When to tell?

[rachaellouise]

Hubby and I are trying to decide when to tell our families...

We have two options really...

Invite them all over on the 20th and tell them all together then. (I will have been to the doctor on the 17th so hopefully have it all confirmed and will be 3.5 weeks gone by MY date/ 5.5 by Doctors dates)

Or invite them over before the doctors appointment so we can tell them NOW!

I just dont know how I can hold out until then to tell MY Mum, I tell ehr everything!!

What would you all do?

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I'd tell my mam asap...but thats me xxx

 

[rachaellouise]

But if I tell Mum, Dad will feel left out Then we would also have to tell OH's Mum...

 

[Constantstar]

we are not going to tell them until we are at 12 weeks which should be christmas day ish im just supersticious

 

[rachaellouise]

How close are you with your Mum Constantstar?
I am really close to mine and kinda feel like I am lying to her by keeping it to myself!

 

[star fish]

I am having a nightmare not telling my mum and it's only been a day! We are close and i know she is desperate to hear such news, but i'm trying to be strong and wait til xmas eve because it will be extra special if i can as we will be together, rather than over the phone.

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I don't know hun lol then tell your dad after...xxx

 

[star fish]

If you need to tell her, then maybe tell all the parents but be really firm that you want them to keep it to themselves.

 

[Cantstop]

I told my mam (and dad) within an hour of getting the bfp, just couldn't keep it in! If you're really close to your mam you'll presumably want her support if anything (god forbid) goes wrong, so why not tell her - that was my thought process anyway.

 

[rachaellouise]

We have decided that we are telling, Parents, My Sister, Our Nans, Hubby Auntie and a few of our friends.
Then if its spreads it does but we are not going to activly tell anyone else until after the 12 week scan.

 

[scottishlassie]

I will be about 8 weeks at Christmas, so we may be telling family then, we'll be seeing both my mum and dad and OH's family on christmas day, so would be a good time to tell them they will be wondering why i won't be drinking anyway!

Also, i would rather keep it quiet in work until the first scan, but i have my work christmas lunch coming up! And they will also be wondering why I'm not drinking!! Hmmm, i was thinking "upset tummy" or "i'm on antibiotics" or something... But to be honest i will probably let the truth slip! It's so hard not telling everyone because OH and me are so excited!!

xxx

 

[tinytoes]

Im not telling anyone until I hit 12 weeks , last time my mum phoned my whole family as soon as I told her . and i'd rather not lol

 

[teampc]

well we found out on the sunday, and on the monday I had to tell my mum and dad (were very close)
So we went and told them, but informed them to keep it quiet, then oh said we really should tell his parents too so we went to see them and told them to also keep it quiet (mil did the exact opposite and is currently in my bad books for it)
also told oh's brother and girlfriend, and out best friends.
Everyone has been really good and kept it to themselves as asked (except mil gggrrrrr)

We decided we should tell the people that we would want support from if the worst happens so thats what we have done

At christmas I will be 11 weeks, but we are spending christmas with close family so I have decided to tell them then as I thought it would be nice, then the rest of the world can know after our 12 week scan


I think you have to do what feels right to you, if your more comfortable keeping it to yourself until 12 weeks then do that, but if you need to tell someone then do it

 

[tinytoes]

Tempc , I totally agree its all about personal choice.

 

[Piglet's Mama]

I told my Mum but we haven't told MIL; I think it's different with my Mum as she is the maternal grandmother, if it was MIL's daughter, I would expect her to tell her Mum too, if that makes sense? My Mum has my best interests at heart, MIL is just a gossip and thinks of herself.

Also MIL is a big fat gossip and she will tell everyone before we get too, this is definitely news I want to tell people myself! x

 

[Constantstar]

How close are you with your Mum Constantstar?
I am really close to mine and kinda feel like I am lying to her by keeping it to myself!

very close! but she lives abroad so I dont see her everyday but do talk to her most days. Ive told her today tho as Ive got in a panic about the pain im having and just needed my mummy xxx

 

[clairebear22]

I'm not close to my Mum & Stepdad (very long story) but we're very close to my OH's Mum & Dad. We told them the evening after we got our BFP when I was 4wks 4 days. I then called my Mum a few days later once it had sunk into my own head. I then went round to my 2 Aunties houses that weekend as well as my Grandad's to tell them in person.

It's completly your decision how/when and what order you tell people in.

xxx

 

[rachaellouise]

I think my Mum knows...

My parents, hubby and I are going out for a pre organised Christmas meal with friends Tuesday next week so had to put my order in (Before I found out I was pregnant) and I though hmm I will treat myself to a Tia Maria coffee ... not having it now, so said to Mum that I just need to cancel the drink order and this is how the conversation went...
Mum 'why?'
Me 'I forgot I dont want to drink anything'
Mum 'What even a tiny amount in a coffee?'
Me 'Yeah, I dont want to drink anything'
Mum 'Is there something you are not telling me or are waiting to tell me?'
Me 'Erm... nope'
Mum 'OMG... OK hmm, this conversation never happened did it?'
Me '(laugh) no it did not'

So I think the cat is almost out of the bag! Now it is going to be even harder not to say anything! We are going over to my parents tomorrow evening for a meal as it is my Nans birthday, how on earth am I going to keep quiet!?

 

[tinytoes]

hahaha sounds like she knows

 

[Cantstop]

That's why I told mine straight away, as soon as I turned up at the club/theirs, which we go to a couple of times a week, and didn't drink, it would have been totally obvious!