Burger King once in a while!!

I respect anyones wishes with their child and I believe we ALL have the right to bring our kiddies up as we see fit and any wishes should therefore be respected! No one is asking people to change how they feed their child or bring them up, just respect how I wish to bring mine up!...............Why is that so hard for some people?! It is not a lot to ask!

Good Luck hun and I hope it all goes well, I am sure it will xx

 

[fran_23]

do you know what hun, at the end of the day your doing what you feel is best for your baby and no one else has the right to judge any of your decisions. if anyone was to make a comment to me about the way i'm bringing up my child i'd tell them where to go (and i wouldnt be polite)
your doing the best so dont be worried about what other ppl think..they should get on with their own lives and not stick their noses in other ppls! grr sorry i just dont worry about what other ppl think because Hayden is my child and i'll do what i want!!! hehe