Upset over Gender :(

[Cantstop]

My friend is a right little Barbie, VERY girly and wanted a girl so much - when she found out she was having a boy she was so depressed she was off work for 3 days and was in a kind of denial about it (she even bought a few girls outfits just incase the scan was wrong!) and when he was born she struggled to bond and suffered PND. But she has gone on to be a brilliant mum and they adore each other, he has cracking hair do's and is stylishly dressed and all is good! Don't feel bad about being disappointed, you can't help how you feel and what your gut feelings are - but at least now you've got 5 months to get yourself excited about a boy before he gets here , Also my friend went on to have a girl a few years later so you've got plenty of time to have your girl.

 

[CARNAT22]

OP - Give yourself a little time to come to terms with this and if you are still struggling in a week or two maybe you do need to seek some outside help? As Cosmic says gender disappointment is a very real issue......

What is your support network like? Do you have male family members to help with the "boy-ish" stuff you don't think you'll be very good at?

I am sorry you have received some negative comments, I've had 3 miscarriages and don't know if pregnancy number 4 will be any different (I hope and pray it is!)

I don't judge you though hun, I feel sorry that you are so upset even though bub is healthy though.... It could have been a whole lot worse than just being the 'wrong gender' and I hope as time passes that makes you come to love your little man all the more becuase he is healthy and strong and your little bub!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[jules84]

I don't judge you though hun, I feel sorry that you are so upset even though bub is healthy though.... It could have been a whole lot worse than just being the 'wrong gender' and I hope as time passes that makes you come to love your little man all the more becuase he is healthy and strong and your little bub!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

This is what I was trying to say even though I didn't word it very well.

Sorry!

 

[x kylie x]

Aww thank you very much everyone for all your advice I am sat here crying again knowing how awful it is to of felt so sad

I do understand how very lucky i am to be pregnant at all, i also got told i couldnt have children naturally and was undergoing fertility checks ect... and i never ever thought that if i ever fell pregnant i would care what i was having.. but i was obviously very wrong...

I just keep thinking this might be my only chance my only little miracle and thats what makes me upset more than anything knowing i might never have a little girl

As for giving myself a shake i have done everything i can for this baby literally... i gave up smoking...my job...maybe even my soul mate... i have changed my life completely to try and give my baby the best start in life that i can

I know i shouldnt feel this way and trust me if i could help it then i wouldnt but ive got 24 weeks to sort myself out and i am sure as soon as i hold my little boy then i will fall in love x

And yeh the street dancing idea is really good i never looked at it that way but very true im sure i can find things that we can do together

Thanks so much for your advice everyone it means alot xx

 

[x kylie x]

I have added a photo of his bits lol and also one of the 3d! that isnt the scariest one though lol x

 

[CARNAT22]

Lovely pic's Kylie!

Your little fella is a beaut

xxxxxxx

 

[mrswarner87]

ive got a boy and a girl, they both have their good points and bad. my son runs about playing ben 10 alien games which bores me but he is also compasionate and loving and his cuddles are beautiful.. i imagin when he is a fully grown man looking after me and his sister and i burst with pride. my little girl is a baby playing, make up lover. but her tantrums could win awards... girls are very tempramental.
with this baby i kinda hope for a boy because i would love to think that my boy would have a little brother to play boy games with and take their dad to the pub when their older, then it would just be me and meg doing girlie stuff. BUT... if this baby comes out a girl then ill be fully prepared for pink dresses and more tantrums lol. you will be surprised how fun little boys are. girls can be a tad fussy. xxx
i have no doubt that you will spend hours imagining life with a son and will fall madly in love with him. xxx

 

[jules84]

Sounds like you and you're lil man will do just fine! Sorry if I upset you further. X

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hunnie, do not let the harsh comments get to you at all. You have no reason to feel guilt and are allowed to be disappointed, doesn't mean you don't love your baby or aren't grateful. People who have no preference do not understand gender disappointment and need to read more about it before being so downright judgemental about something they know nothing about.
I have 4 boys, I am desperate for a girl, it's my dream and always has been. Doesn't mean my boys aren't my world, doesn't mean I won't love this baby regardless. What it does mean is that I will be utterly disappointed beyond belief if this one is another boy. This is my last chance, my last chance to achieve my dream. Now if anyone wants to come on here and tell me to get a grip or give myself a shake, go ahead, make my day!
This is a place for support for god sake.

 

[Jayjay027]

I don't fully understand gender disappointment. I'd love a little girl, but I'm convinced I'm having a boy and I'm not bothered either way.
I don't think Jules meant any disrespect. I think she was just trying to point out how lucky u r to be pregnant, and I think people are taking it the wrong way.

You will come to terms with having a little boy and he'll become ur whole world. Don't for 1 second think ull be a bad mum, you won't be! You've already made so many changes for your LO and u should be proud of urself for that!
Don't beat urself up about this. Go buy some blue outfits, ull fall in love with them when u imagine YOUR little baby looking gorgeous in them xx

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[jules84]

Thanks jayjay

I don't understand why on this forum when someone apologizes for how they worded something when its been misread and tries to Explain themselves its not good enough?

I have apologised and explained myself, we are all adults that should be more than enough.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't think anything was misread, I read the words give yourself a shake and get a grip.
My post wasn't aimed at you personally. It was a general statement about the usual judgemental crap that is bandied about when someone feels gender disappointment.
Now I personally couldn't give two hoots if people want to judge my feelings, they haven't walked in my shoes but the op is clearly anxious and upset by her feelings of disappointment.
I'll have my opinion whether op has accepted your apology for your harsh post or not, as I say, my post wasn't aimed at you per se.

 

[jules84]

I never said get a grip. And when I said give urself a shake I meant shake it off.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I didn't say that you did say that, someone else said it. As I said, my post was a general post, not aimed at you personally.

 

[jules84]

Sorted then x

 

[Coconut]

Agree give yourself a shake

 

[cosmicgirl]

Agree give yourself a shake

Who do you think you are?

 

[cosmicgirl]

This judgemental shit is your first post coconut? Nice!

 

[lanny]

I had a boy with my first I didn't find out the sex as I didn't want the disappointment of maybe it being a boy so my whole pregnancy i lived in hope. He was born 5 days late and as soon as I seen him I was in total love, and he is still a mummy's boy 7 years later. You can't help the way you are feeling no one understands stands unless they have felt it themselves. I would of loved nothing more to not care about the sex of my baby and just enjoyed my pregnancy but it's all I thought about. And felt terrible knowing I really wanted a girl.

I'm really lucky I now also have a girl so hopefully one day you will too, but at the moment just give yourself time to get over that this one isn't a girl and I'm sure when you see him you will fall in love xxxx

 

[Kayelle]

you still have a long way to go and as you are a human you will love your baby growing in you more and more each day.
But what is wrong with little boys? Didn't know so many ppl were so desperate for girls