To routine or not routine - that is the question

[sasswa]

Hi guys,

Little Jake is now approaching 6 weeks and we are still demand-feeding, sleeping etc.

He is doing very well and I see him being quite contented. We are not sleeping through the night but I wasn't expecting him to anyway as yet - think it's a bit early.

He pretty much is in a routine with times give or take an hour but I don't know whether to be as strict as.....must be awake at 10pm to have a dream feed, needs bath at 7pm, etc etc.....what do you all think and more importantly what did/do you all do - demand-feeding or strict routine? Also, when did your routines kick-in to affect with them?

Sass

 

[babsi]

Sasswa, 6 months on and Kai himself is getting into a routine with the naps.

I am so lucky that Kai feeds at set time, now we have this routine:

8.00 - Cereal and 7oz bottle
10.45 - Bath
11.00 - 7oz bottle and then nap (but can be 30 mins or 2 hours)
1.00 - 2 cubes of fruit
3.00 - 7oz bottle and nap
5.00 - 3 cubes of vegetables
6.00 - 7oz bottle
10.00 - 7oz bottle and bedtime (will slowly start bringing this back)

Now since being back from a month away Kai is feeding really on schedule and at least he is starting to nap better. Our schedule is good because it suits our lifestyle as well, it probably wouldn't suit everyone and people probably think that he is having too much milk with the solids - but we decided with the doctor that we would let him drop it himself and so far he isn't, so just have to wait.

I would just let your baby guide you into a routine if that is what you want. Maybe he is tired at the same time each day, pick up on that, but saying that he is quite young and I only got something established in the last few weeks.

 

[Cat&Noah]

I put Noah on a routine very early on, and he has always been very well behaved, never cries cause he is hungry or anything, understod that he needed to be quiet at night very early on and it makes it a lot easier to make plans, I can time do ing food shoping, cooking out dinner, doing housework etc around his feeds. He has a set bedtime but during the day I let him nap as little or as much as he likes instead of giving him a set nap time, cause otherwise if we go out for the day it might upset him to lose this part of the routine. I personally wouldnt have done it any other way, and I think babies benefit form a routine, is gives them security and makes them more confident.

 

[lisa31]

Hi!

We tried to start Heidi with a routine too early I think. It wasnn't till she reached about early 3 moths old that she really started to respond and it all fell into place. And I read recently that this is the best time to start. I think thats true because I should of concentrated on getting more sleep rather than trying to put her into a routine too early.

Our routine is this (obviously she is now 5 months so feeds will be less)

Up at 6.30am Feed at 7

up for about an hour then bath. put in cot for nap till about 11.

Feed (milk and solids)

playtime for about 1-2 hours - then in cot again for about 1-2 hours sleep

Feed at 3

after this she also has a short nap - and this is the time of day where she gets a bit grizzley.

Top and Tail wash at 6.00. Feed at 6.30.

Approx 7-7.30 bed.

Around 10-11 - Dream Feed by D/H

Up at 6.30 AM.

What really has worked for us is the fact that we get up at the same time EVERY day (even weekends / when on holiday) This works for us as it means we now have our evenings back because she has been up a while and is ready for bedtime usually by 7.00pm (I dont know if I should tempt fate - but she hasnt been up cryingn for a very very long time - I cant even remember when it was!)

Also I am returning work and my mum is having her two days, then I will have her Wednesdays and she will then go nursery for Thursday and Friday. I will stick to getting up at the same time then. Cos I think that if you let them 'lie in' at the weekend - how can you expect them to still go bed at the same time? its like changing the rules for a couple of days - but expect them to get straight back into a routine on a Monday - how can they be expected to understand that!!!???!!

We also bath her in the morning because when she was tired it would over-stimulate her and she wouldnt sleep. We always do top and tail and a sing song at 6.00 (so I had better hurry and finish this post!!!!)

Of course, whatever you decide to do with be the right decision as everyones circumstances / lives are differennt.

L x

 

[lauramumof2]

Hi guys,
.....must be awake at 10pm to have a dream feed, needs bath at 7pm, etc etc.....what do you all think and more importantly what did/do you all do - demand-feeding or strict routine? Also, when did your routines kick-in to affect with them?

Sass

I stuck to a routine and it kicked in pretty quickly. I went back to work at 4 months and she was sleeping through. When I say stuck to a routine, sometimes we didnt get the times right but it was more the order in which we done them. If we got it wrong it would be obvious by bedtime, then we would more or less know where we went wrong.

