When to tell siblings about pregnancy?

[charliebear]

As the title says What worked for you?

AJ is 3 and we haven't officially told him. We have been talking about baby brothers and sisters for a little while now. He knows all about babies and loves them.

I was thinking of telling him officially after our 12 wk scan, though I was wondering if it was too soon. MW said he can come along to the 16wk app and listen to babies heartbeat (though I have a doppler so we'll probably listen to it before)

 

[Terri1884]

I'm not telling my 2 till after 12 week scan I know a couple of friends have told siblings straight away and the worst has happened

 

[JJ Mum]

We told ours (although much older) when I was 17 weeks, As I had a MMC (they didn't know) at 11 plus weeks and had been going to tell them the weekend before , but my mum moaned at me, so glad she did now! So when I got pregnant again I was going to wait till 14 weeks to be sure , then I had a high risk test come back at 14 weeks so we waited till we knew our cvs results at 17 weeks, I would say once you have your scan you'd be mostly ok, but I guess think how he would feel if something happened, although kids cope surprising well, almost matter of fact about things, he may tell other people , which could make things harder for you

Exciting time tho, - We have filmed when we told our kids on my OH's phone, sooo funny

 

[charliebear]

Yeah, I dont want to tell him before 12wk scan anyway. We have only told 2 people and dont intend on telling anyone else until after the scan.

AJ knows babies grow in a Mammy's tummy in a place called a womb and likes to look at the scan pic's of when he was there and his cousins too so intend on showing him the scan pictures when we tell him. x

 

[Fordee]

Although our DD is older, we waited until the 12 week scan proved everything was ok before we told her. I bought her a book called 'I'm going to be a big sister' and I presented her with it to give her the news before we shared the scan photos with her. We took the time to sit down as a family and read through the book, which prompted a few questions along the way, and felt happy that she had taken the news well and understood the impact a new addition would have on our lives.
Since then, however, she has expressed a lot of negative thoughts about the baby, but only towards me. She has only projected a very positive image towards the rest of the family, her friends and classmates. I bought her a cute kitten diary last week and we are encouraging her to write her thoughts down daily in the lead up to the birth. She has taken to this really well. I think she needs an outlet to express her thoughts and feelings as she finds it hard to talk about them in a civil manner.
Good luck - its such an exciting (but slightly nerve wracking thing) to have to do!

 

[charliebear]

That is a lovely way of telling your daughter.
I hope the diary works and she starts to feel more positive towards the birth and new addition.
It must be such a big change for her, but I'm sure she'll enjoy helping out and pushing pram etc when baby is here. x

 

[Happyred]

My daughter is 11 and has always been happy as an only child,so I was soooo nervous about telling her. I told her after the 12 week scan, showing her the photos. She was over the moon and even said she had been expecting it because she noticed I hadnt been drinking any wine over the festive season. (im not a huge drinker, but would always enjoy a glass or two at family occasions). She has been really excited and supportive since and I couldnt be more proud of her right now. Anyway, this probably wasnt much help to you as my daughter is a lot older than your son, but I really think that even at a young age children pick up that something is "different" so its probably best not to try and hide it from them for too long.

 

[charliebear]

Thank you. That's lovely, sounds like she'll be a fab big sister.

Although we haven't told him he's been talking about a baby in Mammy's tummy. More so since we found out.
Though as I said before we have always talked about brothers and sisters, mainly because he's asked for one! x

 

[Happyred]

How cute! Fx you have a nice healthy pregnancy and give him a wonderful little play mate!

 

[Star33]

I would tell after your 12wk scan or when you start to show - so that you can point & tell him that baby is in your tummy or if you do tell just after your 12wk scan - when you go back at 16wk to see your midwife & you let him hear the hb - then he will know what it is because you have had a few weeks of telling him there is a baby in your tummy. x x

 

[charliebear]

Hmm, I've just found out the hospital I'm attending will let him in for the 12wk scan! Something to think about......

Star, I can wait to tell him He's going to be so excited. x

 

[MrsR]

I personally wouldn't let him go to the 12 week scan. I had a mmc that was found at my 12 weeks scan and, although he's only young, it would affect him. I would only ever let DH go to my 12 week scan. I'm not saying anything will go wrong but if it does I'm sure you wouldn't want him to witness that xxxx

 

[charliebear]

I personally wouldn't let him go to the 12 week scan. I had a mmc that was found at my 12 weeks scan and, although he's only young, it would affect him. I would only ever let DH go to my 12 week scan. I'm not saying anything will go wrong but if it does I'm sure you wouldn't want him to witness that xxxx

I know that is what is putting me off He will be coming to the 20wk scan anyway.
Thank you x

 

[lyndsey_28]

hey hun

i have 2 children and the youngest was 3 at the time i found out and i didnt want to tell him until my 12 weeks scan confirmed everything was ok then i told him mummy had a baby in her tummy and that he would be a big brother and showed him the pics, he was really excited at the thought of being a big boy and having a baby in the house.i have an older son who is nearly 10 and was absolutely fine with everything as he had been wanting another brother/sister for a while so all was good

i took them both with to the 20 week scan when we found ot the sex and my youngest was amazed at it all, and stil is now he lies be my belly every day talking, singing and kissing my belly he is so excited for this baby to come so im sure urs will be fine and good luck with everything xxx

 

[charliebear]

Aww, that is soo sweet x

 

[HelenJ]

I didn'treally bother a lot to tell my son when I was pregnant again. He was only 10months when I got pregnant woth my second so he didn't have a clue anyway. He went to all the appointments with me and didn't get the scans and also not the heartbeat etc, he was just playing with th toys there. he was there when I gave birth because. y best friend who was going to watch him was stuck in traffic and I gave birth very quckly. He didn't seam shocked but I also didn't scream or anything. I gave birth in 10 mins and he came in with my husband because he wasn't taking his nap so he was only there for a few minutes.

I was with him the morning and phoned my husband at 9.30, he was home at eleven and took my son and at 13.13 my daugther was born.

When I become pregnant wi my third I will tell my son and read him a book. he is almost 3 now so he gets a lot more I don't think I will let him stay at the birth but I am not sure, it all depends on how I feel but I am thinking he can have a nice grandpa day then.

 

[ChrissieCool]

I told my 3 just before my first scan but my kids are a lot older than my little one, 2 were teenagers and the other one was close to being a teenager, they were totally shocked lol but then again so was I as I didn't plan any more but fell pregnant on the pill. But I have to say, they have such a strong bond with him it's amazing, they truly love him very much which is just wonderful to see, his oldest brother will be 18 in May and off to UNI in September lol

 

[charliebear]

Its such a special bond isnt it?
AJ has a older sister, 20yrs difference and its really nice. He adores her and her him. x