Whats a good age gap between children?

[EllieBelle]

Ok so I know I am only half way through my 1st pregnancy, but whilst on holiday last week my DH anounced that if we are going to have 2 we might as well start trying for the 2nd one pretty much straight away after number one is born, and he does have a point I suppose!

To a certain degree we dont have time on our side - Im 34 and DH is 40, however we could wait a little while before trying again.

Just wondered what gap you left between having another baby, and what were the reasons for it? Would you do things differently if you had the choice again?

 

[mummykay]

the right age gap is the one u can cope with imo

may be a gd idea to pop this one out then see how u are bodywise?

hth

 

[lea m]

I agree with Mummykay! You might plan to TTC straight away but after having this one change your mind! Or vice versa!
Though I will add I had my first 3 children within 2 1/2 years! Theres 10 1/2 months between my first and second and 18 months between my second and third! I was fine with it and found it to be a great age gap as they are all close now!
This time there will be nearly 7 years between my last two and Im a little worried?! lol

 

[Minxy]

Agreed. You can't possibly decide about TTC #2 until you see how this one goes.

As for the ideal gap, that's an impossible question! There are too many variables. Whatever you end up with will be the best gap for you

 

[lisa282]

Some people cope just fine with 2 babies close together, but personally we chose to have about 3 years between ours for several reasons. I didnt want to have to run around after 2 babies/2 toddlers at the same time, forever changing nappies tbh. We made sure our eldest was out of nappies and completely potty trained before trying for no.2. Also he goes to nursery 3 days a week so I get a bit of time alone to bond with the new baby which I wouldnt have had otherwise. I think its a little unfair tbh to ravish all your attention and time on the first baby and build that great bond, then not be able to do it with the second, so wanted to make sure I had at least some time when its just me and her. Along the same lines, at least I get a little rest on those 3 days my son is at nursery and it gives me chance to catch up on a little sleep if I need it when baby is asleep or otherwise I get jobs done that cant be done when both kids are here...ironing, cleaning etc. Plus on a purely selfish note, my son is that bit older now that he understands instructions well and so can help me with things if I need it and it helps him feel involved. He quite often fetches nappies or drinks or something for me while Im feeding the baby, which obviously helps me out and makes him feel like he is helping me which he loves. So far it is working out really well for us, and Im glad we chose to have this age gap between them. Plus I think it will ne nice when they are a little older, especially with my son being the eldest, as hopefully he will look out for my daughter and protect her a little as they grow up

 

[maybebaby]

Like the others have said it has to be a personal choice. There's no 'ideal' gap.

We decided very early on that we wanted small gaps between kids, so started TTC again when DS was about 9 months. There will be 20/21 months between them. Assuming that all is well & we don't change our minds we'll then start TTC #3 in December 2009 so there will hopefully be a similar gap between 2 & 3.

I'm expecting hard work for a few years what with nappies & all but hopefully they'll all grow up close and be good friends. Also if everything goes according to plan I'll have had my last baby by the time I'm 26, so will have plenty of 'me' time later on when they're all at school

 

[Xena]

We started to TTC number 2 when Lydia was 6 months old, but it took us a few months to conceive, so we ended up with a 22 month age gap, and it's very nice. I'm actually glad I didn't get pregnant when we first started trying - I like this age gap

 

[kellie80]

we have just under 14 months between our 2 youngest and I wouldn't recommend that age gap to anyone. Its REALLY hard work! I have a 5 and a half year gap Between number 1 and 2 and although things are great with them I do think its a little too long. If I could go back now Id choose a 3 year gap between them all.

 

[Red_Fairy]

everyones different.

I have just 10 months between mine, wasnt planned, but i wouldnt have it any other way. Yes its hard (neither of my girls sleep through!) - but theres so much more +++s too.