You say you wake the baby for a dream feed, I wouldnt bother waking the baby. Most babies can do a bottle or breast without waking but I appreciate that some babies dont have this reflex. I was able to lift, feed and change Jess without her wakening but she always was a heavy sleeper.

So I would say routine, defintely. I love a routine and I think it make baby happy as they know what to expect and roughly when to expect it.

 

[Urchin]

Brody more or less put himself into a kind of routine, I never tried anything at a specific time, just let him give me the cues.

From what I have seen from other peoples babies is some love routine and some babies just don't.
My advice would be to try a little routine if you want but if it doesn't go to plan then don't stress over it.

 

[beanie]

Completely agree with Urchin. I tried to fit Seren into a routine nad she was having none of it. It just caused us both upset and we were both very low. I read about attachment parenting and have basically gone along with that, and I read Seren's cues. She decided when she wanted to sleep, I always demand feed and we don't have set times for anything. The only routine we have is that when it is time for bed she will either have a bath or wash, clean nappy, book, boob and bed as I find this winds her down. As she has gotten older a rough type of routine has developed in that she will have a sleep in the morning and a sleep in the afternoon. We also get up whenever - I am a slapdash mum (would give Gina Ford heart failure) This suits us, I am happy and Seren is always content and hardly cries.

So basically what I am trying to say, if a routine works then go for it but if it doesn't don't feel bad. Babies are individuals like we are, some of us like routine some of us don't

 

Damien doesn't have a set routine other than the amount he eats etc. He goes to sleep when he wants (normally between 8 and 10) and gets up at 8am everyday. He doesn't like set routine as there is no room to budge at all if I have to go and do something.
But then this works for us and might not for everyone

 

[lisa31]

I agree! All babies are different and need different things.

I am lucky with Heidi. If she is napping and I need to get her up to go out somewhere or if we are early / late with a feed its never a major problem.

I also have never been one to insist she stays in her cot for naps etc etc. If she shows signs of being tired I put her in the cot but if she starts waking up and messing about I just take her downstairs - I dont want the battle!!!! My patience wouldnt stand it!! lol

I think its nice how each baby does there own thing - and they all grow up just fine!

L x

 

[Rosebay]

I'd agree with everything that everyone has said. Elliott has been on a routine since pretty much the beginning as all of us seemed happiest that way. He took naturally to a routine and it has never felt like imposing anything so I think it's in his nature to like routine which is helpful as me and my OH would be lost without structure too. If we had another baby I think I'd have a go at a routine very early on and see how it went- if they resisted then frankly there's not much point in battling and I'd have to be more flexible with timings etc I guess. To start with we adapted Gina Ford's routines but recently he has adapted it himself so that he wakes at 7am (if I'm lucky!), has an hour and a quarter at 9am then about half an hour around 2ish then goes to bed at 6.45-7pm which is the other way around to her schedule but seems to be his natural one so I'm sticking with it .

Good luck whatever way you decide to play it!
+++

 

[Rosieroo]

I tried and failed at daytime routines which made me feel like carp. In the day we do what Ella wants and she's sort of settled into her own routine of going back to bed after a couple of hours and having a nap in the afternoon. Our only routine is at night which is bath, bottle of EBM and bed, which has worked for us for months.

 

[Urchin]

I tried and failed at daytime routines which made me feel like carp.

Sorry kina!

 

[lauramumof2]

What a lovely carp.

I would have to say that even the mummies who think they arent in a routine sound pretty much as though they are in sort of routine. Beanie, you dont sound slapdash at all and Gina Ford can kiss my . I was all eyes and ears about her before I had the baby but when I came home with this baby i realised it was not a practical thing.

I would say that to me, a routine is a series of events that take place in roughly the same order every day and for me the bedtime bit is the bit thats most important but it doesnt matter if she goes down at 7.30 or 9, as long as we do everything in the order she expects.

 

[Rosieroo]

I tried and failed at daytime routines which made me feel like carp.

Sorry kina!

That carp is too sexy to me, don't show DH, he'll get jealous!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Kiara was always on a demand feeding , stillis really she will eat cereal an hourish after waking tehn few hours later has milk then has some fruit and milk then more milk then what ever were having for dinner usually then milk and bed but some days she dotn eat much ect which changes everything i just go by how she is that day
Katrina