Why can't people share in the joy of pregnancy?

[Mama 2 Be]

Sorry just a (another) wee rant.

Why are people so negative about being pregnant or having children?

For example: "I can feel the baby move now, little kicks every now and then " Surely the correct reply is: Oh how lovely, bet it makes you even more excited. But no, why do people have to say. "Well, you wait until it's kicking you in the middle of the night and it hurts and their foot get's stuck in your rib cage and ends up fracturing your ribs!"

I've stopped talking about my baby now and ended up in tears Saturday morning purely because I just want someone to share the fun with me. Hubby is fantastic but I don't want him to feel I talk about the baby all the time but I'm so excited and other people just drag it down. Now when people ask how I am I just say yeah, fine. If they push I just keep saying 'yeah fine' like a crazy!

Even when I bought some baby things the other day I was told 'I wouldn't buy too much because everyone else won't have anything to buy' How inconsiderate of me to buy sleep suits for my child to sleep in, what they hell will everyone else buy?!? Well do you know what? This is MY baby and if I want to buy EVERYTHING for it I will. Stop stealing the fun out of us buying baby things - now me and hubby are buying things but not showing anyone just to stop the comments - it's stupid!

 

[JayK2387]

I know what ur saying hun and it doesnt get any better the further along u get its so annoying.

When talking to people that have had kids or further along, their always like "it only gets worse from here" or when i was excited over the weekend and said to OHs family..."only 8 weeks to go now i cant wait" the reply was, yeah and its only going to get more restless and painful from now!!

I was like whatever..lol xx

 

[Chopsie]

Aw, I know what you mean hon - I hate it when people ask about how you plan to give birth/feed/generally look after your child, and then pour scorn on WHATEVER you say!! I'm sick to death of hearing 'Oh, you'll soon change your mind about natural childbirth once you're in labour' or 'well, you're bound to need stitches afterwards' or 'it's all well and good making these plans, but they'll all go out the window once the baby's born' AAGGHHHH!!!

If you're only asking to be negative, then don't flippin' well bother asking!!! What will happen will happen, and I don't need numpties pointing out all the bad things that might come to pass!

Sorry, I just butted in on your rant there Mama2Be

So here goes - being pregnant is FABULOUS, you look AMAZING, feeling your baby move is THE MOST JOYOUS AND LIFE AFFIRMING THING that can happen at this stage of pregnancy, and I for one will be at every report of Baba2Be's movement and progress, so balls to the lot of 'em!!

 

[Mama 2 Be]

I know what ur saying hun and it doesnt get any better the further along u get its so annoying.

When talking to people that have had kids or further along, their always like "it only gets worse from here" or when i was excited over the weekend and said to OHs family..."only 8 weeks to go now i cant wait" the reply was, yeah and its only going to get more restless and painful from now!!

I was like whatever..lol xx

Exactly - like you really need THAT with only 8 weeks to go. Why not say something like 'Not long to go, before Easter you'll have your gorgeous ickle baby snuggled in your arms!'

We know it's going to get harder and harder by the day, we know we are going to have NO sleep once baby is born blah blah blah so just be happy for us.

 

[Tasha20]

Yep often people I hardley know or don't even know at all are usualy the ones to come out with

Pregnancy one ive had
" Not as exciting the second time is it?"

Ive had mainly parenting ones

"Oh no number two, you will have your work cut out!"
"this was planned then?"
" Be better if you had a girl, you would save money then"

idiots, absolute idiots

Yes people love to comment negativly on pregnant, and what gets me is how most fo these have wanted to be pregnant and know how it feels yet when they are not the feel they have to say something bad about it... strange

 

[Mama 2 Be]

Aw, I know what you mean hon - I hate it when people ask about how you plan to give birth/feed/generally look after your child, and then pour scorn on WHATEVER you say!! I'm sick to death of hearing 'Oh, you'll soon change your mind about natural childbirth once you're in labour' or 'well, you're bound to need stitches afterwards' or 'it's all well and good making these plans, but they'll all go out the window once the baby's born' AAGGHHHH!!!

