when to tell parents

[Riley's Mommy]

i cant decide when to tell my parents. im 10weeks but could possibly be 6. i dont know how they will take it. was thinking about taking both sets for a meal and telling them then. but we dont get paid for ages and dont know if i can wait.

also im worried about telling them too early in the pregnancy. do you think i would be ok to tell them at this stage? im waiting for my dating scan to come through. if i am 10weeks then it wont be as bad. but if im 6 then id have ages to wait until the 12week mark

im also worried about what they will say. im 19, engaged in our own place with 2 young dogs. so im sure they will have somethings to say.

any thoughts?

 

[Riley's Mommy]

anyone?

 

[lsmith1984]

When do you get your dating scan? I would hold off until you know.

In saying that, I told my parents and OH's parents around the 6 week mark, kinda wish I hadn't told so many people so early.

I would wait until dating scan. I know it's hard though

Laura xx

 

[Riley's Mommy]

how come you wish you had waited?

i havent got my appointment yet but when the MW was here she said it usually takes about 2/3 weeks until the dating scan

it really is so difficult. i saw a schollfriend at work yesterday who is pregnant (quite well into pregancy) i wanted to tell her so bad.

i think my dad will be happy but concerned how ill cope and afford it.

mom is a tricky one to predict. it will be her first grandchild, so she will either be happy (which i doubt) or more likely cheesed off.

but i want people to know so i get there support.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I rang my mum about 5 minutes after getting my BFP, then we told OH's parents about 30 minutes later as we were going to their house anyway.

I don't think I could keep it to myself, when Im worried about stuff theres always my parents or Daniels parents to keep me calm and help me relax!

I know its a personal choice and everyone has different reasons but I chose to tell them straight away and it was the best thing for me. My mums already bought loads of clothes even though Im not past the 12 week mark yet

Why not invite both yours and OH's parents round to your place to tell them, cheaper than taking them out. Or even ring them and tell them, then you wont have to deal with their reaction face to face.

Its their job to worry about you, it doesnt matter how old you are, I think all parents worry! It might take them time to adjust but by the time the baby comes they'll be thrilled, I guarantee it!

Hope you do whatevers best for you

 

[Riley's Mommy]

id love to tell them today. but OH keeps telling me to wait. he thinks it will sound bad me saying im not sure how far gone i am.

with my moms first baby haveing spina biffida (he died 18months) i need to talk to her to find out about it. as im quite worried.

he said if you tell people and then you miscarriage you will have to tell people. but id want my parents to know. i wouldnt want to go through it with them not knowing

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I know what you mean. If I hadnt told them and I ended up losing it, they'd be able to tell I was upset about something and if I said 'oh I was pregnant but I lost it' they'd feel offended that I hadnt told them. I wouldnt be able to go through that on my own anyway, Id be glad of their support.

If OH doesnt want to tell them yet why not just tell yours and wait til he thinks its right to tell his, maybe in a few weeks.

I dont think it'll sound bad just cos you dont know your dates. It happens, no one knows their exact dates for definite til they have a dating scan anyway.

Whether their reaction is good or bad, at least once you've told them its out the way.You only have to do it once

 

[Riley's Mommy]

thats my thoughts. get it out of the way with lol.

ad in regards to just telling mine, dont think hed want to do that incase his parents get petty about who found out first

i think he is also worried because our money situation isnt great at the moment. and they'll throw that at us. but were working 42hrs a week on good money so we are going forward rather than back.

was you nervous about telling your parents? i am.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

the first time I fell pregnant I was 16 and living at home so I got a test which was BFP and told my mam in tears (even though I was happy!).She took me straight to the doctors and convinced herself it was a mistake, but when they told us it was positive too she went really weird, she almost collapsed and she was totally out of it for ages.

Anyway, I didnt dare talk to them for ages (my dad was ok about it anyway cos he's so laid back about everything!). We told OH's parents the same day and they were a bit more understanding cos MIL had her first baby at the same age. After a while my mum came round to the idea and when Josh was born she cried with happiness and now he's her whole world.

This time, my parents knew we were trying and we have our own house and stuff so they were fine. My mums excited already lol.

