Wish I could always keep her safe!

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by So_hopeful81, Jan 2, 2012.

  1. So_hopeful81

    So_hopeful81 Well-Known Member

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    I have had a few days of feeling really sad that I'm in tri 3... I know that sounds crazy- especially as in tri 1 I would have given anything to get here... But it suddenly dawned on me yesterday why.

    While she is inside my tummy, I feel like she is like any other 'regular' child. I am so afraid about what ignorance she will come up against in her life, because of her Down syndrome. It has begun to absolutely petrify me that people are going to be so unkind to her, all because they will see her as something less than she really is!

    Also, it dawned on me that this is the year she is going to have to have her heart surgery. I can't believe that something so tiny and fragile is going to have open heart surgery! It scares me! It suddenly just made me think while she is inside me, despite my dislike of getting huge, having heartburn constantly an inability to drink a glass of wine when I fancy it- she is safer than when she comes out!!!

    My OH asked me yesterday if I would have done anything different since our diagnosis and I know I wouldn't change her at all. I know I have accepted who this little treasure is with all of my heart, so the answer was no! But it did make me think that if I could bubble wrap her away from the world I may have done so- if it weren't so unfair! Xxx
     
  2. pinkyprincess

    pinkyprincess Well-Known Member

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    When we thought about the prospect of possibly having a downs child I felt exactly the same! People can be horrible. Turns out he's not but I still worry about protecting him from bully's! All you can do I think is make sure she knows that you love her and you are there for get no matter what! If she knows she's got a mummy she can trust and rely on at home it'll help that little bit more iykwim!

    Why do our LOs have to come out to face the world??


     
  3. Welshy1

    Welshy1 Well-Known Member

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    I also want to wrap my lil one in bubble wrap n make sure a bad word or action is made against her. People can be so hurtful or unthinking. Am sure she's going to be a beatiful angel. We chose not to have the testing done but in one way i regret not knowing either way but am happy knowing that when shes born she'll be loved xx
     
  4. BabyBrain

    BabyBrain Well-Known Member

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    Oh sweetheart :hug: there's not much that can be said that is going to make you feel better I don't think thanks to the protective hormones. None of us can guarantee our LO's a happy life in reality. Watching my nephews grow up it's really saddened me to see them realise that not everyone in this world will love them as much as we do. It's a very hard lesson for any child to learn but they do and they survive it. There is so much more tolerance and understanding of Down's these days and also support for both you and your daughter.

    Her surgery is risky but at the end of the day they wouldn't do it if she didn't need it and the younger they are the quicker they heal. babies are remarkably resilient and she will get the very best of care.

    As for being safer in the womb, well.....I am of the honest opinion that Albert would be much better off staying where he is apart from the fact that it's inside me lol. This poor little boy has yet to find out exactly what a clumsy oaf I am and it's miraculous that he's got this far if you ask me.

    Your little girl is going to have an amazing life full of adventure and magic xxxxxxxxx
     
  5. niknaks

    niknaks Well-Known Member

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    Aww hun. You just have to ignore those type of ignorant people and bring your daughter up to do the same. My cousin has down (she's now in her 30s and lives in Oman in muscat and is one of the most remarkable people i know. Shes such an outspoken and independent person and she comes from a country which is so many times worse than here when it comes to individuals who are different. Over here things are changing all the time when it comes to downs and other disabilities. At the back of my work there's a place for people with disabilities to live independently and your always seeing people with downs living as independent lives as possible. There is so much going for them now. People may say things or whatever but just think there will always be someone worse off than you. And as for the surgery at least shell have it at a time where she will heal faster and won't remember a thing. I had open heart surgery at the age of 5 and I still Remember bits like having my stitches taken out which was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. And the thought of having stitches for child birth was actually more scary for me than labour pains. Thankfully They werw dissolvable. I can't imagine how your feeling But for me It's something that I will have to prepare myself for because ive been told because of my cousin Im at higher risk of potentially having a downs baby but I look at my cousin and see what a happy lovable person she is and I'm sure your little girl will be very much the same xxx
     
  6. NinjaKitty

    NinjaKitty Well-Known Member

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    I think your little girl is so lucky to have you two as parents. I don't think anyone could give her as much love and care as you have done already. I understand your apprehension because you already know some of the care she'll need when she's here like the operation. But you'll always be there to protect her. :love:
     
  7. Esperanza84

    Esperanza84 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with ninjakitty! She's Lucky to have you as parents!!!

    Xx
     
  8. Cazzlou

    Cazzlou Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    my sister has downs and i was 14 when she was born.

    We brought her up to be open and honest and i will always remember standin in a post office queue when she was about 8 or so and a young girl about 10 was staring at her so Sarah did no more ' stood and stared back at her then piped up - finished looking yet have you?' the girl looked embarassed and the mother was even more so as she hadnt seen her staring.

    Shes 18 in two weeks and having a big party, her dress is ordered and she has lots of friends both disabled and not.

    the only ones who are unkind believe it or not are children and thats because they havent been around someone with a disABILITY before.

    My dd is almost 4 and to her its aunty sarah, weve seen other teenagers/ adults with downs out and Becki always says is that aunty sarahs friend as she thinks because they look alike they must know each other lol.

    a family friends has two boys with DS and one had major heart surgery as a baby and he is fine now. they know what they are doing and thankfully they act quick and get it done so baby can continue growing and progressing .

    ive prob not added much to this but your little girl will be loved and accepted by all those who matter in her life. x
     
  9. Applecider

    Applecider Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Ninja, your baby is going to be loved and that is the most important thing xx
     
    #9 Applecider, Jan 2, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2012
  10. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    Cazzalou love your story about your sis in the queue. X

    I agree with Ninja too. You'll both be amazing parents and she's a lucky little lady. X
     
  11. mustard

    mustard Well-Known Member

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    You feel she is safest in your tummy because you can protect her, but you will protect your little girl as long as you live and so she will be fine.
     
  12. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    all the downs kids i know thru work are so happy and polite and popular. there are lots of clubs out there for ppl with disabilitys so that they can have the best of both worlds and have friends that are like them as wel as other kids from their schools n area. theres no reason she cant have a full and happy life and im sure with you as parents she will get every opportunity there is for her to be anything she wants
     
  13. So_hopeful81

    So_hopeful81 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone! Your messages and stories have lifted me a little- which is good, because I haven't cried yet today!!!
    Xxx
     
  14. redbear

    redbear Well-Known Member

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    I agree with what the others have said she will be loved by her mummy and daddy and looked after and that's what matters, im sure she will grow up to be a strong person like you and ignore ignorant people and concentrate on the good ones xx
     

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