Confused about dates?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Verdigris, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Verdigris

    Verdigris New Member

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    Hello all. First time posting, sorry to just 'parachute in'.

    I have a question regarding pregnancy dates. I'm a male in his early twenties, and, as is perhaps the case with many guys my age, am no expert in the mysterious workings of a woman's body!

    My situation is this: myself and a girl I work with had a one night stand mid-December last year. At some point the condom broke; however, I did not ejaculate. A few hours prior I masturbated, but in the intervening period I showered and must have urinated at least four times. I mention this because as I understand it: you cannot become pregnant from pre-ejaculate (Cowper's fluid) UNLESS there is leftover sperm hanging around from a previous ejaculation. Now seeing as I had ejaculated a few hours before sex this is a possibility; but I have also read that by urinating the man can clear the urethra of said sperm. Different sources seem to have different things to say about this, so any input would be greatly appreciated!

    So life continues in its usual way, until I am contacted by the girl I work with with news that she is pregnant. She has a scan the next day, and, by working out some dates (more on that later), informs me that I am the father. I am obviously rather shocked, seeing as I did not ejaculate; she says she mentioned this to the doctor who told her that conceiving with Cowper's fluid is in fact very common. This is contrary to all I have read. Is this correct? Would a doctor make an assertion like this?

    Anyway, irrespective of all that, I am somewhat confused by the dates (and here you will have to bear with me and my cluelessness). The night we slept together was 10th December. She showed me the print-out of her first scan, which took place on 10th February. The scan said 9 weeks, 4 days; a week is taken off to account for her period, which makes it 8 weeks, 4 days. This puts the date of conception at 12th December. Am I missing something here? As I said, I do apologise for my lack of expertise on the subject. I only delved into this whole dates issue because I suspect this girl to have been sleeping with at least one other man (like I said, we were not a couple).

    Any insight would be hugely appreciated, I have tried talking to the mother but she is not very forthcoming with information and I feel a bit in the dark, to say the least. Let me also mention that I am not attempting to find an excuse to shirk my possible parental responsibility. I would just like to know if this child is indeed mine.

    Thanks,
    A.
     
    #1 Verdigris, Feb 13, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2012
  2. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    If she was 9weeks 4 days at her scan on the 10th feb then she would have ovulated/conceived around 18th Dec not the 12th, as ovulation occurs 2 weeks after the start of her last period which what they date pregnancy from.

    Sperm can live for up to 5 days within the women after sex. So I would says are probably not the father as the dates don't add up. As for info about pre cum, I thought u could still get pregnant from this, but I'm no expert.

    If she is adamant u the father it is probably best to hav a DNA test done once the baby is here just to put ur mind at ease.
     
  3. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    Yes pre-cum can get you pregnant whether u ejaculated earlier or not, and whether u pee'd after or not. It can still get u pregnant.

    BUT, my calculations work out the same as Kanga's, so I wouldn't be so sure ur the father. Although, babies grow at different rates esp in the first 12wks so its a possibility.

    As Kanga said, the only way to know for certain is by doing a DNA test when the baby is born.

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
     
  4. Verdigris

    Verdigris New Member

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    Well just to update you guys: I had the chance to have another good look at the scan. The L.M.P. date is down as 5th December, and the estimated due date is 10th September. According to online due date calculators this puts the date of conception at 19th December - so I looks like I am not the father. It looks like I'll be having a long chat tonight.

    Thanks guys for replying and helping me out with your answers.
     
  5. leesey

    leesey Well-Known Member

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    Just remember that scan dates are not always 100% accurate either though!
    My lmp date is 26th October, which essentially means I should have conceived 2 weeks later around the 9th of November. This would mean that my due date was 1st August 2012.
    I know for a fact that I conceived in fact on the 14th November, and that I have longer cycles which originally put my due date to the 3rd August 2012.
    HOWEVER, at my last scan, they put my due date back to the 7th August 2012, as the baby was measuring small.

    This means the difference of 6 days between what a pregnancy calculator says, and what my scan says. I know that Kanga was put AHEAD by the same number of days at her scan.
    So there can be a vast difference between when you conceived and when you're actually measured at scan.

    My hubby even joked to the sonographer that it must be the milkman's baby, because she put our dates so far back he knew we hadn't conceived then!!
     
  6. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    Thats very true leesey!! I forget they changed by dates so much, I did get moved forward by 6 whole days. I also knew when I conceived to which was 8th October, but scan put me at conceiving 3rd October. My baby was measuring small though by 3 days at my 20 week scan last week.

    I think the only way to be sure is to have a dna test done.
     
  7. Tara1985

    Tara1985 Well-Known Member

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    My LMP was 2nd December. I had sex on the 17th December and I know for a fact I ovulated on the 18th December. This is why you can't rely on the 14 day ovulation rule and highlights what Leesey said about due dates changing however my due date according to the scan I had at 8 weeks as the 9th/10th September.

    Unfortunately I have to agree with the ladies; a DNA test will have to be done to be sure because we don't know her cycle lengths (or when she possibly ovulated) and if your sperm did enter from pre-ejaculation we're not sure how long they could have swam around before meeting the egg.

    I have to say I am well impressed with your knowledge of this and most definitely do not see it as someone shirking their responsibility. If you are not in a committed relationship with this person and you took precautions, it is understandable to have these questions. Good luck!
     
  8. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    It seems fairly unlikely that she would conceive only 5 days after her LMP, but it can happen, like some of the others have said, she may have ovulated a few days afte that but may have had some sperm left.
    Considering you didn't ejaculate I would say the odds are against you being the father, but it is possible to get a woman pregnant through pre-ejaculate so you can't be 100%. Looks like the only way to know for sure is a DNA test!

    Good luck x
     
  9. Bee7

    Bee7 Well-Known Member

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    Agree with what the other ladies have said. From the dates/info you've given it doesn't look likely BUT you never know. Plus if she's naming you as the father and you're disputing it then you're probably going to have to take a DNA test anyway. In which case you will get an answer, just not yet for a while. I must admit i always thought the chances of getting pregnant from 'pre-cum' were quite slim, it's possible but not probable. But i'm no expert either.

    Hope it works out for you and you get the answer you want xxx
     
  10. winnie89

    winnie89 Well-Known Member

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    you could always ask your doctor Hun they would probably give u an answer with more certainty than what we could, but i think your best to wait until the baby is born and have the test done, then the other man can't dismiss it! xx
     

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