What if you can never have children?

[LouiseB]

Ultimate worse case scenario - you can't have babies or adopt or even foster.

What will you do?

I personally imagine myself with a lot of land and breeding some kind of animal that needs some tlc as a species.

I'd probably feel the need to make some more adult friends and set out doing a lot of voluntary work

 

[kizzibea]

Worst case scenario... I think we'd get some more pets, & maybe save to go on a long travelling holiday.

I might go back to teaching so that I could get to spend time with children though at the same time it might be hard working with kids knowing I could never have one of my own.

 

[BabyLover]

I don't actually know....I am not really an animal person, I like cats but only one at a time lol

I suppose I would just have to deal with it

Donna x

 

[Piglet10]

tbh i think after my mc i was sooo worried that maybe i cud get pg but cudnt carry??...

hope this comes out the right way lol but i think it must be worse to have a mc before uve had kids than after uve had one... (my mil who had 3 after she had 2 kids and before 4 more lol agreed with me) not the loss is greater but the fear u cant have kids... if uve already had a baby u know u can...

do i sound terrible?

*girls i just realised this was in long term ttc and fertility issues! im v sorry i hope i havent offended anyone by coming on and posting on this topic xx*

 

[LouiseB]

do i sound terrible?

Pure evil.



Actually i thought the same when my friend had a failed pregnancy, that her already having a child seemed to give her a lot of comfort.

That said, my SIL had a few mc's before she had her first and it seemed to make her more determined. I wonder if soeone already with kids would write off attemtping to have more quicker...

 

[Piglet10]

I wonder if soeone already with kids would write off attemtping to have more quicker...

what ya meean?? lol sorry if its obv haha xx

 

[LouiseB]

For example.

Someone has two children.

They want to try for a third, but they experience some mc's, so instead of continuing for their third child they decide that it is too painful to insist when they already have two beautiful children.

 

[Piglet10]

that happened my aunt .... she had three kids their in there 30s now.... and mc after her kids and so she gave up even tho she wanted four...

when i had my mc , she tried to counsel me and tell me id never get over it etc etc and i dont want to sound harsh or mean but yes u do get over it ... its hard but u have to ... but shes just 'one of those ones' you kno?? the world owes her a favour type?? where im the type that always thinks theres worse off...

after my mc i had 'loads' of people saying "welll at least you know u can get preg, think of all the people that cant even get preg" and as much as i know this is true i wanted to stab them all lol...

id say if someone has kids already esp if they have at least one of each it prob is easier to stop if u dont wanna risk another mc?? xx

 

[Binzy]

This thought goes through my head alot. An old school friend has had 4 or 5 rounds of IVF with no luck and her husband is totally against adoption (he was adopted). I can't imagine how they feel. It must be awful.
My OH isn't keen on adoption either, it's a really tough one. I honestly have no idea what I'd do.

 

[star fish]

I try to NEVER NEVER consider this. It would be crushing in the extreme. Absolutely devastating to me and my husband. Not sure we would ever really be happy with life without children in our future. I cant dwell on the what ifs.......... it's too big a fear.

 

[LouiseB]

Binzy, i'm surprised hubby being adopted and he refuses to have an adopted child... is there any particular reason? I'm just curious so don't feel you have to say if it is too personal.

You know what i'm like StarFish, a planner through and through - not that it's gotten me anywhere so far

 

[traci]

I'm one of those people that always considers the worst case scenario! It goes thru my mind alost of the time, what if I cant!?! Its hard for me, I wouldnt be able to afford ivf if it came to it, that I had my nhs cycles and didnt get pregnant. I wouldnt want to adopt, as my oldest brother is adopted and its ripped my family apart. The fact that I have a step son doesnt help either, cos he's still not mine. I really dont know what I'd do, but I do know I'd be completely crushed if I couldnt have children!