When do you tell everyone?

[Catherine]

My due date is 28th March. Still seems a long way to go. I had lunch with friends yesterday and was dying to tell them, but have decided to wait a bit as we feel its a bit early yet. Had to sidestep the drink issue by offering to drive (which I NEVER do under normal circumstances!)

Our close families know, but wondering when the right time is to spill the beans to everyone else. A close friend told everyone early, then had a miscarriage a week later, which was sooooo upsetting.

 

[Babylicious]

Around the 12 week mark is best - although I told close family and friends pretty soon after I found out

 

[Kimbo]

ur not too far from me, im form blackburn

congrats and welcome.. so how far are you?/

i couldnt keep it in, i had to tell everyone.. i even bumped into someone i hardly knew from my old work, and i was only 3 weeks pregnant but still told him

its totally upto you when you feel like telling people.
whenever it feels right, you will know when to tell.

u could also use other excuses such as ur on anitbiotics?
or go for alcohol free beer/wine.

you could also have a lemonade and pretend theres malibu or vodka in it!

 

[Catherine]

I'm going to Chester races with work on 31st August and I have paid for a hospitality package including a champagne tent (boo hoo!) Am thinking of saying I am on antibiotics due to a water infection. Don't like to lie, but they are sooo nosey!

I'm a teacher and we have a new head starting in September - what a way to introduce myself!

 

[poppy160]

I'm the same! I've told everyone, but now I'm worried that things are going to go wrong..I've already had a scan but that was at 6 weeks so it's still very early.

 

[DebbieM]

We've only told my Dad and sister and my Great Auntie. She only got to find out as I told her I would go to the hospital with her last week when she had to go for a bone scan, then I freaked when I realised it was in the Nuclear Medicine department!!! She had to be injected with radioactive stuff to make her bones show up which made her dangerous for me and baby to be around!

I took her home and told OH and when we looked it up, we realised that I couldn't take her back for the scan so OH went instead. We had to explain why so she now knows.

Other than that, everyone else will find out in a couple of weeks after our official scan.

 

[happy-chick]

We waited until 12 weeks this time as we told everyone then I m/c last time and it wasnt nice everyone knowing your business.

Its a personal choice though, everyone is different. Do it when you feel ready

 

[purple13]

i told everyone virtually straight away (at about 6 weeks). i'm useless at keeping secrets, and work colleagues guessed as soon as i stopped drinking, despite my "i'm on antibiotics" excuse... i don't believe in jinxing things and would rather people knew if i m/c cos then they can be supportive.

its all a matter of personal preference though - my OH's parents were mortified that we'd told people as my f-i-l is really superstitious!

 

[Springbaby4me]

Hi girls

Well we havent told anyone yet I am 6 weeks today. We are telling my mum & DH mum & dad next Wednesday. Its my birthday and we are having them over for dinner so they dont suspect a thing I am so excited to tell them I cant wait.

I had a work Hen night and wedding last week and didnt drink and now everyone in work has jumped to their on conclusion even though I told them I was on antibotics.

Myself and DH said that if I do get morning sickness and it all gets too much for me I will tell my boss early so if I need to take some time off in then he will know why.

This is my first pregnancy so am a little worried that everything is ok, I do feel shattered and and very bloated but still cant quite believe this is happening for us. 6 more weeks till the scan I hope it gets here quickly!

 

[Gem & Leland]

dont think there's anyone left to tell part from my father , who , even tho im 25 and married thinks im mad to want kids and i havent the guts to tell him im pregnant

 

[Babylicious]

My dad doesn't know either, ironically I'm 25 too

 

[UmmAli]

I told my friends (and my husband told all his mates and family) when I took the home tests. I told my family 1 week after, as soon as I got my results from the doctor's test.

Can't keep secrets... especially NOT THIS!!!
If - God forbid - something goes wrong, I'd talk about it to my friends/family anyway... so I thought there was no point hiding it!

 

[Gem & Leland]

my hubby not told anyone apart from his mum , couple of mates thats its , not even his wor , even tho he had time off sunday and mon for me and the hospital !

 

[breezee1984]

i myself see no reason to hold off telling people and in which case we told everyone...except my oldest sister who made me feel very bad when I miscarried by telling me I let everyone down which spiraled me into a hateful person who I never want to know ever again...but other then her we told everyone

 

[floppit]

I pretty much told whoever I wanted to right from the start. When I told them I said 'It's early days so there aren't any garauntees and the risks are a llittle higher at 36' (my age). I figured if something happened at least they would know and I'd have their support, if I miscarried it's nothing to be ashamed of or to try and hide.

On the other hand it's meant I'm not alone in this early wait to get to the 12 week mark, I have lots of people cheering me and bub on and the atmosphere is positive. I really wanted happy memories of this feeling and time, whether it ended with a baby or not I wanted to enjoy each moment of the journey.

I did have one friend who told me that 'I wasn't supposed to' tell anyone till twelve weeks - that is her issue not mine. My best friend on the other hand said she would have been very hurt had I not told her straight away and telling her made a real difference because she's a nurse and was the one who told me to stop taking the anti biotics I was on - my GP's didn't bother to check! (I changed GP's 'cos the anti biotics are harmful to embryos).

Telling people WILL NOT make things go wrong, miscarriage is NOT because a woman was happy, got excited, told friends or bought a pink dress.

 

[clarey]

Well said Floppit!

I am so fed up of people being superstitious and its terrible to feel you have 'brought it on yourself' cos you started knitting too early or something daft!

Sad things do happen, but I told my close family at 6 weeks after a little scare cos I thought it would be so sad for the first they knew of the pregnancy was that it had ended. My Mum and Sis are so excited I would have been sorry of cheat them of that!

That said I havent really told anyone else yet cos my bro has been abroad, but we have started to discuss whos next to tell once my brother knows next weekend. It will be a relief cos its hard avoiding nights out and heavy lifting etc! Can look forward to being made a fuss of then!!

 

[loz]

I dont know either! Last time I told everyone really early and then miscarried but everyone was really supportive. People from work even sent me flowers and card. We have thought about trying to keep it a secret until 12 weeks but I think I will burst until then. I have told my sister and close friend but dont know how long I will hold out! It depends on how ill I feel and whether I need time off work!!! See what feels right? . .

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

With the first one, we told everyone as soon as it was confirmed by the doctor (He didn't even check, maybe due to the several pregnancy kits I weed on!) This time we are going to wait don't think I will make it until 12 weeks. But my hb mum goes in for a operation soon I will be over 9 wks so he is going to tell her then, then we will spread the news from then.

 

[muppetmummy]

Both sets of parents know now, and OH's brother, but that's it. I wouldn't like to have to explain to loads of people why I'm not pregnant anymore if something happened.

 

[Springbaby4me]

Morning girls

Well we told our families at the weekend and it was just amazing, tears all round. My mum is just beside herself, I am her only daughter and this is her first grandchild. It was such a wonderful experience I am so glad we have done it. I too have said to them all that unfortunatly sometimes things happen so we have to just try and keep positive till the scan which I hope to get in about 5.5 weeks! We are not telling anyone else till then.

Am feeling very relieved now though that our famlies know its lovely to share the joy with them and not keep secrets.