 

[Redshoes]

There's 15months between my babies and I'm finding it a LOT easier than I had expected though it is early days heehee The only time I find things can get a bit stressed is when I am BF'ing Ophelia and Isaac decides to be naughty, because he knows I can't stop him I'd love another baby now, but that's just crazy I think we'll leave the next age gap at least 3yrs, and have another 2 close like Isaac and Ophelia, all being well

 

[Sherlock]

Ok so I know I am only half way through my 1st pregnancy, but whilst on holiday last week my DH anounced that if we are going to have 2 we might as well start trying for the 2nd one pretty much straight away after number one is born, and he does have a point I suppose!

To a certain degree we dont have time on our side - Im 34 and DH is 40, however we could wait a little while before trying again.

Just wondered what gap you left between having another baby, and what were the reasons for it? Would you do things differently if you had the choice again?

Your hubby won't be saying lets try for another one straight away once your LO arrives methinks Seriously, having 2 children under 2 is hard work. Contending with a toddler who is into everything and a newborn is tough going. Plus I think its nice to spend some time with one before having another.

Also niether of you are old. I was 37 when I had our son and although we hope to try again when he is around 9 months old we are not pressuring ourselves. Our son has been wonderful but incredibly hard work. I want some time to bounce back from it all (things like PND you can never say you won't ever get, even months after baby is born) and get my body back in to shape before trying for another. It takes about a year for a womans body to recover from the previous pregnancy and labour. And to build up vitamins and nutrients drained from you from the pregnancy. I'd want to be in the best shape possible physically and mentally first. As I am an older woman pregnancy wise I feel I owe it to myself and future child to do the best possible by us both. Hence having some breathing room. We have said to try from Feb-March onwards and have given ourselves till I tirn 40 to try to conceive again After that we will stop trying for another one. I think we've given ourselves a fair window of time there.

I think 2-3 years between children is a good balance. That way you get a decent amount of time to spend with the first before the second comes along. And then you can spend time with the second easier and not feel like you are neglecting either of them.

 

[Sylvie]

Ok so I know I am only half way through my 1st pregnancy, but whilst on holiday last week my DH anounced that if we are going to have 2 we might as well start trying for the 2nd one pretty much straight away after number one is born, and he does have a point I suppose!

To a certain degree we dont have time on our side - Im 34 and DH is 40, however we could wait a little while before trying again.

That's exactly what we were saying before Louis was born... and for the same reason as I'm 33 and OH is 39
Since Louis was born OH says that we can wait a bit more than planned and I say that I don't want another baby

 

[trixipaws]

i always wanted kids, and thought 2 years would be a nice age gap, and i wanted 2 or 3 kids. but i wasnt gonna even start thinking about ttc until i was getting on for 30

i got pregnant several years earlier unexpectedly tho, so i wasnt mentally prepared for any children yet let alone more than one!

now my daughter is 15 months if i still wanted that 2 year age gap we'd need to get cracking NOW lol but im sooooooooooooooooooooo not ready, i still feel im too young (imo) to be in the family way and i still feel like i only recently gave birth the time really does fly so iv definately got a change of heart its looking now like the age gap with mine might be like 4 or 5 years.

anyway even saying that my boyf i dont think wants any more EVER lol so unless i get him to change his mind there wont be no age gaps coz we'll onely have one

 

[swan1]

My little boy will be 2 in October and i think we will start trying again after christmas, so hopefully just about 3 years between them. I am 36 so again dont have loads of time to leave. I also want to shift a couple of stone (well 3 and a half to be honest ) before i start and by end of jan that should be achievable if i work hard at it. I havent lost any ofthe weight i put on with Charlie, so i am not having another baby until i have !!!!!

 

[EllieBelle]

Thank you so much for the fantastic, and very different replies!

I realise everyone is different, and what works for some people, doesnt work for others!

Years ago I was a nanny for a year for 4 children all under the age of 4 (yes twins were part of the equation). It put me off having children for a very long time

I realise I need to see how we get on with one first, before making any decisions, but its great to have other people's views to consider also!!!

Thanks again!