worried about telling mum :-s

[cherelle]

I cant stop worrying about telling my mum and her side of the family that im pregnant! Although my OH is 32 i am only 22 and my family have ALWAYS strongly encouraged me not to have kids until at least early thirties - mainly i think because my mum had me and my brother very young and struggled as a single mother.

Im going to visit my mum in 2 weeks and stay at hers (she lives in Nottingham and i now live in Cardiff) and theres no way ill be able to hide it because im constantly sick, ive already got a noticeable mini bump and i just think she'll know :-s

Me and my mum are good friends now but she did have a lot of problems in my childhood and there was a time in my early teens when i was sent away and i didnt talk to her for years! So communication has never fully recovered from that really.

Do you think i should tell her face to face? Or maybe break the news by phone beforehand so she has time to react and take it in?

Sorry for long post and thanks for reading! xx

 

[MrsR]

I was terrified of telling my mum as I was young when had DD and she's spent the last 6 years saying 'no more children' to me! I have a very very rocky relationship with my mum and didn't speak to her for about a year when I left home and then for 6 months when DD was 2 (in fact her and my oldest sister haven't spoken in 7 years!) but our relationship got better when I moved to the other side of the country to be with my OH!

Anyhoo, I phoned my mum to tell her and *shock horror* she was absolutely over the moon! I couldn't believe her reaction! She was really really happy to know she was going to be a nana again! You never know, your mum might surprise you!

As for telling her face to face vs over the phone only you can know what will work best for you. Personally I'd do it over the phone before you go to stay with her so that she has time to take it in and you won't be stuck in a place with her if her reaction isn't great x

Good luck x

 

[cherelle]

thanks for the reply Helen, yeah i think i will phone her before i go and tell her. True - she may suprise me, i guess you never know! x

 

[pinkymum]

Hey Hun,
Just wondering if you told your mum yet and how it went? I was scared to tell
Mine too. Also very difficult relationship and didn't talk to her for 4 years in my early 20's but she took it alot better than I thought she would and is really excited!
Hope all is ok!
X x x x

 

[cherelle]

aww thanks Pinkymum, no i havent plucked up the courage to do it yet :-s

Im going to visit at the end of the month so ill have to do it before then but im so nervous! At least when its done with i can relax though x

 

[FallingStar]

Aawww, nothing much to add other than I hope it all goes well for you xxx

 

[Nanc]

Hey again Cherelle,

I am 39 and am dreading telling my mum! It doesn't matter how old you are... It's the reaction that's the worry! She will be so happy (she's been waiting a while lol) but I am sure she will make me even more anxious and she has a tendency to smother! I am therefore not telling her until about 13 weeks, which She'll be really upset about. I have this fantasy that I turn up about 6 months pregnant and say "guess what?" lol. X

 

[cherelle]

lol Nanc .. do it!!

 

[Archiesmummy]

Hi hun. Im 22 and having my second and i just walked in to the house and told them both straight up lol Im lucky that me and my mum are best mates and she is happy for me but im sure she will surprise you, mums are funny things and can be so happy about being nanna Hope it all goes ok and im sure she will be happy xx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Hi hun,

My mam got pregnant with me when she was 15 and she has always advised me to wait til im in my 30s...im only 20 now ill be 21 at xmas. I used to joke to her about her being a grandma and she used to joke back but in a way that hurt me because i was trying to get pregnant at the time and she didnt know...but when i told her she was so laid back about it...and after my mc she knows how much i wanted it and now she so supportive and pleased for me!

Once it sinks in she will be supportive of you im sure, if she hasnt been expecting it, it maybe take a few days to take in but she will be happy for you. Its upto you whether you say over phone or not...i told my mam straight away, i dont think it matters if its over phone or not, maybe if it was she would adjust to the idea before you go down so you could chat about it? hope this helps a little bit xxx