If you're only asking to be negative, then don't flippin' well bother asking!!! What will happen will happen, and I don't need numpties pointing out all the bad things that might come to pass!

Sorry, I just butted in on your rant there Mama2Be

So here goes - being pregnant is FABULOUS, you look AMAZING, feeling your baby move is THE MOST JOYOUS AND LIFE AFFIRMING THING that can happen at this stage of pregnancy, and I for one will be at every report of Baba2Be's movement and progress, so balls to the lot of 'em!!

Grrr I just typed a reply and then lost connection AGAIN due to max users reached!

Oh mate you just made me well up! (God I'm such an emotional wreck right now!) And I too will be there for every movement of BabyChopsie!

You rant all you like mate, that's what's the threads for.

I had someone telling me I had no idea what I was talking about because I haven't had children and therefore my wish NOT to have a water birth was irrelvant! 'You'll have one for your second child I'll bet! (Smug grin)'. It was that point that I went out of body and imagined headbuting her!

 

[Mama 2 Be]

Yes people love to comment negativly on pregnant, and what gets me is how most fo these have wanted to be pregnant and know how it feels yet when they are not the feel they have to say something bad about it... strange

I know! And when you say something back (like I said I would buy anything for my child that I wanted to buy and to hell with having two of everything) they say: 'Yeah I thought the same but when you've had your baby you'll know what I mean!'

WHAT? So you agree that you felt wound up with comments like this but have (and am telling me I will) join their camp after the baby has born - I pray to god I DO NOT preach like that!

(Check the three tri's this time next year and see what 'advise' I'll be dishing out! )

 

[Becc]

I know exactly what you mean! All I got from my cousin when I told her I was pregnant was "It's very hard work you know..." like I had absolutely no idea what a baby even was!! This woman is only 2 years older than I am and I felt like she was treating me like a complete idiot. Of course my other cousin was completely the opposite and said that it will be the best thing I'll ever do so at least that's something

I'm also getting everybody's opinion on the home birth I've got planned:

"Ooooohhhhh god, not for your first baby."
"Why would you have your baby at home when you can be in the hospital with all that equipment right there?"

Grrr... if I wanted their opinion I would have probably said something along the lines of "So what do you think of giving birth at home then" but I didn't, so I don't want to know so why don't they just keep their noses out!!!

Sometimes I feel like me and OH should just go and hide in a cave somewhere just us and the baby and come back when it's about 6 months old and healthy and happy and tell everyone that see, we did it all without you so butt out!!!

 

[NickyB]

It doesn't stop when you give birth either - 'it gets better after the first 18 years or so'. Yes, thanks!

 

[Melly+2]

haha its normal, and yes i am one of those people who says 'it only gets more uncomfy' coz you know what, it bloody does, i have a baby the size of a small hippo growing inside of me atm, butyou know what despite that, theres gonna be a beautiful baby at the end of itall and thats what makes all these tough times alot easier

 

[Mama 2 Be]

haha its normal, and yes i am one of those people who says 'it only gets more uncomfy' coz you know what, it bloody does, i have a baby the size of a small hippo growing inside of me atm, butyou know what despite that, theres gonna be a beautiful baby at the end of itall and thats what makes all these tough times alot easier

For that Mel&Bean I hope you go to 42 weeks! I'm only kidding, are you still kicking around here - get that baby OUT goddamnit!

Or as your gang of the bleedin' obvious would say: Haven't you had that baby yet????

 

[Serendipity_]

I hate the people who criticise every parenting way you plan to choose.

"I'll change your mind" - errr, no you fucking won't

What are you going to do when it annoys you eh???

"Well, actually I planned on leaving it in a suitcase on the motorway, if thats okay with you"

 

[Mama 2 Be]

I hate the people who criticise every parenting way you plan to choose.

"I'll change your mind" - errr, no you f***ing won't

What are you going to do when it annoys you eh???

