Trixipaws

[monster_munch]

Hey hun
Just wanted to write a post and say that this is the first time I have come in this section and yours was the first post I read.
It could have been the 2 years ago me that wrote it I know exactly how you feel and although I have no magic answer I just wanted to let you know that you are not the first (nor sadly the last) to feel as you do. Squiglet (as usual ) speaks a lot of sense, but I just felt the need to say how your story so far is almost identical to mine.

I used to eat one meal a day and that would be a small one. I would have sweets for lunch and so felt that I couldn't have a problem as I was eating sweets.
I was bordering on anorexia and bulemia - with me I would feel guilty for not eating and would then binge on chocolates, cake sweets etc for a day and then eat nothing but bread and water for a week after to punish myself.
I can also sympathise with what you are going through with your partner. My husband and I (although we were not married at the time) had the same arguements. In fact I was given an ultimatum one day and told that he would leave (had a bag packed and everything ) if I did not agree to get help as he did not want to start a life together only to watch me die.

He was right to do it as it was the starting point that got me on track. I had councelling at a special unit and the first thing I had to do was throw out my scales. I would thoroughly recommend it too. It's bloody hard to do and it took me a long time to take that step but when I did it and could no longer constantly check my weight it started to give me my freedom back.

I am by no means 100% better now. We moved house not long after and although I was referred to a new clinic I never attending my sessions and started 'self-medicating' Not with drugs etc but I deal with things alone now Dh seems to think I'm "cured" and I'm not yet sure that is possible. (although he does still control food in the house by cooking and coming with me to go food shopping) I have good and bad days - DH cooks as it means he controls the fact that I am eating, but when he's working away I tend not to eat (except custard creams at the mo - will be in trouble when that craving fades )... It's something I really need to get a grip on as it is a very slippery slope.

Sorry - that's a bit of an essay but wanted you to know that I am here if you want to chat (I'm going to PM you my mobile number - you don't have to take it if you don't want, but you have that option )

Much,much love

Monster_Munch
xx

 

[trixipaws]

thanku i read ur pm

 

[Tadpole]

Trix,

I think a lot of people will have similar stories. I have had this EXACT same conversation.

. In fact I was given an ultimatum one day and told that he would leave (had a bag packed and everything ) if I did not agree to get help as he did not want to start a life together only to watch me die.

He called my mum who got me to the doctors the same day. I agreed to take the anti-ds and I also saw;
a counsellor
a psychiatric nurse
a psyschatrist
another counsellor specialising in eating disorders & self-harm
and also went to group sessions on anxiety management (MASSIVELY helpful), distress tolerance and tai chi. This was all for about 6 months. After a year I came off the anti-d's.

That was 2 & half years ago and I have never looked back, Mike helped me to save myself and life just gets better & better.

Everyone on this forum loves you and wants to help you. You are a lovely, funny, beautiful person with an OH who loves you and a gorgeous daughter. We all want you to be as happy as you can be.

Good luck with everything, take care & pm me anytime you like.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[libs]

Me too

before I had Josh I only ate proper food one day a week - sundays at my nans I would eat lunch and dinner, the rest of the week nothing except little bits of things like a pitta bread. In photos before I had Josh you can see my hips bones through my clothes. God alone knows how I got pregnant.

It messed up my metabolism so that when I ate properly (as soon as I found out I was pregnant) I piled the weight on. So afterwards despite promising I would eat properly, I didn't and also used handfuls of laxatives every day. Eventually I stopped and ate, but now I have a constant battle to try and keep weight off. I can lose it- no problem, but then get caught in the spiral again - hence putting tons of weight on when I decided to ttc again as I was so scared of starving myself. Now I'm in the weight loss bit again and struggling not to get obsessive.

I think there's a lot more of us out there than we think.

 

[Babylicious]

I'm another

I dropped to 6 1/2 stone at one point and was admitted to the hospital in the end. I'm still at it now not really eating properly but i am trying

 

[trixipaws]

im concerned i might be a 'trigger' for some of u ladies
shall i get a mod to delete this thread and my other one and stop talking about it now? i cant offer to leave i love coming on here too much!

 

[Tadpole]

No Trix - we just wanted you to know you aren't alone. And that it can be dealt with. DON'T stop talking about it - the more you talk the easier things will be.

If that makes sense - I am at work and having to type quickly.

 

[MrsBrightside]

Im quite the same. When everything in my life goes out of my control I gain my control back by not eating.

Since TTC i have been eating and to be honest its been nice to not have to worry about how much weight I have been putting on (ive gone from a size 10 to a 12-14) Lee trys to help me as much as he can and without him, and now TTC, I would be a mess...

To be honest its not until you get a group of ppl together like here that you realise how many ppl using food as an escape.

The best thing you can do is talk to ppl about it, get there help that is offered and work throu each day as it comes!!

xx xx xx xx xx