Warning, massive rant

[Geminiblue]

Im about cd52 17dpo
have cramps mild and lower back pain blah blah blah
was told by doc on Monday that I could be pcos and or pre menopausal
told by nurse after doing a bfn I might have ectopic or chemical preg as I have tested myself faint faint bfp on 10mIU - going to get OH to poas tonight and morning to compare

I feel so down, its like I cant breath anymore, I keep thinking its ok this is it and then I get kicked in the teeth again, I know I will prob feel better tomorrow but after doing opks for 40days!!! (this cycle lets not even think about last cycle) followed by 100s of hgcs as I dont know when my ov is as my last cycle was 70 days!!!

FOR CHRIST SAKE I WANT TO SCREAM my doc said read your body signs....WHAT FOR THE ENTIRE EFFING 70 EFFING EFFIN DAYS YOU EFFIN MORON DO I LOOK LIKE AN EFFING EFF WHIT EFF OFF that along with the nurse ..."ohh you know that stress can delay your ......" OH NO EFFING SHIT SHERLOCK

GOD I wonder why Im stressed and crying all the time and knackered

 

[Geminiblue]

...I was actually really nice and polite to the doc and nurse and they are really lovely normally but I feel so frustrated.....going to see doc monday and going to ask her to take blood and test whatever they can on that ....THATS IF THEY CAN GET BLOOD OUT OF ME arrrrgggghhhhhhhh Im off again

 

[Lilelephant]

Oh sweetheart docs can be so frustrating and along with ttc it is just horrible when u feel like this!

 

[charliesmissing]

I agree mine is totally pathetic, i swear he got his medical degree online. went to him over a year ago cos my ankle was really swollen and painful, he said it was just a sprain. Then i went to the walk in clinic and they refused to see me as it wasn't an emergency so after god knows how many trips to the doctors, i went to a family friend who used to be a GP and now worked in A&E, he took an x ray and discovered i'd been walking around on a broken ankle for 3 months. Have no idea how that one got missed!

Another time he told me I had high blood pressure and did I feel stressed, I just wanted to yell out "YOU'RE STRESSING ME OUT YOU NONCE!" But I stayed composed, smiled sweetly and said no.

Then there was the time not so long ago I went to get checked out because I havn't fallen pregnant yet and he said "you know you have to have sex to get pregnant right". He meant it as a joke, but I wasn't laughing.

 

[Geminiblue]

OMG thats unbelievable isnt it Charlie and thank you MrsMc to both of you just gutted think Im out now its actually dpo16 Im wishing the time away now, dont know when my af will be xxx

 

[Tracey M]

Loving your rant - go girl get it out your system!

 

[Geminiblue]

ha ha ha thanks tracey xxx

 

[MissJuly10]

I totally agree Gem!!

Being an irregular cycle-r myself, I feel your pain hun. I can only offer you a shoulder to cry on, an ear to rant in and a hug.

It's incredibly frustrating and the most annoying and heartwrenching thing about ttc, not knowing where the feck we are in our cycles!

I have no pearls of wisdom or anything to help, I just hope that the docs can sort something out to help you and to put your mind at ease.

Massive, massive hugs hun. You're not alone. x x x

 

[Geminiblue]

oh missj thanks so much, it feels so lonely, none of my friends have cycles like mine and not a lot of people on here do either so when you dont know where in your cycle you are watching your body signs everyday, testing and wondering, it gives you a headache, and that last cycle for me was for the entire 63 days of a 70day cycle!!! its exhausting, people dont realise what its like doing that for two months and wondering for more than that, only to have a total of about 14 days rest out of 120 days so far. Thanks its reassuing you and others understand xxxx

 

[MissJuly10]

None of my friends do either, I'm literally the only one in my social circle and family circle that has irregular cycles.
Yup, I'm keeping my eyes peeled every single day because every little sign/symptom/change is crucial to pinpointing where I am, but even then, I end up back at square one!

I know that right now it seems pretty hopeless but stay strong honey. You know you can always message me if you need to. x x

 

[Nurse 26]

irregular cycles SUCK!

its good to get the rant out of your system though, hope you get some answers soon and your cycle sorts its self out!

hugs! x x x