Think this beats them all, but I had one IN MY EAR!!!!
I was about 18 and was sitting on my chair chatting with my mate when my ear started itching...you know when its a really manic itch you just cant get to, so after a while of it getting worse and worse I got a cotton bud and had a good ole rummage.....then I heard an almighty buzzing and could feel quick panicked movement in my ear, right down inside! Whatever had been just inside my ear, I had pushed right down with a cotton bud! I had to go to hospital (my mate drove me and thought it was hysterical, he kept saying "lets fly you to the hospital" like it was the funniest joke ever!) and after waiting for about 4 hours.....during which time a space cleared around me as I sat there banging my ear with my fist as it was the only way to get any satisfaction from the itch....and then the doc had a look and called in a load of student docs as it was so unique, and then eventually syringed my ear. That didnt work after about 8 attempts at syringing, it was still having a little jazz tap lesson in my ear, so then I had to sit there with my head tilted and olive oil in my ear for 20 minutes. It eventually stopped moving, but nothing came out, and they couldnt be sure if it had flown out, fallen out dead unseen, or was still trapped there. I had to get a hospital car to another hospital to have my ear scanned properly - and if it had still been there they would have had to make a small cut behind my ear and remove it! They couldnt see anything so I was sent home, but I had nightmares for months that whatever it was (im guessing a fruit fly or something) had layed eggs in there and maggots would eat my brain
Now, 14 years later, I cant sleep unless both my ears are covered and if I get an itchy ear I immediately panic
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