Firstly, thank you both Claire and Jade for keeping you all updated. next, thank you for all the lovely words in both threads (boy do i feel popular! two threads just for me!!). you are such a lovely bunch, words can not express how much your kind words and wishes have helped - i was unable to reply to threads (dam hospital wouldn't let me log in to the forum as my user name has a & in it and there was no & key!!), but i did read some of them in the middle of the night when Lewis was in SCBU. Anyway, we are finally home. Lewis has perked right up - his cultures came back clear. Because he was grunting he was treated as if he had an infection, and had extra antibiotics aimed at a particular nasty infection. tests where sent, but we had to wait 48 hours for the results. They have all come back clear!! He has taken to my boobies really well... My milk has come in, and boy do i know it! going to go and sit in the bath in a bit with cold flannels on them last night he was attached more or less from 9 - 2am. He would feed for 15 mins. i would wind and put him down and then 5 mins later he was searching for more!! i ended up asking the nurses to cup feed him a few ml of formula and he took 40!! When i get around to it i will type up what i remember from my birth story, but im ashamed of how i acted in labour and have blanked most of it out... i reacted to the pethidine and became distant and quite nasty to those around me who where just trying to help All that matters is Lewis is here and we are home!!! alice still isn't 100% sure of him, but has given him a cuddle and keeps stroking his head. here are some pics from when he was mins old: I didn't think i could love another baby as much as i do alice, but Lewis has just gone and proved me wrong!! the pair of them are so perfect im head over heels!! i will try and catch up with some posts over the next few days, but i hope you are all well!