Too many different answers on conception dates.

[yey]

Hi,
Thank you in advance of your kind help.

To be brief- my long-term g/f and I split due to differences on the timing for having children. She is now pregnant. After the split she met a guy that wanted children. They slept together unprotected from any contraception and he did ejaculate. This was sometime between the 6th and 12th Feb 2011.
I last had sex with her on the 28/29th December 2010 and didn't ejaculate inside her.
At her 12week scan she was told she was actually 16weeks (I'm pretty sure this is what she relayed to me anyway). Her due date is given as the 24th October 2011.

I have tried conception calculators and they produce dates in the region of 23rd Jan to 3rd Feb. She is adamant (and I do believe her entirely) that there was no sex with anyone else between our split and meeting this guy.
I do not know her last period around these dates, although I was aware they were very irregular.

Can anyone give an indication, or valid thoughts, on who could be the father? And please explain the rationale? I just want to do what is right.

Thank you very much.
Charles.

 

[Sarah13]

It can depend on her cycle but I'm due on 28th oct and pretty sure I conceived around 4th Feb, and the first day of my last period was 20th jan, this is the date the pregnancy is calculated from. I would guess the your not the father if the last time you had sex was 29th Dec. There can be a 5 day gap from having sex until ovulation as sperm can live this long, and ovulation can vary from month to month. If her cycles are as irregular as you say then you can only go by her scan dating for now and to be certain have a dna test when the baby is born.

 

[Laura_C]

I'm due on 29th October and we had sex on 6th Feb - no other sex at all, just on this particular day. I'm 24 weeks pregnant today x

My guess would be the guy she slept with between 6th -12th Feb or A N Other! Sh may have slept with someone a week or two before but you say your pretty sure that's not the case. As above it really depends on her cycle and when she likely ovulated.

 

[yey]

Hi - thank you. I few people have said exactly this. The ex OH is adamant it has to be mine, but the science doesn't add up.
If it is then I am more than willing to make things work (we had a great relationship which ended simply because she wanted kids; I didn't just yet). If it is mine then the problem has resolved itself and I get on with it
What I don't want to happen is that I continue along supportive as always, attend the birth, become all excited an then find out it isn't mine- I'd be pretty upset and to make things worse I have a teenage child to my ex-wife who I obviously don't want to confuse.
x

 

[Sarah13]

Your right to be worried as even with the two weeks either way that the scan date allows it still doesn't quite add up. She would be about 27 weeks pregnant now. Dates often even confuse us though, I mean pregnancy is calculated from your last period or two weeks before ovulation, to make the 40 weeks but anything between 38-42 weeks in pregnancy is normal to allow for long cycles! We laugh at this as my hubby was away offshore on this date for us! Same with my friend and her husband!

I would just be cautious for now, you know you ex best though. You really don't want to end up being very hurt, this happened to someone I know, the baby was a year before he found out baby wasnt his through rumors then him doing a DNA, it was terrible for him and his family who had bonded. If she's adamant then she will understand your concerns and why you want a dna just after the baby is born.

Just try and be a little sensitive and gentle with her as well, pregnancy is a hard time for us girls with all our hormones and a stressed mum really isnt good for the baby, and there is a slim chance the baby is yours with all these confusing ways to work things out it's just not an exact science! Good luck!

 

[Laura_C]

Given the dates you slept with her and the circumstances I do not think you are the father - she would be further along if you were. My cycles are 31 days and as you see above you can see when I conceived and my due date xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I agree.. there is a paternity test you can do while she is pregnant but it carries risks.. and i doubt she will do it..

The only true way you will know is with a dna test when the baby is born.. tell her u dont want to get too close until you are sure, which is 100% understandable as noone can expect you to bond with a baby u dont know is yours.. i suggest you buy a dna test in preperation and as soon as the baby is born get the test done fast track, if this is your baby you dont want to miss a moment!

I wish you all the luck in the world and i hope you both get the answers you want

 

[Jayceesmumma]

p.s i concieved on the14th feb and im due 14th November.. 22weeks pregnant tomorrow (mon)

as a comparison x

 

[knopk@]

It doesnt add up really. At 16 weeks they can be couple of days off but doesnt look like you can be the father