*** Working Mum's Support thread ***

[CARNAT22]

Just wondering who here is back to work and how you are coping with the demands of being a Mummy and working?

I have been back FT since January and OH had James to begin with, now my sister has him. I know I am very lucky and shouldn't moan BUT...

....We're into day 13 of James being ill and I am sitting here in tears feeling like a failure.

My poor child is ill and I feel like I am not taking good enough care of him?

James had a sickness bug, took ages to get better and now had a horrible cough and cold. He ended up in hospital for 3 nights in December and with viral induced wheeze and I am terrified that will happen again.

To make matters worse I have to be at work this week. OH is with James but I feel like complete crap. I've had several days off over the past few weeks with him being ill but this week is "non negotiable"... Daddy is great with him, I just feel so freaking guilty.

How do you ladies do it?

Any words of wisdom welcome and fellow working mummies feeling like crap feel free to join me

X

 

[dollface79]

I have come home from work to a snot filled toddler full of cold, and no doubt baby will catch it too I only work part time and daddy is a stay at home dad so i am lucky in that respect. Just hate the feeling of not being able to help them when they are ill or not being there when they want me(stevey is a mummys boy).

Slightly off topic but... The viral wheeze your little one had, what was it like? My son has been put on an inhaler as everytime we go out and let him walk he gets so far then can't breath properly and it sounds wheezey when he tries to breath in?? Scares the hell out of me and the doctors seem to have no real clue and just said try an inhaler.

 

[CARNAT22]

James only had the wheeze that one time (lasted about a week / 10 days all in) and he needed his inhaler for the duration but he never needed it before or since?

It was a real, wet, raspy wheeze though.

I have some info about viral induced wheeze and asthma.... let me see if I can find it

X

 

[leesey]

I wish I could help all you ladies but I have moans of my own! Having real MIL trouble and I'm now really uncomfortable leaving lo there when I'm at work, but these two days she has her (Wednesday and Thursday) are completely inflexible as my mum works these two days too. I'm currently trying to find a nursery, but ironically I'd have to work an extra day to afford paying for childcare. I've found one nursery that's council run and I should be able to get employee discount but the waiting list is a year! Plus dh has said under no circumstances are we getting alternative childcare unless it's an absolute last resort. I kind of feel we're at last resort time.

I have a horrible gut-wrenching feeling every time she goes now, and I'm dreading tomorrow. Thankfully after next week it's the easter holidays then nearly summer and maternity leave!

Sorry for the hijack, just needed a moan! Xxx

 

[Loula]

I find it a struggle as I have to leave Keira the night before a shift and sometimes dont even see her that day as I come home late.
Its not ideal xx

 

[CARNAT22]

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry to hear that I am not the only one struggling. Although selfishly it's nice to know I am not alone.

Life is like one big guilt trip these days.

I don't know what the answer is? A lottery win maybe

X

 

[TaffyRose1]

I know how you feel hun, I went back to work when Max was about 10 months old and was only in for 2 days. Me and OH own our own business so I was lucky I have more flexibility than most, but then on the flip side less work equals less money. I then went up to 3 days when we knew Max (and me were comfortable) and now I'm in 4 days. My mum and sister have him a day each and he's at a childminders 2 days and I know he's very well cared for and happy but I do feel a lot of guilt. It also feels like such a long time from Monday to Thursday when I have a full day with him myself. He has also been ill recently and I do feel extremely torn. I just try to make sure we do lots of fun things when we have the day together and at the weekend and am looking forward to maternity leave to sound time with both Max and this baby xxx

 

[claire671]

Big hug to you! I'm back at work 3 days and my department are desperate to get me in more. My days get longer and longer and today I was almost an hour late out. My husband has Michael during the day while I work and then as soon as I'm home he heads off for his shift. Michael has just started walking and I feel I miss a lot of that with the stories and videos my hubby takes while I'm at work.
I can't imagine being full time, that must be so hard x

 

[Becky1]

I'm not back yet (6 weeks today I will be :-/ ) I'm already dreading it. I'm only going back p/t and Josh will be with grandparent 2 days and nursery a day. I just hope my work are flexible if I need time off if he gets poorly - they should be as they have already asked me to change days for a couple of weeks! x

 

[rheannymac]

I only work part time, so I'm very lucky there but I still find it a struggle. I've no idea how you full time ladies do it. My mum watches him (unless OH is off) and I actually get jealous knowing that she'll be spending time with him & I won't be which is ridiculous!

 

[littlemonkey]

I'm back at work full time, working shifts and have been since LO was 7 months old.

It is crappy, I feel like so much of the time I'm running round like a headless chicken, I feel guilty I don't spend enough time with LO or OH and I don't feel like we get the amount of time together as a family that I would like.

It doesn't help that work are making changes once again to cut costs, my job changes more and more every day and I'm doing less of the actual work I enjoy and resent leaving my LO to come into a load of s***. The hours will also be reviewed soon and if they make the changes I think they will it will not really be worth me working full time. So at the moment I'm just questioning what the hell I'm doing and if I want to be doing this job!

The only positive is my boss is fab and really flexible about time off if LO is ill etc. He knows family is more important that work.

I do resent having to leave LO and miss out on so much. At the same time I do enjoy getting to spend time with grown ups doing grown up things. I did used to really enjoy my job and if it was still that job I wouldn't feel so bad about working. I don't think it ever gets easier! I also try and see the benefits for LO. He goes to the childminder who is able to do a wider variety of things with him than I could and he also gets to socialise with other older kids which he loves. I feel better about leaving him there.

