Right I will start at the begining!
OH and his dad have always been very close. His parents split up when he was about 17 and he never really got on with his mum that well, and always thought she was the unreasonable one that caused the marriage to end. Just over a year ago his mum moved back to town and he has started getting on with her really well, and sees her in a whole new way, and realised that his dad wasnt entirly without blame. The problem is his dad is very stuborn and thinks he is never wrong. Recently we had noticed that things all seemed a bit strained with his dad, but had no idea why, or even if it was anything to do with us or if he was having problems in his relationship or something. Anyway it all came out a month ago. His dad works off shore every other month, a couple of days before he was due to go away again his other half popped over with Noahs birthday presents, and said his he wouldnt bring them over cause he knows he is not allowed to come round and visit during the day! But that she was fed up all the sillyness, so she has brought them over. Well I just asked her what the hell she was talking about, we had never said he wasnt aloud to visit. It seemed that he has twisted our words. Several months ago, I was working part time monday, wednesdays and thursdays, Oh was taking a days holiday every friday, so we could go out and do things as a family for the holidays. I was also studying for my degree which I only had the Tuesday to do the whole weeks study in. We explained this to them at the time, so asked if they could only visit at evenings and weekends, cause they used to drop over during the day for hours on end, and I really didnt have the time, and was falling behind on my studies. No somehow he is claiming that we never said this, and we just said he was not alowed to visit his garandson during the week! Which he was apparently very hurt about. (The fact that it makes no sense that we would have just said that to him wasnt mentioned) Anyway he never told us is this and it took his other half to come over and tell us before we even knew their was a problem.
Anyway he has been offshore this last month so we havent seen him to resolve it since. But he is now hope and its his 60th birthday today. Normally he texts to say when he is ome, but this time he hasnt. And we have heard nothing from him. He doesnt know about the pregnancy yet, and we were going to enclose a copy of the scan in his birthday card as a surprise. But we wont do this till the weekend, the same time that we will see im for the first time to resolve this. But knowing how stuborn he is and the fact that he is still clearly making an issue out of this means I dont know what to do now. I dont want to give him this news and it is spoilt by a row. So dont know if to just say nothing still. I have a feeling its going to get nasty. This happened once before with OH and his dad and they didnt speak for months.
What should we do?
OH and his dad have always been very close. His parents split up when he was about 17 and he never really got on with his mum that well, and always thought she was the unreasonable one that caused the marriage to end. Just over a year ago his mum moved back to town and he has started getting on with her really well, and sees her in a whole new way, and realised that his dad wasnt entirly without blame. The problem is his dad is very stuborn and thinks he is never wrong. Recently we had noticed that things all seemed a bit strained with his dad, but had no idea why, or even if it was anything to do with us or if he was having problems in his relationship or something. Anyway it all came out a month ago. His dad works off shore every other month, a couple of days before he was due to go away again his other half popped over with Noahs birthday presents, and said his he wouldnt bring them over cause he knows he is not allowed to come round and visit during the day! But that she was fed up all the sillyness, so she has brought them over. Well I just asked her what the hell she was talking about, we had never said he wasnt aloud to visit. It seemed that he has twisted our words. Several months ago, I was working part time monday, wednesdays and thursdays, Oh was taking a days holiday every friday, so we could go out and do things as a family for the holidays. I was also studying for my degree which I only had the Tuesday to do the whole weeks study in. We explained this to them at the time, so asked if they could only visit at evenings and weekends, cause they used to drop over during the day for hours on end, and I really didnt have the time, and was falling behind on my studies. No somehow he is claiming that we never said this, and we just said he was not alowed to visit his garandson during the week! Which he was apparently very hurt about. (The fact that it makes no sense that we would have just said that to him wasnt mentioned) Anyway he never told us is this and it took his other half to come over and tell us before we even knew their was a problem.
Anyway he has been offshore this last month so we havent seen him to resolve it since. But he is now hope and its his 60th birthday today. Normally he texts to say when he is ome, but this time he hasnt. And we have heard nothing from him. He doesnt know about the pregnancy yet, and we were going to enclose a copy of the scan in his birthday card as a surprise. But we wont do this till the weekend, the same time that we will see im for the first time to resolve this. But knowing how stuborn he is and the fact that he is still clearly making an issue out of this means I dont know what to do now. I dont want to give him this news and it is spoilt by a row. So dont know if to just say nothing still. I have a feeling its going to get nasty. This happened once before with OH and his dad and they didnt speak for months.
What should we do?