"Well, actually I planned on leaving it in a suitcase on the motorway, if thats okay with you"

Yeah or they say something stupid like: '(smugly) You'll see what I mean when you give birth.'
No I won't and even if I do I'll NEVER admit it to you!

 

[Serendipity_]

My inlaws are the worst for this. So if I have any problems, I'm going straight to my brother and his fiancee..

 

[HollyHobby]

The bit about not buying cos you'll spoil it for others sounds exactly like my mum!
Everytime I show her something I've bought she'll tell me to not buy anything else now !!!
GET LOST MUM!!! Seriously, she keeps telling me this and so far she hasn't actually bought anything off her own back except some newborn vests and babygros that I said does she want to pay for then?!!

And I keep hearing not to buy much as the baby will get loads - well who exactly is going to be buying loads and what are they gonna get it cos I don't want to take the chance of not having enough stuff - If they can't buy it now 4 and a half months in advance then I'm not interested

Don't get me started on the cot. My parents said they'll buy it, then hubbys dad said he would - told hubbys dad my parents were getting it and then my mum said he's got more money than us let him get it ... so long shot is no one is buying the cot!

Oh and I asked my mum did she wants to see my belly, to which she said something along the lines of why did she want to see it it's not a pretty sight

Anmd this one gets my goat, my dad saying it'll never want for nowt cos it's their grandchild... well excuse me but it'll never want for nowt cos it's MY child! And it's been me who has paid for everything and me who will pay for everything!! They seem so quick to tell me not to buy stuff but slow to get the cash out...

oh i could moan all day really!!

 

[Serendipity_]

Don't get me started on the cot. My parents said they'll buy it, then hubbys dad said he would - told hubbys dad my parents were getting it and then my mum said he's got more money than us let him get it ... so long shot is no one is buying the cot!

That sounds like my parents.

 

[HollyHobby]

My inlaws are the worst for this. So if I have any problems, I'm going straight to my brother and his fiancee..

I wasnt going to start on inlaws... my mil all she's offered is old toys of her grand daughters! She has never once rang to see how things are going and she knew I had the downs test. I've told hubby not to ring her after the next scan - wait to see if she rings as she knows when it is - i bet she doesnt ring

This will be my parents 7th grandchild and my hubbys parents 2nd and it does seem 2nd best from the interest his mum has shown.

Who can I have a moan about next?

Even my youngest cat is all excited to be a big brother

 

[Serendipity_]

My OH's step mum is an ex midwife/health visitor/nurse and she's always on at me. It annoys me so much, I just think.......... Leave me alone for once! And, I lie awake at night panicking that they will try and overcrowd me when the baby is born. I'm panicking again now.

 

[HollyHobby]

My OH's step mum is an ex midwife/health visitor/nurse and she's always on at me. It annoys me so much, I just think.......... Leave me alone for once! And, I lie awake at night panicking that they will try and overcrowd me when the baby is born. I'm panicking again now.

I have that overcrowded fear too, like its just this second been born and already i am being told i'm doing this and that wrong and laods of people swarming in grabbing the baby off me and saying this is how you do it!! I just know the fact I wont be putting the baby on its side to sleep will eat my mum away as thats how they did it in hospitals when she was a nurse. I just hope I've got some confidence left by the end of it to tell people to P off ok i dont know how to look after a baby but i'll learn! (cant be much different to kittens can it? )

 

[Rock-Angel]

sorry to gate crash, but saw the title and had to read, grr at the not a pretty sight (bump)

Im no were near your stages yet but I really feel for you, so leaving you a load of these..



As for the next few months, yes you may have uncomfortable moments, but every lil kick you feel is your baby saying hello, every sleepliss night is your baby saying oi mummy Im awake so why arent you, every lil gift YOU buy your baby is your way to welcome him or her into the world, every toy you buy is you already teaching your child the ways of the world, these are really special months, were its just you and your baby, your bump is splenditous (yes that is a word damnit! )
and your all gorgeous, no matter what the hag down the road may say!


sorry will butt out now!!