What a choice!!!!

[frankie707]

Just got off the phone to DH who is away for a bit.
He is deploying at the start of December (2nd) and has 2 options for getting home for baby:

1 - He waits until I call and say the baby is on the way and then tries to get back from the gulf in time (can't see how he would make it in less than 20-24hrs) and then might only be able to stay for a few days before going back before christmas and then thats him away until June
If he does this then I either stay at my house on my own over christmas or go to my parents house (2hrs away) but not keen on setting up my house and then packing up and staying at my parents house with a very new baby.

2 - Get a guaranteed period of 2 weeks leave from around the 20th Dec, where he would be able to see the LO for the whole time and we would be able to spend christmas and new year together in our own home. This would mean I could stay at home and he could help with LO and bond for a solid period of time. BUT he would almost defintely miss the birth.

What do you girls think?
It's such a hard decision

 

[isobel84]

i would pick Number 2!! cuz there is a risk he might not come home for the birth aswell!

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

i would personally rather have him home for xmas with guaranteed time together. it will be harder for him to leave if he can only have a few days - and if you know now he definately wont be there for the birth you can mentally prepare yourself.

weigh that up with the will he/wont he whilst you are trying to concentrate on delivering the baby!

You never know, baby may well hang on until 20th for daddy to come home!

ultimately, its up to you xx

 

[setdse]

i'd say number 2. The binding is more important than him being there. and as you said there is a chance he wont make it back anyway!

 

[frankie707]

I have to say that's my gut reaction as well, thanks.

 

[JJ Mum]

oh what a choice frankie?

I would go number 2 too - you could have your mum or a mate as birth partner instead , and get them to film the whole birth for him to watch afterwards when he is back, and have baby's first xmas together as a family X

unless you can pursuade hospital to book a set in advance induction at term and he come back for his two weeks then

 

[frankie707]

Don't really want an induction and also due his programme around the due date he almost defo wouldn't get the whole two weeks just a few days.

I figure if I know when he's home I can be prepared to do the birth without him and then look forward to him coming home for christmas with his new son/daughter. It also means that I can stay in my own home.

Next issue, if plan no2 happens, is how soon do I let his parents visit? Do I let them meet LO before DH has even had a chance to see her/him? It feels wrong but then if baby did arrive on time can I really not let them visit for 11 days?

 

[JJ Mum]

I think you will want help or family around you if hubby is not around, then they can leave you alone totally when he is home to make the full use of the days

 

[Laura_C]

My hubby used to be in the forces, is there absolutely anyway they would be able to delay him going out until say after Christmas and New Year so he could be here for the birth and maybe a couple of weeks before being deployed? I know you have probably checked this but just thought I would mention it. It's a real shame if they don't offer any flexibility. I would be tempted to try and see if they can offer a better situation for you.

Otherwise, I would say option 2 sounds the better. So sorry your having to make this difficult choice!

xxx

 

[munchkin1982]

i would definatelu opt for option 2 hun but again... your choice x

 

[Annie050408]

I'd definitely go for option 2 hon, although obviously neither is ideal for you. x

 

[frankie707]

Thanks everyone for all your opinions/advice, much apprieciated.

Laura_C - unfortunately DH defo has to go out at the start of December, no way of negotiating time off from due date until after christmas but I am trying to get him to push it and see if he can take some of his annual leave and maybe come home for more like 3 weeks over christmas rather than the 2 he is entitled to. At the moment it doesn't look like we can avoid the choice between being preset at the birth and being around over christmas.

 

[FebMum2Be]

Oh hun, what a horrible decision you have to make.. I would go for option 2.. I hope they can work something out for you so that he can be there for both xxxx

 

[Buttons8]

Thats a really difficult situation hun
He would be much better needed afterwards i think and I would def go for option 2. Can you get an alternative birth partner? Good luck with whatever you decide. x

 

[Sol]

very difficult situation but I would go for option 2 as well hun good luck hun hopefully you can have it extended xxxxxxxxx

 

[kay126]

option 2, because ur birth may happen so quick with option 1 he could end up missing it anyway xxx

 

[SmallPurpleCat]

Oh...nightmare choice but as everyone else has said, no. 2 would be better. Hopefully he will make it back for the birth!

As for the family visiting thing, I think you'll want some support until DH gets back. How does DH feel about it?

 

[frankie707]

Thanks girls - you're brill.
I agree with all of you, option 2 is best.
My mum will come and be my birth partner and hopefully will come and stay with me until he gets home, so I will have help. As for his family I think that I will just play it by ear and see how things go at the time.