 

[MrsT2011]

Huge support for all working mummies! I went back at 6 months 3/4 days a week but also on call every other weekend. Love my job and my manager is hugely supportive, I've been very lucky that B hasn't been poorly for about a year now so not had to take time off.
The part I found stressful is getting him to nursery in time! I'm a super organised person but trying to get both of us ready, breakfast and drive 20mins in traffic, chuck him into nursery and get myself into work by half 8 is a bit of a challenge, especially when he didn't wake till 7.30!

 

[nicky1987]

I've been back at work since jas was 6 months old. So been back 6 months - I feel guilty leaving her everyday but she's with family and had an absolute ball! I went back full time but pretty quickly (after a week) dropped to part time cos I couldn't handle being away from her that much! She hasn't been vey well recently but I had to leave her and go to work - bloody awful!

 

[Lolly85x]

I'm a working mummy. 32 hours over 4 days. 9am-6pm. Iv been back since he was 10months last May. Was hard at 1st but now were in a great routine. He goes to nursery one day a week, I wish I had put him in 2 days. Family childcare - on the inlaws side is a bit ropey. I can juggle days off and my mum is brilliant at taking holidays from her work. My mum is taking early retirement in Sept this year and will only be coming 60 so she's still really active to look after him. Also will make having no.2 when the time comes quite easy as she will be there 24/7 for us.

I did struggle feeling guilty. And still do have moments of guilt. But I know in doing the best for him, to provide for him. We have a nice house, car (hopefully a new one soon) we've taken him on holiday and planning another this year.

I try and make the most of my days off and holidays from work. Doing lots of fun things.

I try not to do housework when he's awake. I always spend my time with him, playing. He's very vocal now he's 19 months and is starting to tell me what he's been doing. It's very cute.

 

[littlemonkey]

Huge support for all working mummies! I went back at 6 months 3/4 days a week but also on call every other weekend. Love my job and my manager is hugely supportive, I've been very lucky that B hasn't been poorly for about a year now so not had to take time off.
The part I found stressful is getting him to nursery in time! I'm a super organised person but trying to get both of us ready, breakfast and drive 20mins in traffic, chuck him into nursery and get myself into work by half 8 is a bit of a challenge, especially when he didn't wake till 7.30!

MrsT, I'm the same! No matter how organised I am, we're still running out the door at 7.30 like an idiot! There's been so many times I've been doing really well only to have LO smear breakfast over my work clothes or bang out a massive poop as we're heading out the door! I feel bad but I wake my LO up at 6.30 otherwise we'd never get out.

 

[CARNAT22]

Leaving James when he has been ill has been such a low point for me. Sadly he's been ill quite a bit so I've basically had to decide on a day to day basis if I can actually leave him or not.

It breaks my freaking heart and actually makes me quite angry.

No-one in my department has kids so they don't understand [not their fault of course] but I feel so flaky...

Although I have been with my company for 12 years and I have exemplary punctuality and attendance pre-baby. I didn't have a single sick day whilst pregnant either. So my past record stands me in good steed.

I work in sales so month end is non negotiable in terms of time off. I wake up everyday at the moment praying that James isn't "too poorly"

Granted he is with Daddy but still.

I know I must sound so ungrateful but I am glad some of you understand

X

 

[TaffyRose1]

Huge support for all working mummies! I went back at 6 months 3/4 days a week but also on call every other weekend. Love my job and my manager is hugely supportive, I've been very lucky that B hasn't been poorly for about a year now so not had to take time off.
The part I found stressful is getting him to nursery in time! I'm a super organised person but trying to get both of us ready, breakfast and drive 20mins in traffic, chuck him into nursery and get myself into work by half 8 is a bit of a challenge, especially when he didn't wake till 7.30!

MrsT, I'm the same! No matter how organised I am, we're still running out the door at 7.30 like an idiot! There's been so many times I've been doing really well only to have LO smear breakfast over my work clothes or bang out a massive poop as we're heading out the door! I feel bad but I wake my LO up at 6.30 otherwise we'd never get out.

I also find this a bit of a nightmare, no matter how organised I am I still seem to be chasing Max around the house trying to get him dressed or fed and rushing out the door to get him to the childminders on time, I have no idea how I'll get 2 ready on time! xxx

 

[MrsT2011]

I dropped B at the nursery last week still with his toast and rice crispies in his hair. The staff just looked at me with my work suit on, hair straightened, immaculate make up and judged me lol! Do I care no! B is so slow with breakfast I can get showered, dry my hair, apply make up and make lunch whilst he has a good old munch lol! X

 

[TORino]

Work is really tough going for me at the min. I have been given more responsibility with six staff to manage and new tasks that are critical to the department. In addition to this 50% of the department is going to be made redundant so I'm trying to go the extra mile to show I'm worth keeping around..

I should really be working 5 days but my Mondays off with my princess are priceless to me. I'm making do with annual leave and unpaid leave to do this but it won't be forever.

I'm lucky in that I don't have any childcare problems and T is thriving at nursery but I can't get everything done in the house and still make time for myself. I'm totally burning the candle at both ends and at risk of meltdown actually. It's not good. I'm just trying to soldier on really.