I was still nervous about telling them though cos Im only 21 and this is my second baby. I feel like I've let them down in some way by not making myself a successful career first. I couldnt ask for better parents really though, they're quite old fashioned but they support me through everything

 

[Riley's Mommy]

i dont know why im so nervous to tell them. because at 19(20 in march) it isnt like im a child any more. and yes things will be difficult (i.e will need a new place as i doubt landlord will let me have a baby here aswell as 2 dogs)

but the thing is its do-able. and ill cope. im getting quite excited. but i think to myself that i shouldnt. i was so worried taking the second test it would say negative. but it didnt. so i dont know why im worrying so much. im blaigtantly pregnant.

i guess we all worry dont we lol

 

[puppylove]

Hello well we still havent told anyone else about us having a baby as we wanna get checked over by the doc/mw before saying anything and my family live in a different country but we r going to visit them for christmas so it will b part of there christmas present and before we leave to go visit them we will tell my boyfriends family. we r both dying to tell someone but wanna wait til i get checked out by the doc/mv. all the best for you when the time comes.

 

[Strangeness]

I told my mum as soon as I got my BFP, she even knew before my hubby because she was in the house when I did the test and I couldn't not tell her! I was 18 at the time and she was over the moon. I was only a few weeks pregnant when I found out and I was glad to have her support when I started bleeding a couple of weeks later. The baby was fine but if he hadn't been I think I would have been really glad to have my mum's support. You need to do what you feel is right for you hun.

 

[Riley's Mommy]

thats the thing. i really want to tell them. but between my OH and my nerves/worrys i just dont know. if it was down to me, id tell them now.i said to OH before i knew i was PG 'if i ever get pregnant id want them to know'

so i think thats it isnt it. i need to tell them soon.

just got to pick my moment lol

 

[cloud9]

I think do whats right for you ....we told MIL the day we found out .I haven't seen my mum in 15 years so she's not an issue but there are things i wish i had a mum I could ask things , i guess this place is kinda second best for me in terms of that..

We told everyone without thoughts of anything going wrong we were just too excited...

As for spina bifida.I only got my results back last wednesday it is a long time to keep it to yourself if you are waiting for that

good luck whatever you decide

 

[littlebump]

Hello!

With first pregnancy we told our parents as soon as we found out as we were soooo excited we couldn't keep it in!

This time we waited until about 9 weeks as we wanted to tell them together and face to face so we did it at Maddie's first birthday party - it was fantastic (I had an early scan at 8 weeks so we had a piccie to show them!!).

We didn't mind telling them before the scan because if anything bad happened they would be the ones we would tell about it and would need their support.

As for now, I've told a couple of close friends and my sister and of course you lot - basically everyone I would confide in if we lost the baby but haven't announced it publicly yet and won't until after our scan!

It's really up to you but I wouldn't let the risk of m/c be the only factor in your decision - and don't feel worried - no matter what their initial reaction, once it's sunk in they will be delighted for you I'm sure. How can they not be - they will be grandparents - what a fabulous treat for any parent!

If you're not able to take them out for a meal, can you invite them over to yours for a nice meal in?

LBxx

 

[Riley's Mommy]

i dont really know why im so worried. as ive said to OH ifmy mom or any parent gets funny about it, it will be there loss, they will be the ones missing the birth/first grandchild. i wish i knew how far gone i am. if im 10weeks which i think, ill feel better about telling them rather than being 6weeks.

i think we are going to be making a meal now. as i said to OH the money could be put to better use.

 

[*glow*]

Hiya

Just to let you know I was worried about telling my Mum the first time, but took a big deep breath and told her and she was ok about it. A bit worried as me and my Fiance (now husband) were living with her and so did not have our own place, but she was good and said ultimately it was my decision.

This time around we have not told anyone AT ALL (yet) but I am hoping to have a nice early scan as I had probs with my last PG. Then we will tell people.

So do whats right for you, but remember sometimes its a shock to people. When I told my Dad he said to me 'will call you back in a minite' as he lives far away I had to tell him by phone. I was really upset but it was just the shock, he was really excited when he called me back about 10 mins later ...

So good luck and let us all know how you get on

xxx